The Clash of two Worlds
by Demons Of Doom
Summary: What happens when you put a socially handicapped teenage boy, a Chinese barbarian and a spoiled middle class Japanese girl in the same neighborhood for too long? LAST CHAPT-UP COMPLETED! YEY!
1. Saving an ungrateful ass

Nothing's mine. Not even this computer. I'm still paying for it.

_Mandarin dialogues in this caption._

I'm changing the order of events a little.

* * *

><p>They sat in the foyer, enjoying the sunlight and the warm breeze of summer. It had been a strange day but everything ended well. Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung, Shampoo's amazon sisters, learnt the truth about Ranma's transformation. Instead of returning home with blood in their hands, the girls were glad to take the news of a happy marriage instead. That would avoid new unpleasant and unannounced visits from China...at least where the Amazons were concerned.<p>

"That doesn't change the fact that Shampoo's still set on you…"

Akane said calmly, petting P-chan behind his perky ears. The small animal sighed in his sleep.

"That's her idea, not mine."

"Our engagement was our father's idea. Not ours…"

The comment seemed to anger Ranma but Akane didn't care. Not too long ago, they had tried to get married. It wasn't a decision forced by circumstances. They realized, after the unpleasant experience of killing and dying, how much they loved each other. They wanted to be married and spend the rest of their lives together. But the celebration was ruined by all the crazy people crowding their lives.

Akane made it clear to Ryoga and Kuno how she felt but Ranma failed to do the same with his numerous stalkers. It had been months now and Shampoo, Ukyo and Kodachi kept pestering them as if nothing had happened. She was growing impatient and doubts about his intentions were arousing.

"That's right but...You know..."

"What?"

"Well, that I..."

"Ranma, look out!"

Ranma stiffened. Akane scowled at Shampoo as she landed neatly before them. The Amazon was not looking at her. She immediately dropped into a fight stance, facing the far wall intently.

"Ranma!" An imperative female voice roared from the other side. "Where are you?"

Suddenly, a chunk of wall collapsed. Two figures emerged from the settling smoke. They were female; they looked unfriendly and angry; they were heavily armed. This couldn't be good.

"Defiler of Joketsuzoku law, prepare to die!"

"Uh…Ranma…Say hello to two other sisters from Joketsuzoku tribe…"

Ranma wailed and fell back. It was a few hours since they had managed to dispatch Ling-ling and Lung-lung. The new visitors seemed to have far more potential and disposition to cause pain and property damage. The boy jumped back to his feet and snarled at Shampoo.

"They're your sisters! Deal with them!"

"But they come for you!" Shampoo whispered back. "Shampoo come help!"

The women warriors readjusted the hold on their wicked looking weapons and walked menacingly towards them. The one holding a kanabo and sporting two pig-tails made an imperative gesture with her left hand, signaling Shampoo to move out of the way. The younger Joketsuzoku refused and talked calmly in the native tongue. Her words seemed to calm the belligerent pair for a moment but, as the conversation continued, voices raised in volume and the pace of their words quicken. In less than three minutes the two Amazons were snapping and screaming at each other, waving their arms wildly in random directions. The third woman, holding a shield and a trident, stepped in between them in an effort to calm them down.

Ranma grabbed Akane's hand and started dragging her away.

"What're you doing?"

"Getting the heck away! Let's go!"

"No! Look what they did to the wall!" She yanked her hand free. "Get them out of the house, Ranma. They'll tear it apart!"

"They wanna tear _me_ apart!"

"Well, are you a man or not?"

Ranma and Akane glared at each other. Ryoga -awakened abruptly from his nap by the sudden commotion- snorted happily. It was always nice to see them fight. After the wedding attempt- and the ingestion of their cure- his world almost collapsed. Then the girls came and destroyed it all. Ranma and Akane's relationship would run its natural course to failure safely and he could swoop down to aid Akane on her time of need when the jerk broke her heart.

"Hush. Do you-do you hear that?" Ranma whispered urgently.

"What?"

"…silence…"

Akane blinked and turned to glance at the Amazons. Ranma pushed her violently aside. A huge spiked weapon embedded itself to its hilt into the wooden planks they had been standing on, snapping them in half. Attached to the weapon was a very tall and very angry looking woman.

"Where Ranma?"

"She left to Hawaii!"

Ranma barked and tried to kick the weapon out of the woman's hand. He received a solid kick to the chest before reaching his mark. The blow forced him back and allowed the woman to yank her weapon free off the wood. She slammed it on the palm of her outstretched hand and smirked.

"Little boy need stick to what he know …"

"He husband, Spoh Nxe! You leave alone!"

Shampoo screamed from the other side of the garden as she dodged the vicious attacks of the other new-comer. Her cloths were shredded in places, evidence she had met the sharp bite of her opponent's weapon. A swift punch directed at the older woman resulted in a painful impact against the iron surface of her shield.

Shampoo's clarification of his identity did little to help the situation. Spoh Nxe's face contorted in an expression of rage.

"So you are the bastard! Little Xian Pu follow you around like puppy and you treat her like dirt! I teach you lesson!"

"She got that right, Ranma…"

Akane murmured. He glared at her and then at Shampoo. The Amazon shrugged in the middle of a back-flip. His attention was forced back to his opponent as she leaped at him. Her weapon slammed painfully on his side. He ignored the alarmed shouts of the girls and the pain spreading through his ribs like fire and dodged the next attack. He broke through her defenses and landed a solid blow of his own. The Amazon staggered back.

They faced each other, evaluating more carefully their opponent after the quick trade of blows. As a principle, Ranma hated fighting women. This one, however, was keeping up with him and that meant skill and toughness. Her pretty face was set in a hard expression. She didn't even blink as she stared at him. Her intensity reminded him of Ryoga. If he didn't get serious she may even manage to hurt him. Or Akane.

"Aiya!"

Ranma heard the scream before Shampoo slammed full force against him. Their bodies flew a few feet before bouncing on the grass and ending in the koi-pond.

The water was cold and the fish snaked around their legs. Their bodies started changing. Usually, the transformation was too quick to feel anything. When Shampoo was with him, Ranma could literally feel her slender human hands turning into the furry wicked paws of a cat. Its horrible claws hooked under his skin and into the muscles below and an eerie mew gurgled next to his ear.

The two Amazons stood in front of the pond with their weapons ready. It was unfortunate Shampoo was so mulish about this whole Ranma-business. It wasn't shameful to accept the aid of the Clan against an outsider. She had been dealing alone with this one for a year now. It was time to receive help, whatever she liked it or not. Their thoughts were interrupted by the sudden explosion of the pond's surface. A girl emerged from the falling water curtain, howling like a rabid demon, her arms and legs flailing wildly. They stared at her as she ran erratically around the garden.

"_Foh Am, is that…?"_

"_I think she is. Red-hair, pig-tail…."_

"Ranma!"

Spoh Nxe snarled and leaped to meet the screaming girl.

Even in her cat-induced panic, Ranma detected the spiked weapon coming towards her head. A shrill cry of relief left her mouth and she ducked to place the horrifying beast clawing her skull directly on the path of the mace. The kanabo hit the cat and sent it flying away. It bounced on the grass and slid to a stop several feet away.

"_Get Xian Pu and that idiot out of the pond. Maybe they're hiding like this weirdo."_

Foh Am was doubtful but she did as she was told.

Ranma- free from the horror of having a cat clawing her head-was able to focus and think straight once again. She saw an Amazon standing a few feet away and the other on the pond. Akane stood near the house, looking pale and shaken. Ryoga was gaping in her arms. The cat that was Shampoo lay motionless near them. Ranma's mind processed what she had done in a moment of blind panic. The blood drained from his face. Her heart started pounding on her ears. What had she done?

"Ranma, look out!"

Instincts kicked in. Ranma jumped back. The kanabo passed whistling inches away from her face. She had a female body now. Any dishonorable advantage was gone. They were on equal ground and she was mad as hell. Ranma's fist met the Amazon's jaw. Spoh Nxe kicked at her, trying to gain space to maneuver her weapon. Ranma blocked the attack and landed a solid punch right on her mouth. She staggered back.

"_They're not in the water, Spoh Nxe!"_ Foh Am said_. "Aiya….I think we made a mistake. Do you remember that…?"_

Spoh Nxe couldn't understand her sister over the ringing on her ears. That Ranma girl was definitely good. She had punched her face several times before rattling her teeth with a swift kick to the jaw. The world was swirling before her eyes. No wonder little Shampoo had been unable to kill her.

The Joketsuzoku was swaying. Ranma waited in hopes she would just fall on her ass and stay down. They had no such luck. She shook her head and her eyes refocused. She swayed no more. Her hands readjusted their grip on the kanabo and she leaped at him, letting out a fierce battle cry.

Spo Nxe gasped when the red-head, instead of moving out of the way or trying to block the attack, leaped forward to meet her charge.

"Chestnut Roasting on an Open Fire!"

Spoh Nxe gritted her teeth as her arms strained to hold her weapon still. Ranma's hands blurred as she hit it viciously. When the assault stopped, the Joketsuzoku blinked and eyed the spiked mace. It had been bent and dented into an unrecognizable mass of flat iron.

"M-my kanabo!"

"You give up now?"

"You little bitch break my weapon! It gift! Now, I going break you pet!"

The Amazon's eyes burnt. Ranma knew that feral look. She had seen it many times on opponents that were on the verge of doing something really violent and stupid and Spo Nxe delivered. Her arms blurred as she whirled towards the house. Ranma turned for Ryoga, knowing Akane would get hurt when the pig was attacked. The animal wasn't cradled on his fiance's arms. He sat alone in the grass, squealing in alarm. The high-pitched cry mixed with a human scream…

Akane held the cat close to her chest. She was proud of her quick reaction. She had not thought. She had simply jumped to aid the fallen Shampoo. It had been a wise move to make. The second she managed to secure the limp animal against her chest, a sharp sudden pain spread like fire through her arm. She couldn't help the shrill scream that crawled out of her mouth.

"Akane!"

"I-I'm okay…"

It was a lie. She was in agony. Two hands settled on her shoulders and Akane looked up to find Ranma leaning over her. She glanced at her arm and the pain seemed to increase: she could see the hilt of a dagger protruding from her shoulder.

"Oh, God…"

"Don't freak out. Sit down."

"Behind you, Ranma!"

Ranma's eyes blazed. She turned sharply to face the Amazon. Woman or not she was going to tear her apart. There was no defiance on either of the Joketsuzoku as they approached. They were staring at the cat intently. The woman holding the shield cleared her throat and pointed at Akane.

"Could we please take a look at the cat?"

"You should get the hell outta here…"

"Ranma!"

Akane struggled to her feet and glanced at Shampoo. The girl turned cat was staring at her with bleary golden eyes,purring softly. She smiled at her through the dazing agony of her stabbed arm. Everything would be okay. A shadow loomed over them and Akane looked up. One of the Joketsuzoku was standing in front of her. She leaned over to stare a moment at the cat. She flinched and turned back to scream angrily at her sister in their native tongue. The other woman stammered and yelled right back. An argument broke between them. Ranma and Akane picked only one word from what sounded like gibberish: Jusenkyo.

"Gotta figure it out sooner 'r later." Ranma grumbled darkly. "Come on, we gotta stop the bleeding…"

"Ranma…"

One of the women grabbed her arm. Ranma snatched it back and whirled on her, throwing a brutal blow to her face. Her hand connected with an iron shield. The blow hurt her delicate female knuckles but at least the shield dented beyond usefulness.

"I can fix your friend!" The Joketsuzoku said, throwing the shield aside. "I'm a certificated healers…see?"

Foh Am produced a framed diploma from between her cloths that clearly stated she had completed her studies in Joketsuzoku Medical School. She flashed him a toothy sheepish smile before hiding it back.

They sat in the dining room, nursing steaming cups of tea. Soun was too busy suffering a weeping-stroke after seen his 'little-girl' bleeding. Ranma supervised the Joketsuzoku tending his fiancé.

As it turned out, the dagger was quite small. Its blade was no more than 2 inches long. Spoh Nxe explained it was designed to be the lightest and most aerodynamic of all throwing knives. The user required to have perfect aim if they were to make a useful tool out of it.

"It go right on neck or forehead. Maybe chest too if you can aim between ribs. " She explained when Ranma refused to give the dagger back to her. "You see how it no do much in limb."

"You can stick it in a joint." Foh Am said, putting away her medical supplies.

"Yeah...but if want incapacitate enemy, more fun break legs."

"You're a barbarian."

"_You shouldn't call your own sister that in front of Outsiders you know…"_

"Boo-hoo…"

Akane stared at her bandaged arm. The pain had been numbed through shiatsu. She was warmed, however, that as soon as the effect of the pressure point passed, it would hurt. She should avoid using the arm as much as possible for at least three days. Despite the positive diagnosis, her family, Uncle Genma and Ranma hovered over her. She was sure it looked pretty bad. The sight of all that blood had scared Kasumi and put her father to tears. She felt fine and so much attention was upsetting. She was a Martial Artist, after all. Injuries were bound to happen.

"So…" She said. "How are you doing, Shampoo?"

Everyone turned to the Amazon. Ranma had insisted they turned her back to human as soon as the fight was over. Kasumi had been quick to comply. Since they turned her back, Shampoo had sat in silence at the opposite side of the table, wearing a borrowed bathrobe. They noticed suddenly how sick she looked.

"You don't look so good, little sister." Foh Am said. "Khu Long's going to crack your head open, Spoh Nxe."

"It all Ling-ling and Lung-lung fault! If they no ditch us at Airport..."

"Nothing of this would have happened."

"When I get my hands on them: bang!"

Spoh Nxe smashed a fist into the palm of her hand. It sounded like two massive rocks slamming against each other. Soun and Genma shuddered. The more they learnt about the women of Joketsuzoku, the grimmer the lives of their men seemed to be.

"Is she going to be alright?" Akane asked, looking at Shampoo.

"Sure! Come on, Xian Pu. We'll walk you home."

"I no feel so good."

"Move. I want catch up Ling-ling and Lung-lung tonight. "

Shampoo struggled to stand. Her pale skin glimmered with sweat. Ranma sighed and offered a helping hand. He was shoved roughly aside. Spo Nxe grabbed her sister by the back of the bathrobe and hauled her to her feet. Shampoo moaned loudly. Foh Am laughed.

"Japan has spoiled you, little sister. It's just a few cracks."

"Hey, leave her alone." Akane pushed her way in between the two Joketsuzoku and placed a hand on Shampoo's shoulder. "She doesn't look so good."

"You mind own business, little girl."

Spoh Nxe reached out to shove Akane out of the way. They needed to take Shampoo back to wherever she was staying at and report to Khu Long. If the old woman was going to punish her for this, she'd better do it fast. She wanted to catch up to Ling-ling and Lung-lung tonight. Those people had made them waste quite enough of their time already.

A stout hand latched onto her wrist and held tightly. A bit too tightly.

"Don't touch her."

Ranma waited till the woman stepped back before letting go of her hand. His met her angry gaze calmly. It had taken a lot of self-control not to beat her senseless after what she had done to Akane. The Joketsuzoku sneered and it seemed she would make the single stupid move he needed as an excuse to physically kick her out. But the other woman placed a firm hand on her shoulder and snapped sharply in Mandarin. Spo Nxe growled and stormed out of the house.

"Move you ass, Xian Pu! Let go already!"

"Yes, big sister."

Despite her words, Shampoo did not move and continued to sway unsteadily on her spot.

"Perhaps she could stay here tonight." Kasumi offered with a smile, picking up the used dishes. "It's no trouble at all!"

Everyone turned to stare at her in disbelief. Ranma was the first to voice his protests.

"She's gonna sneak into my bed!"

"I don't think she could." Nabiki said. "I think she's dying."

"Nabiki!"

Ranma regarded Shampoo carefully. She was standing but her eyes had closed. She started snoring softly. She had fallen asleep on her feet...like a chicken. His eyes narrowed and he leaned closer. He poked at her in the arm, then on the stomach. He put his face inches away from hers and snapped his fingers under her nose.

Akane slammed him face-first on the ground.

"Stop that!"

"Where's the Neko Hanten again?"

Akane gave Foh Am instructions on how to get to the Chinese Restaurant and soon the Amazons were off on their way. The door was wide-open but they still smashed a new whole in the wall to exit. The family stared at the settling smoke in chagrin. The voice of the Amazons drifted in the distance. Only Shampoo's soft snoring interrupted the peaceful silence that settled for a few wonderful seconds in the Tendo's household.

"That was so weird." Nabiki stated dully, turning on the TV and biting a cracker. "Our lives are so weird now."

"Should we take her upstairs?"

"I guess…"

Ranma placed a hand on the Amazon's shoulder. She snapped awake. Her wild-eyes darted around the room. After a moment, she seemed to recognize the place and settled down. She rubbed her eyes and wiped absently some drool from the corner of her mouth.

"I go home. Great-Grandmother worry."

"But your clothes are not dry yet." Kasumi informed her worriedly. "And you look so tired. Please, stay."

"But is late."

"You can sleep here."

Shampoo stared vacantly at the oldest Tendo sister for a moment before her glassy eyes brightened in sudden realization. She turned to Ranma. He jerked his hand away from her shoulder and stepped back. He knew what that happy face meant. The Amazon let out a happy 'yey!' before leaping at him with feline grace. In mid-leap, however, her body stiffened and a breathless whimper crawled out of her lips. Her body dropped to the ground like a stone.

"Oh, my…"

"Geez…" Ranma knelt next to the fallen girl and tried to lift her up. Shampoo screamed and he jerked his hands back. "Wow! Shit! I'm sorry, I didn't…Man, she sure got ya good…"

"…Aiya…"

"Maybe we should call Dr Tofu…"

"Yeah…maybe…"

"Tuck…in…bed….airen…"

Dr Tofu's expert fingers located hairline fractures in the left side of Shampoo's rib-cage but nothing had snapped out of place and the girl's breathing was steady and clear. Most of the pain she was feeling came from a strained muscle in her neck. All she needed was to sleep off the immediate effects of taking such a blow and a few acupressure sessions in the following weeks.

"Is no home…" Shampoo blurred weakly as he pulled a blanket over her body. "….this tacky…decoration…"

"Hey!" Akane cried out in outrage. "You're….Mo…Is she going to be alright?"

"Yes but it's really good that you made her stay. She needs the rest."

Dr Tofu gave her a warm smile. There had been a time when those eyes would have made her blush and stammer like a shy little girl. In time, without noticing, the crush she had had on him had lost its fire. She could smile back at him as if he were just another good friend. That's what Dr Tofu was to her now. She no longer wished him as hers. Almost subconsciously, Akane looked at Ranma. She found him staring at her.

"What?"

"What you did." He explained in a matter-of-fact tone, looking back at Shampoo. "It was very brave."

Akane blushed and her eyes darted to the ground. She was not used to receiving compliments from Ranma. It made her feel all tingly inside.

"She's done the same for me before. Besides, I was just closer."

"Not so much. You moved pretty fast. It was-uh-it was…neat."

She finally found the courage to look up. Their eyes met. Her heart seemed to melt. He rarely dropped the hard wall of indifference clouding his eyes but this time, he allowed her to find the gentle forgiving soul that lay behind it.

Ranma swallowed. It was amazing what a few words would make of a woman. Some would turn Akane into this irrational and violent bitch and others turned her into the most beautiful and gentle girl he had ever laid his eyes on. His heart was pounding really fast. She was blushing. At least it wasn't only him who felt embarrassed by their growing proximity…

"Oh….Saotomoe-kun…"

"Ororo!"

Ranma and Akane flinched away from each other. The entire family was standing at the door staring at them. Nabiki had a camera on her hands while Soun was having a second weeping-seizure. The panda had one of his infamous signs held high.

"_So adorable!"_

"Ka…Ka…Heh…Hello, Kasumi!"

Dr Tofu babbled and jumped to stand next to Kasumi- first he tripped and slammed face first into Akane's desk but he recovered quickly. Kasumi smiled gently at him

"Hello again, Dr Tofu. How is little Shampoo?"

"Fine, she's great! You should come and visit more often!"

She laughed a little, unsure what the correct answer to such a comment could be. Nabiki stared at them. It was getting late and her patience had worn out. She reminded Kasumi it was late and that there was laundry still hanging outside. Her sister excused herself and they left.

Dr Tofu blinked at the sudden vacancy next to him. There were a few more seconds of stammering nonsense before his brain re-settled and recovered its awareness of space and time. He cleared his throat.

"Hum…well….uh….Well…Remember not to exert any pressure or to make any efforts with that arm for at least two weeks." He reminded Akane. "Then we can take off the sling."

Akane sighed. It would represent a great impediment during practice but she supposed there was no help for it. Before Dr Tofu arrived, the effects of the pressure point used by Foh Am had worn off. The sample of the pain she could feel with the arm hanging free was more than enough to help her accept the sling Dr Tofu put on it without comment.

"It is strange." He said. "The way she treated your wound talks of experience and skill. But to not still the arm properly…"

"They wanted Shampoo to walk home with them."

He sighed and scratched the back of his head. He glanced at Shampoo. She was sleeping soundly.

"Well, I should get going now. If something happens, just call me. I'll talk to Cologne and come back tomorrow morning to pick her up."

"Thank you, doctor."

Everyone left and Akane, Shampoo and P-chan were left in each other's company. The sister girl picked up the black piglet and held him close. Things had not turned out so good. It hadn't occurred to her that Shampoo would be sleeping in her room, much less in her bed. She had guessed unrolling a spared futon in one of the guest rooms would have been enough. The stupid Amazon doctor had made them believe Shampoo's injuries were not a big deal. When Dr Tofu arrived and reported that they were, in fact, something serious, Kasumi did not hesitate to offer a bed. And since Shampoo was Akane's friend...

"Maybe you're going to respect me more now." She stated haughtily to her sleeping guest. "Stupid weak Akane just saved your life."

She walked around the bed to lay down on the futon Kasumi had rolled out for her and cuddled P-chan to her chest. She closed her eyes and sighed. Ranma was proud of her. She felt proud of herself too. One of the many favors she owed the Amazon had been repaid. She had saved her life. Akane drifted to sleep with a smile on her lips.


	2. Tentative approaches

_"Everyone sees what you seem to be, few know what you really are."_

Niccolò Machiavelli, The Prince

* * *

><p>Pain dragged her from a dreamless slumber. First it was her arm with its throbbing cut and then it was her back and neck resenting the night spent sleeping on the ground. It was a great way to start the day, Akane thought grimly as she rubbed her neck. Fortunately, it was Saturday. Her mood would have worsened if she was forced to hurry. All she wanted to do was pamper herself a little bit. She sure needed it and deserved it.<p>

She stood up and glanced at the bed. Shampoo was still asleep. She looked a little better. Her face had recovered its color and the plaintive moaning had stopped. Akane remembered the brutal blow she had taken and the way her small cat-body bounced limply across the grass. She scratched absently the bandages on her shoulders.

After she rolled the futon, Akane got ready for jogging. She was sure the pain would ease and the stiff muscles would loosen up completely after she was done. She was right about the stiffness but by the time she trotted back home, the pain in her arm had increased. The wound burnt and what was worst: it itched. She hurried to the bathroom, hoping the cold water of a good shower would bring relief.

When the cold water washed over the wound, Akane forgot all about good matters and let out a vicious curse that would have had Kasumi almost frown at her. It sting like hell. Luckily, the water did bring relief after a moment. She enjoyed the feeling a few seconds before soaping carefully the wound and adding a new bandage as Dr Tofu had instructed. The horrible itching started again as soon as it was dry and covered. Akane sighed. It was going to be a tough first few days. Maybe some of Kasumi's food would make her feel a little better.

The family sat at the dining table. Ranma was wolfing down his breakfast. It was a nasty habit directly linked to Uncle Genma. Akane's fiancé would eat like any civilized person when the old man was not present. But when he was around, eating slowly meant going hungry.

"Where's Shampoo?" Akane asked as she sat next to Ranma. "She was still in my room when I left."

"Oh, good morning, Akane." Kasumi said, handing her a pot filled with rice. "Dr Tofu visited earlier and took her to the Clinic."

"Oh- Was she any better?"

"She looked horrible." Her older sister's answer caused a collective choking seizure around the table, but she didn't seem to notice. "How is your arm?"

"It hurts a little but not so much. We should visit this afternoon and make sure she'll be fine, Ranma-"

"What? Why?"

"What do you mean 'why'? It's your fault she was hurt!"

Ranma's eyes bulged in anger and he sputtered rice all over her.

"My fault? That wacko job of a sister she's got hit her!"

Even as he spoke, the Panda that was his father tried to snatch a couple of eggs from his plate. Ranma stabbed the black paw with his chopsticks before snatching the eggs up himself and swallowing them whole.

"But…"

"Dr Tofu said she's gonna be okay, Akane. Leamme alone."

Akane sighed but didn't insist. The more she thought about it the less she liked the idea of him visiting Shampoo anyway. The Amazon had a way of misunderstanding friendly concern with love when it was about Ranma. Anything he did had her to jump to the conclusion that he either loved her or was pursuing her. Running into him at the beach, having to fight together at some random battle, visiting her at the Hospital…

By the time breakfast was over, Akane was rather annoyed at the whole idea and she made it clear to Ranma by giving him cold glares. This whole problem was his fault.

* * *

><p>The first day of School after an incident was always hard. Everyone kept asking details about the incident and hovered around her like bees around a cup of sugar. Akane was forced to explain the events which led to her wound to everyone. Usually, that was enough for the hungry crowd but this time things were different. It wasn't just about her wound. It was about the brave and selfless act of risking her own life to save another person.<p>

"What a hero!"

"I'd have fainted. I'm not so brave!"

"I don't know what I'd have done. She's, like, trying to steal your boyfriend…"

The crowd of girls surrounding her whispered to each other. Akane blushed furiously and had to make a great effort not to whirl around and punch the bitch that had made that comment.

"He's not my boyfriend!"

"He's her _fiancé_!"

"How can somebody try to steal another girl's fiance!"

"She's not from here, that's why she does it."

"We asked take-out at her restaurant once." Sayuri was saying. "And when we couldn't get to the door in time, that bimbo broke through our wall."

There was a collective gasp in the crowd. Akane sighed. She hated gossiping. It was upsetting how some people could have so much fun talking crap about someone else.

"And she's a bully." A small snotty girl trusted the others. "She broke my boyfriend's hand once because he didn't tip her…"

"She broke it 'cause he tried to pinch her ass."

"No, he didn't!"

The girl howled, her chubby face flushing grotesquely. She was forced to take a few breaths to calm down. Her reaction startled them all into silence for a moment. A girl cleared her throat.

"I've heard she comes from some wild tribe in the Tibet and that people there eat pigs alive!"

Akane groaned.

* * *

><p>The Nekohanten was close. Its residents were probably at Dr Tofu's Clinic. But what concerned Akane was the sign hanging from the main. It announced the restaurant would remain close for a month. She wasn't aware Shampoo's injuries were so serious.<p>

A loud noise thundered inside the dark restaurant. Akane frowned and regarded the closed door for a moment. She could hear someone inside muttering curses. It was a male voice. She knocked, wondering why Mousse wasn't at the Hospital. If he loved Shampoo so much he should be there with her.

All noise ceased. Minutes passed and there was no answer. She knocked again. Either Mousse was also deaf or he was ignoring her. Akane called out his name and there was still no answer. Ther was no doubt anymore: the jerk was ignoring her. She was about to turn and leave in a huff when the door slid open.

It wasn't Mousse. The middle-aged stocky man behind the door looked at her up and down. He had the saddest, most bitter looking face Akane had ever seen.

"Uh-hi…Is Cologne home?"

"No. Is you Akane Tendo? You no should be here."

"I'm a friend." She answered tightly.

He laughed. It was a horrible sound that freaked the hell out of her and stunned her into silence. Fortunately, it didn't last long. The man stopped laughing as abruptly as he started and pointed a finger at her.

"Better stay out of Shampoo way."

The door was slid shut and locked again. Akane was too startled to react as fast as she would have liked. When she snapped out of her stupor, she screamed shrilly at the closed doors, demanding that the little man clarified what the heck he meant and inquiring if she supposed to take it as a threat. The door refused to react to her bellowing so Akane whirled around and stormed away.

* * *

><p>Dr Tofu was working on his garden. Most of his work would be ruined at night by the stray cats he fed. Either he was very tolerant of the animals or he wasn't aware they were the perpetrators behind the plant-massacre he woke up to every morning. Maybe he just enjoyed fixing the plants. He was a doctor, after all…<p>

Akane smiled as soon as he looked up and noticed her presence. He straightened and greeted her, his handsome face stained with dirt. He asked her about her arm, pulling his glasses a little higher up his nose.

"It hurts a little bit but not so much. Is Shampoo here?"

"Yes. She'll be staying for a few days."

"Is she any better?"

"She's already up and around." Dr Tofu informed. His eyes were pensive. "Someone with her injuries shouldn't be."

"What do you mean?"

"Just that she shouldn't be able to walk right now. And her sister, with the concussion she had…" He shook his head in awe before turning back to his plants. "It's quite amazing."

"Can I see her?"

"Of Course! Upstairs, last room on the left. I'm sure you'll find it."

Akane nodded with a smile. It was the same room she had stayed at when her leg broke. Dr Tofu said it was the nicest room in the Clinic. It had a nice view and good natural light. He always tried to save it for delicate patients or for friends.

Akane knocked on the door and waited. It burst open and the next thing she knew, a pair of breasts was squeezing against hers and two soft arms had locked firmly at the nape of her neck. Words of love filled the air. A scent of shoe flower filled her nostrils. It enraged her even more because it smelt so nice.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING 'AIREN'?"

"Aiya!" Shampoo flinched back. "Is Pervert Girl!"

"Look who's talking!"

"I waiting for Ranma. You go away!"

"He's not coming so let me in! I brought you curry."

Shampoo grimaced at the sight of the package her uninvited visitor was brandishing. She recoiled from the smell it had. Akane took the gesture as an invitation to walk in.

There was no one else in the room. Akane walked to the night-table. Its gleaming surface remained empty save for a potted plant. She remembered how it had been filled with get-better letters and other gifts during her own stay at the Clinic. She set the curry down.

"I thought Cologne would be here."

"Great-grandmother come early then go China. She say it better tell whole clan to mind own business." Shampoo rubbed her head with a grimace. "She too too angry."

"Oh…"Akane winced in sympathy. "Dr Tofu said one of your sisters had a concussion."

The Amazon nodded but clarified that it had not been Cologne who hurt Spo Nxe. Mousse had gone ballistic after the sisters reported the incident. Only her Great-grandmother's intervention had prevented him from cutting her into shreds. The news unnerved Akane a little. Men were not supposed to do that sort of things to women, no matter how angry they might be.

"Where is he now?"

"I beg Great-grandmother take with. He fly Ashi Tzu with other bird. Why you protect me yesterday, Akane?"

"Because we are friends. We watch each other's back."

"We is no friend. We enemy. But you save Shampoo life." The Amazon grabbed her hands and smiled. "We friend now!"

Akane's first reaction was anger. After all they have gone through the bitch still thought of her as an enemy? Shampoo's gleaming eyes and happy smile could have melted stone and the initial burst of anger soon passed. She found herself smiling back. Shampoo's gratitude made the constant ache on her arm and the hard night spent on the floor worthwhile.

Her smile twitched a little when Shampoo cupped her face between her cold hands and leaned closer. The Amazon planted her warm moist lips firmly over hers. Akane's eye bulged out of their sockets. Her face flushed red. She tried to slap the daring pervert's teeth out but Shampoo blocked the blow casually.

"Hentai!"

"What you talking? Is sealing agreement!" Shampoo protested. "Now leave, please? Ranma come visit and you is intruding in private wonderful moment. Zai Jian!"

Akane was unceremoniously dragged out of the room. The door slammed inches away from her nose. She stared at it. The taste of Shampo's lips was still on her mouth and that sweet scent of flowers danced on her nostrils. She blushed again.

"HENTAI!" She howled as a goodbye and stormed away.

* * *

><p>Akane shared the events of the day with the family, glossing over the part where Shampoo had French-kissed her. It was an unimportant detail. Shampoo had officially accepted her as a friend. It was a recognition that would surely change things. No more breaking into the house. No more mockery and no more sneak attacks. She felt rather proud of herself for resolving such a big problem-caused by Ranma- on her own.<p>

Ranma stared at Akane with half-lidded eyes. He knew Shampoo was useful to have around. She was a resourceful and fierce ally and she could be really nice when she wanted to. But the Amazon was also kind of a brat. She would turn on people and make their lives miserable if things didn't go her way. She had done it to him. She did it to Mousse and he was certain she would do it to Akane. And she wasn't strong or fast enough to stand up to the Amazon. He pointed out those facts to her and got a glass of cold water to the face.

"He's got a point, Akane." Nabiki commented, looking up from her magazine. "She _is_ dangerous."

"No, she's not. She's just Shampoo."

Her family,Uncle Genma and Ranma gave her a leveled gaze. Even P-chan seemed a bit skeptic about that affirmation. She blushed at first, ashamed. It seemed once again she had made a fool of herself. But then she remembered the way Shampoo had smiled at her. She had done something good. They were not going to ruin it. She glared and rose to her feet.

"If I decide to be friends with Shampoo, it's none of your business anyway!"

She turned and walked out of the dining room. Ranma's delicate female hand latched on her shoulder and whirled her around. Akane was stunned by the daring move and even more by the grim expression on her fiancé's face.

"Akane, Shampoo's dangerous. You can't deal with her. You're different."

She gritted her teeth and pushed her hand away. She turned and left with tears of frustration gathering on her eyes. So she couldn't deal with her. She was different. She was gonna show them.

* * *

><p>The stab would leave a scar. It was upsetting but at least she didn't need the sling anymore. The bandages were off as well. It was a great relief. She was afraid the forced stillness of such an important limb may ruin it. The bandages grew dirty very quickly with all the exercising she did. Changing it three times a day was a tiresome routine.<p>

After Dr Tofu was done with her arm, Akane asked permission to visit Shampoo. All week she had been warned about pursuing this friendship. Everyone seemed to think that she was either stupid or weak. She wanted to start working on proving them all wrong. Her family and her friends and specially Ranma, would see what she was really made of.

She reached the Amazon's room and knocked firmly on the door. It flung open and Shampoo leaped at her. This time however, she halted herself in time and sighed mournfully.

"Oh, is you. What you want?"

"Hi! Just wanted to make sure you're okay."

Shampoo sighed again and shuffled back into the room. Akane followed. The room smelt of perfume and a gentle wind entered through the window. The bed was made and a bag of cloths rested on it.

"You're leaving already?"

"Dr Tofu say no but I ask again later. Is good already."

"What's the rush?"

"Great-grandmother disappointed." The glorious eyes of the Amazon grew clouded and lowered to the ground. "She say I get what get because no train enough no more. I need catch up."

"She attacked you when you were a cat." Akane reminded her. "It wasn't a very honorable thing to do. It wasn't even your fault."

"Kill with no honor is still kill."

Akane frowned. She had never seen Shampoo sad before-not for real. She reached out to touch her shoulder, but the Amazon shun the friendly gesture. She limped towards the window and closed it. The night table remained empty, saved for the potted plant. Akane noticed it had been replaced.

"What happened to the potus?"

"I put you curry on it." Shampoo notified, walking back to stand next to her. "It died."

"What? Why would you do that? "

"Was wise doing. It kill very fast."

"My curry didn't kill it! Maybe you didn't water it or something!"

"No curry. Poison. You should sell. Get much money."

Akane growled, tired of being mocked and looked down upon. She had done that stupid curry to make her feel better. So what if her cooking tasted a little weird sometimes. It was the gesture that counted.

Shampoo stared vapidly at her.

"You leave now? Ranma come and you here make visit very awkward."

"What makes you think he's coming anyway?"

"Is last day at Hospital. He come!"

Akane was dragged outside even as she tried to reason with the Amazon. The door was slammed shut inches away from her nose. How clueless could someone get? Ranma had not come. He had not called her. It was obvious he didn't care…

* * *

><p>Ranma walked by Akane on their way to the Nekohanten. He wasn't sure why it was so important to her that he visited Shampoo. She wasn't even at the Hospital anymore, so why bother? But at least he would be able to eat something at the Amazon's place. It was that day of the month in which Akane woke up with the need to torture the world with her cooking. He just hoped Shampoo didn't touch the cookies she was bringing.<p>

The restaurant was, as he had suspected, empty. As Akane fumed, Ranma walked into the alley next to the Neko Hanten. At the end there was a small passage, and those with the courage to flatten themselves against the dark walls and walk through into the streets on the other side, would reach a back-door. Ranma knocked. As they waited he noticed Akane was staring accusingly at him.

"What?"

"How did you know about this door?"

"It isn't hidden..."

"You've being here before."

"So?"

"Have no you no shame?"

The door opened before Ranma could answer. The same sad-looking man Akane had seen before poked his unhappy face outside. He pointed an ominous finger at the Tendo girl's face.

"You stay away from Shampoo."

His head disappeared back into the house. Akane stuck her feet in the way before he could slam the door shut on their faces. She asked sweetly if Shampoo was home. The man shifted uncomfortably, glancing back and forth between her and Ranma. He turned and howled the Amazon's name. Then he punched Ranma sharply on the face.

The boy's head snapped back from the blow. He cradled his injured nose and glared at the little bastard, demanding an explanation. His attacker was shoved face-first into the ground from behind before he could say anything. Shampoo didn't seem to hear his pained cries as she stood on his spine to hug Ranma.

"Airen!" She chirped happily. "Wo Ai Ni!"

Ranma shuddered slightly when her soft cold nose rubbed on his neck. It tickled He tried to push her back but it was useless. He had always being a bit rough in hopes it would dissuade the Amazon from hugging him. Shampoo had progressively applied more force to each glomp instead. It became impossible to dislodge her without hurting something.

Akane was burning next to him…literally. Her chi wavered around her body like blue flames. Ranma was a bit alarmed at first but Akane didn't hit him. She simply shoved them both hard against the door frame so she could walk into the house first...and over the old man sprawled at their feet.

They sat at the table in the living room. The place had a rather exotic air to it and even though nothing looked ostentatious, the furniture and all the ornaments they sported looked expensive and classy. Three things stood out from the rest. Two of them seemed to be jewels: a green dragon that stood on top of the TV and a red phoenix that stood near the phone. There was also a snarling tiger standing in a bookshelf at her right. This one didn't look like an oversized emerald or ruby. It was the weirdest sword blade Akane had ever seen.

"No food!" The small little man barked suddenly, startling Akane out of her thoughts. "No food for you!"

Ranma stared quizzically at him.

"What's your problem?"

"Father no like you. He think you is lady-killer and pervert. He forget place."

Shampoo's expression never changed. She looked at the man with the usual clueless expression she always wore. He trembled under her gaze. She told him calmly to bring food and tea to her husband. He stood and shuffled silently to the kitchen.

Ranma was scowling.

"Why'd he think that? What did'ya tell him?"

"Maybe he just knows you…" Akane suggested.

"Is stupid Mousse what tells." Shampoo said. "But never mind stupid father and stupid Mousse. You take Shampoo on date today!"

"Got things to do, sorry."

"Oh… We do faster together!"

"It's homework. I gotta do it on my own."

Shampoo's father wandered back after a few minutes with a tray on his hands. He was carrying on it pork-buns and cups of steaming tea. He set it on the table and settled next to his daughter. He walked as if a great weight had settled on his small shoulders. He looked angry. Akane related...

Ranma's apathy towards Shampoo had disappeared. He looked really excited as he held a pencil in one hand and his math-book on the other. He was showing Shampoo which exercises he needed done by Monday.

"Aren't you supposed to do them on your own?" Akane growled at him.

"No!" Shampoo snatched the book from his hands as if she was afraid he would take it away. "I do homework and we has date!"

"Really?"

Ranma leaned forward, holding a finger up to make a clarification.

"_If_ I get an A+."

Shampoo leaned over.

"B."

"A."

"Deal!"

Akane saw red. She slammed her elbow into his skull. The huge smile on Ranma's face did not waver. He could enjoy the weekend to its fullest and there would be no negative academic consequences whatsoever. He grabbed a pork-bun and ate it.

"Want come fair today?"

"Next Saturday, Shampoo." He grumbled, annoyed by her insistence. "_If_ I get an A."

"You want _me_ to go?"

Ranma's eyes snapped open. Shampoo had a ticket on her hand and a friendly smile on her face…directed at Akane. He made a double take. She wasn't snickering. She wasn't sneering. She was being….friendly. To Akane. He swallowed his tea in one mighty gulp to pass the food.

"Yes. Has ticket for two."

"What do you want, Shampoo?" Ranma asked, glaring at her

The Amazon looked surprised by the question.

"Use ticket. Dr Tofu give. It due today. You no want come. But maybe Akane want. We go together. It ticket for two."

Ranma's eyes narrowed.

"Why'd you want to go with Akane?"

"What you mean?"

"Yes Ranma, what do you mean?" .

Ranma flinched a little and turned to Akane. She was glaring at him. He tried to explain what he meant, but for some reason his arguments only angered the girl even more. He didn't understand why. They sounded fine on his head and he was just being honest. But when Akane started insulting him, he stopped caring about his argument and insulted her back. He hated it when she insulted him for no reason.

Akane finally stood up and sniffed disdainfully.

"You're a self-centered idiot. You just can't stand the fact that we're going to have fun without you."

"Oh yeah?" Ranma jumped to his feet. He pulled the corners of his mouth widely apart with two fingers so his tongue could snake freely out. "Well, who cares what happens to an uncute-tomboy like ya, anyway!"

"Then stay out of my way!"

Ranma dodged a punch aimed to his head and side-stepped to avoid a kick to his liver. He danced around Akane to reach the corridor and then marched resolutely to the door. Akane followed him in a storm of kicks and punches that never connected with their mark. They reached the streets and Ranma took some satisfaction over the fact that it was him walking out on them. He ignored Akane's angry bellowing and rounded the corner.

* * *

><p>The ride to the fair was a little awkward for Akane. The few questions she asked in an attempt to start a conversation were quickly dispatched with short, dry answers. Shampoo didn't seem interested on sharing details about her homeland or family. Only when she mentioned Ranma, words would pour freely out of the Amazon's mouth. Annoyed by her declarations of undying love, Akane tried to change the subject each time. The conversation would then drift into an uncomfortable silence yet again.<p>

They reached the fair. Shampoo left the bike chained in the parking lot and suddenly made a question of her own. It wasn't about Akane's family or the way she was raised or her taste in music. She asked the most invasive question she could have ever made.

"Why you fight Ranma all time if you like him?"

The young Tendo blushed and stammered. They fought because he was a loud-mouthed jerk. It wasn't her fault. Shampoo stopped walking abruptly and stared at her.

"Akane, we need take Ukyo and Kodachi out of way."

"What…do you mean; take them out of the way?"

Shampoo didn't answer and started walking again to the fair's entrance. Akane insisted, but she was ignored. The Amazon surveyed their surroundings like a stalking tiger until her eyes fixed on the rickety wheel. Akane glanced at it. There was a long line of people waiting for their turn.

"Let go Arcade."

Akane tried once again to start a normal conversation on the way to the boisterous room. She asked Shampoo why all of the Amazons seemed to call each other 'sister' even when they were not related.

Shampoo hesitated a bit but explained to her the intricate Clan System in which the Joketsuzoku society was divided. As it turned out, not all of them were warriors. Most villagers were farmers or herbalists or merchants or craftsmen. Only a selected group of babies were taken under the tutelage of the warrior Elders upon birth. They began training when they reached their first year and dedicated their lives to the study and practice of the Art of War. Few babies or children survived, but those who did and reached their 10th birthday were awarded with the honor of becoming part of an exclusive unique family: the upper class of the Joketsuzoku tribe, the finest warriors China had ever given birth to.

"Shampoo Champion of Joketsuzoku." The Amazon stated proudly. " Finest warrior of finest warriors."

"Is that why you don't like Mousse?" Akane asked, awed by the story and a bit perturbed by some of it. "He's like a brother to you?"

Shampoo snorted contemptuously. Mousse was born with deficient eye-sight. He wasn't fit to be an upper class Joketsuzoku warrior. Besides, his parents were farmers. They minded the fields and the cattle. They knew nothing about war and battles. He was meant to be just like them. But faith had played a trick on them both.

There had been a celebration at the Village. Children of all classes would run together in an uncoordinated mass of giggles and mischief. Shampoo had made the mistake of befriending Mousse that day. A few weeks later he and his parents had returned to the center of the Village to present some pigs on the market and upon seeing her, Mousse had declared he'd marry her someday. Shampoo had to beat him up. Cologne had explained later to a weeping Mousse the Laws regarding Marriage. He had proclaimed in front of hundreds that he would become a warrior, just for her.

"How romantic!" Akane sighed. "He loves you so much!"

"He challenge time and time again. He always loose." Shampoo grumbled. "He no give up!"

"Maybe he doesn't want to hurt you."

"Then he no strong enough. No good enough."

"But Shampoo…"

"You like Mousse, you date Mousse. Then Shampoo and Ranma together and all is happy."

They were out of coins already and it was getting dark. As they walked out of the Arcades, Akane shared things about her own family and their line. She explained to Shampoo the inner peace one sought to find in the practice of the Martial Arts. . It was not an art of war but of peace. It was all about finding the perfect balance between one's physical and inner strengths. At that point, Shampoo started laughing.

"Father bad teacher or you bad student."

"It isn't easy, okay!"

"Is time. Come!"

Shampoo ran towards the rickety wheel. Its merry lights were off. It had been shut down for the day. Most of the main events already were. The few people that remained on the fair were walking to the Exit. Akane ran after her. Whatever she was going to do would surely land her into trouble. Shampoo stopped at the foot of the monstrous machine.

"What are you doing?"

"I want show you something."

The Amazon grabbed her hand…and jumped. Akane was hauled high in the air. She screamed in outrage and a hand latched into her mouth. She started struggling and kicking frantically. Shampoo landed on one of the support wires of the structure and jumped higher into the next. Akane stiffened immediately as the height increased and the ground and everything on it grew smaller. If Shampoo lost her footing, the fall would hurt…or kill them both. And the maniac wasn't even using her hands to steady herself!

The horrific journey was suddenly over. The wind was howling madly around their ears, whipping their hair violently. The world under them was an indistinguishable mass of lights and darkness. Shampoo released her and Akane dropped into the wire and held tightly into it with both arms and legs. Her still healing arm burnt in protest. Shampoo looked down at her. She stood on the wire like it was nothing. As if one single mistake wouldn't result in a fatal 600 feet drop. The pain and the fear were soon smothered by the adrenaline rushing through her blood and the burning rage slowly building in her chest. It was all released into one explosive scream.

"ARE YOU INSANE? WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU! GET US DOWN!"

Shampoo knelt in front of her. The lights from the fair bellow reflected on her huge dark eyes with an almost diabolic gleam. She outstretched her arm and pointed at something in the distance. It was hard to place what she was pointing at at first. It was lost among the hundreds of tiny things that could be seeing from up there. But then, it became evident.

It was a huge fortress. It covered an entire block. Within its walls there was a garden and in the garden ran a small artificial stream. Joining the two shores was a wooden bridge. Someone was standing on it. To Akane the person was merely a black dot in the distance. She would have never been able to guess who it was if it wasn't for the red thin line orbiting her. The huge green thing that jumped in and out of the water was another clue.

Tatewaki Kodachi was feeding the pet crocodile of the Kuno Estate some poor unfortunate animal.

Shampoo brushed her shoulder and pointed in another direction. This one was closer, just a few blocks away from the fair's enclosing walls. It was still too far to make out any details but Akane was able to recognize the place for its location. It wasn't hard to guess who the small blue dot that emerged from the restaurant was-

"Is very far." Shampoo said, making Akane jumped a little. "Normal bow no can shoot arrow so far. But Great-grandmother give me Xue Dong. Arrow what shoot from Xue Dong never stop if no hit prey."

Akane glared at her. This was the vilest joke anyone had ever played on her. A sick disgusting joke…

Shampoo wasn't smiling. Her face was set in a cold, almost cruel expression. There was something shinning on her hands: a silver bow and two thin black arrows.

"I no can kill Ukyo." Shampoo continued in a horrible unrecognizable voice. "We friend too. You kill. I kill Kodachi."

Akane sat on the wire. She stared at the weapon as if it were a hissing poisonous snake dancing right in front of her face. It started dawning on her that this wasn't a joke. She took the bow. Shampoo offered her an arrow but instead of taking it, Akane snapped the shaft of the bow in half and threw the pieces at her face. They bounced harmlessly on her head and fell over the sides.

"You can't kill people!" Akane shouted. "And your friend! Ukyo's your friend and you'd do this to her? What's the matter with you?"

"You break Xue Dong, stupid! It borrow from Great-Grandmother! You pay for! It expensive! No made in China!"

"Hey! You trash my home all the time and we never complain!"

Shampoo sneered and rose to her feet. She moved on the wire with the ease of a cat. Akane swallowed and tried to stand as well but her legs were trembling too badly. She was forced to hold herself on both her hands and knees. She glared up at the Amazon defiantly. Shampoo sneered.

"I stronger. You ask? No get. I ask, I _better_ get."

Akane gritted her teeth as she managed to stand. The wind almost pushed her over. She urged herself not to look down. She had good balance. She could do this. Shampoo stepped closer.

"I saved your life, Shampoo. That's what friends do. They watch each other's back. They help each other!"

"Pay for bow."

"You wanted to kill people with it!"

"Fine. I tire of stupid talking. I buy new bow. You have fun climbing down."

"What?"

"Zai Chien!"

"Wait!"

The Amazon jumped down. Akane dropped back to her knees in fright as she looked at Shampoo jumping down from one wire to the other. After a while, she could no longer see her. She moaned in despair. After a moment of pondering on all the possibilities left to her, Akane slowly crawled back to her feet. She stood straight for a moment and turned to the side to face a wire right next to her. If Shampoo could do it, then so could she...

One mistake, one foot an inch out of the mark and she was dead. It was strangely…exhilarating. She stepped back a bit to add momentum to her jump and her left foot slipped over the round edge of the wire. Akane screamed in terror, her arms flailing wildly as she tried to recover her footing. And failed…

Akane howled her lungs out as her perch grew rapidly out of her reach. The air had become solid. It seemed to resist the descent of her body and constricted her head and chest mercilessly as gravity forced her down. It seemed it was trying to get into her brain through her ears. It burnt her lungs. She couldn't even breathe. She looked down at the ground. The sight of it terrified her. It was a monster, growing gigantic, waiting patiently for her to slam into its broad back. Her eyes closed tightly, still screaming, unable to control herself. Her whole life flashed in front of her eyes. Only thoughts of regret and self-recriminations filled her thoughts on the last seconds. Then she thought about Ranma and of how much she loved him…

Suddenly, the wind stopped hurting and roaring madly in her ears. It was again a gentle breeze. It was strange. The fall had stopped but she wasn't in pain. Darkness did not claim her. Someone was talking softly and Akane's eyes snapped open. She was leaning on someone. Two arms were holding her up. She looked up and found a loved face. Tears of relief clouded her vision.

"Ranma…"

"You're an idiot!"

She blinked.

"What?"

"I told ya not to hang out with her!" He snarled and placed her gently back on her feet. But there was nothing gentle about his eyes or his expression. "You aint like her, Akane!"

Akane was angered because he was screaming at her in front of some people but she was too shaken to react properly. Her body was trembling violently. The ground was still a frightening sight. She leaned on him and closed her eyes. Ranma stopped screaming. He sighed and picked her up. It was time to go home.


	3. Cultural missunderstandings

The antidote for fifty enemies is one friend. ~Aristotle

* * *

><p>Akane stared at the ceiling. It was hard to sleep. Shampoo's cruel eyes and the tone of finality of her words still hunted her:<p>

"_You kill Ukyo. I kill Kodachi…"_

Since Ranma had come crushing into her life like a rocket, Akane had heard dead threats often. Sometimes they were directed at him, sometimes they were directed at her. Sometimes Ranma even threatened someone else. In that Rickety Wheel, she understood how dead threats had lost their meaning. Shampoo's homicidal intentions were sincere. There was someone out there that wanted her and people she cared about dead.

A knock on the door startled her. She sat on the bed as Nabiki entered her room.

"Hey. Still bumped about yesterday?"

"A little. Is daddy still mad?"

"Yeah. So she tried to kill you again..."

Akane sighed and looked away. It had been humiliating to crawl back home in tears after ignoring everyone's warnings. She was sick of the bitter taste of failure.

Nabiki sat on the bed next to her.

"You saved her life, Akane. She can't kill you."

"Who says she can't?"

"The Law." She produced a small book with delicate Chinese writings on its front cover. She had a nasty smirk plastered on her face. "50,000 yen…"

"That isn't yours!" Akane snapped and snatched the book from her hands. "You can't just sell it!"

"40,000 yen…"

Nabiki left after a while with 20,000 yen in her pocket.

Akane stared at the book's cover. The Laws of the Joketsuzoku. She opened it and eyed its pages, wondering if she should even bother to read it. She had buy it...

"In the event a Joketsuzoku is defeated by a female outsider, she must give her the kiss of death and hunt her down to the ends of earth until one of them is dead…" Akane rolled her eyes. "In the event a Joketsuzoku is defeated by a male outsider, she must give him the Kiss of Marriage and produce with him healthy children for the Tribe…Over my dead body…"

In the Event a Joketsuzoku is injured intentionally by an outsider, she must kill the outsider in the act.

In the Event a Joketsuzoku is scorned by an outsider, she must kill the outsider.

In the Event a Joketsuzoku shares a few drinks with an outsider, the bill's on the outsider."

Akane scowled at the book on her hands. She flipped through it furiously. What kind of barbarians were they dealing with? Did Cologne really supported this? She wondered if this was Nabiki's idea of a joke or if she was just stupid. Did she really think reading this would make her feel better? Before she could jump to her feet and ran to her sister's room demanding an explanation, something caught her eye. One of the paragraphs on that disgusting text was circled with red marker.

"In the Event an Outsider saves a Joketsuzoku from injury or death said Outsider must be protected and honored by all Joketsuzoku."

Akane re-read the words over and over again, a wicked smile slowly growing on her face.

* * *

><p>Akane walked around the restaurant to the back-door. She knocked and it opened after a few minutes. The angry bitter face of Shampoo's father poked out.<p>

"What?"

"Good Afternoon." Akane smiled at him. "Is Shampoo home?"

"No. Go away."

He tried to shut the door on her face and Akane stuck a foot in front of it. It startled the man. The sight of the book in her hand was enough to prevent any more attempts at dismissing her so quickly. He stepped aside to let her in. He led her to the living room where Shampoo was.

A math book lay in front of the Amazon in the small tea table. A worn and torn book Akane knew too well. Ranma usually slept on it or used it as a weapon against poor P-chan. Shampoo's pencil danced on its pages as the exercises he had asked her to do for him were dutifully completed. For some reason, the fact Ranma was cheating and using another person didn't angered Akane as much as the merry song Shampoo was humming to herself as she did his homework.

"Akane be here."

Shampoo turned from the book. She looked slightly surprised at seeing her.

"Aiya. Ranma save butt again, neh?"

"You violated your Laws, Shampoo."

"What you talking?"

"You tried to kill me."

"So?"

Akane pulled out the book and opened it on the marked page. She cleared her throat and read in a clear voice.

"Article 5° of section 4: In the Event an outsider saves a Joketsuzoku from injury or death, said outsider must be protected and honored by all Joketsuzoku."

Shampoo snatched the book from her with one hand and grabbed her throat with the other. Akane gagged, stunned by the attack and the hatred burning in the other girl's eyes. The small gloomy man was suddenly between them. He placed a hand on his daughter's shoulder. Shampoo glared at him but released Akane and walked away.

Akane rubbed her throat. She had not expected such violence. It should have been fun to finally have Shampoo at a disadvantage. As she watched the Amazon placing the book carefully into a drawer, she realized that, as ridiculous and outdated those Laws were to her, they were something serious to these people. She felt a little ashamed of herself.

"I didn't save you because I had to. I didn't want to see you hurt." She said. "Does that mean nothing to you?"

"We ally in battle." The Amazon grumbled and sat back down in front of the math book. "Shampoo do for you same thing."

"And I was thankful each time..."

That small sense of satisfaction that had nested on her chest upon the discovery of that Law returned suddenly. The expression on Shampoo's face was too precious for words. She had shut her up. This one time, Akane had managed to outmaneuver her.

"I have movie tickets." She stated calmly. "I'll pick you up at 19."

"What?"

"We'll watch a movie like normal people. And eat something somewhere."

Shampoo blinked at that. That burning rage seemed to lift off of her like a blanket. It was replaced by confusion and curiosity.

"But that what couple do. You is really pervert."

"NO, I'M NOT!"

* * *

><p>Yuko and Sayuri were a little nervous. Aside from Ukyo and Ranma, all of Akane's martial artist friends were a bunch of moody violent strangers. They were armed to the teeth and could break walls with their bare hands. The prospect of going out at night with one of them was a little frightening.<p>

"Why are you trying to be friends with her?" Yuko asked suddenly. "Didn't she try to kill you yesterday?"

"Who told you that?"

"Nabiki."

Akane struggled to keep the placid smile on her face.

"I don't think she was serious. We've fought together. We're friends."

"Friends don't try to steal each other's fiancees." Sayuri noted reprovingly.

"Or try to throw you off the Rickety Wheel."

Akane stopped dead on her tracks.

"Who told you that?"

"Nabiki..."

They answered as if gossiping about her with her sister wasn't wrong. So much for codes in female relationships. She was starting to believe friendship among women just wasn't possible. They reached the Nekohanten. With a resigned sigh, Akane knocked on the door and waited. It slid open and Shampoo stepped out.

"Ni Hao, Akane!"

Akane was taken aback by the warm welcoming. Last time they talked, the Amazon was both disgusted and infuriated with her. The agreement of going out as friends was reached with threats and leaning heavenly on what the Law dictated. Either she had realized going out with her wasn't the end of the world or the conniving bitch was planning something. She was not going to catch her by surprise a second time.

She smiled warmly back.

"Hi! This is Yuko and Sayuri. They're friends from School. Yuko, Sayuri, this is Shampoo."

"Hi."

"Ni Hao. You come by restaurant in two month. Great discount with reopening!" The Amazon handed each girl a menu.

"Thanks!"

This time the smile Akane had wasn't a forced. Things were starting out nicely. Maybe, if she was just a little careful, the night would be a success.

* * *

><p>Ranma rubbed his ear furiously with the towel, trying to get the water out. It pissed him off when his pops threw him head first into the pond. Water would always get into his nose and ears. Stupid old man….<p>

He sat at the table without a word and picked his chopsticks and bowl. After thanking Kasumi and Soun for the food, he started eating. After a few minutes he realized P-chan sat in a cushion alone.

"Where's Akane?"

"Oh, since its Friday, she went out with her friends." Kasumi informed him. "You should ask her out sometime. I'm starting to worry about you two."

Ranma choked on the rice. Kasumi was probably the most gentle person he had ever met, but sometimes she spoke a little too much. Nabiki and Soun shared their opinion on the matter and Ryoga's nostrils flared in anger. Just about that moment, Genma walked back from the bathroom as a panda. He glared at him and ate his food quickly.

* * *

><p>"I heard it's the most romantic movie of the year!" Sayuri squeaked.<p>

"And Brandon Michael Vayda is on it!" Yuko added. "What do you think, Akane?"

She thought it was a lame movie and a lamer actor...but going to the movies with Sayuri and Yuko implied watching some sort of romantic-cliché. It was strange, but she had enjoyed that kind of movies before. Maybe now she had enough drama in her own love life.

"Why watch that?" Shampoo asked, eyeing them warily. "Shampoo be straight"

"I told you we are not lesbians!" Akane snapped sharply at her, startling the other two a little. "It's just a movie...I...well; this's your first time with us...Maybe we could let her choose?"

"Uh...okay..."

"We go eat then do different thing. Movie dark place to make out, no good for going outs with other girls."

The Amazon walked away from the counter. Akane gaped at her a moment. She remembered Ranma had taken the girl to the movies once. Seething with anger, she hurried after her. Yuko and Sayuri followed.

"Yey!"

"Alright!"

Yuko jumped up and down next to Shampoo. They stopped only a moment to slap each other's hands. Sayuri and Akane had much the opposite reaction. They were defeated again at the arcades. A defeat made much worst for the huge amount of witnesses that had crowed around them to watch the fight.

"I never played before." Sayuri grumbled. "It isn't fair."

"Hey, I never played either!" Yuko said, stopping a moment.

"She obviously did."

"Akane did too. She suck anyway!"

"I played once!"

"Sore looser!"

"AM NOT!"

After what seemed like an eternity of fooling around in the Arcades, the girls stopped at an ice-cream shop for a nice dessert. Sayuri sulked in her seat. It was the worst night ever. She detested video games. They were for boys. _Little_ boys. And she realized she didn't like Shampoo all that much either. She was an arrogant, petulant bimbo. She couldn't understand why Akane was trying so hard to be nice with her. The hussy was trying to steal Ranma from her!

The Amazon started laughing suddenly. Akane's ice-cream had melted and fell between her breasts. Of course she would laugh at her. What a pest!

"Let's clean it up." She said, helping Akane clean the melting cream with a napkin. "Let's go the bathroom before it dries."

"Yeah..." Akane laughed. "Shouldn't have sit under the air-conditioner."

Sayuri waited a moment for Yuko but the girl was laughing with Shampoo. She glared at her, before following Akane to the bathroom.

Yuko beamed. She was having such an awesome time! Shampoo didn't live up to her rotten reputation. She was weird but funny. She wasn't intimidating like the others. Much the contrary. Her voice and gestures and cloths were endearing. And what was even better, it seemed Shampoo liked her too! Maybe she could be friends with one the Terrible Eight! It would mean such a burst of popularity!

"Akane's so clumsy sometimes!" Yuko said. "She fell into the sewers once."

"I eating!" Shampoo snapped. "No talk sewers!"

"Ups, sorry. I've never played video games before. Well, when I was little but…You and Akane really fight it out in there, uh?"

Shampoo shrugged and bit the cone of her ice-cream. Yuko waited till she swallowed, hoping for a response to that commen. The Amazon remained silent.

"You're from China, right? I've never been in China. How's it like?"

"We people like you."

"Yeah, I know but...I don't know. Different cultures and stuff. And China's such a big country! Is it true you're from Tibet?"

"I Nǚjié Zú."

"Where is that?"

"In China."

Shampoo's face still had that somewhat dumb expression but there was something weird about the way she was looking at her. Something about her eyes and the tone of her voice was not right. It made Yuko really nervous. Akane and Sayuri returned a few minutes later and found them sitting next to each other in complete silence.


	4. Weirdness

Ranma was all smiles as they walked back from School. After an important project, it was strange to see him happy. He wasn't the best of students. Akane knew it wasn't for lack of intelligence. School just wasn't something he cared about. He was always doing as little as possible to pass the semester. That's why the teacher was suspicious when the boy got the highest score in Math class. He was unable to make a case of it, however. No other student had done all the book exercises correctly. But Akane knew what was behind that perfect score...and the prize Ranma would have to pay for it.

"So then…" She said coldly, walking next to him. "Where will you take her?"

"Huh?"

The jingling of a small bell floated in the air before blinding pain spread through Ranma's skull and face like fire. The front wheel of a bike had slammed on his head and forced him face-first into the pavement. A soft moan was the only indication that confirmed the hit didn't kill him.

"Ni Hao, Ranma!"

Ranma jumped back to his feet and turned, snarling, on his attacker. She was not impress. Shampoo leaned over the handlers of the Bicycle of Doom, smiling warmly.

"You have the home work back today, yes? What score?"

The boy flinched, suddenly caught between a sword and a really hard place…or rather between two violent women. He glanced at Akane to see how she would handle the situation...and found that she wasn't next to him anymore. The girl was rounding down the corner, leaving him and Shampoo alone in the middle of the street.

The distraction cost him. The math book was promptly snatched from his bag. By the time it was recovered, Shampoo had seen the results. The expression on her face sent shudders down his spine.

"You take Shampoo on a date now."

"..."

It was dark by the time Ranma managed to lose her. And by then, he wasn't in a good mood anymore. He had saved his semester and now it was time to pay. It shouldn't be such a big deal, but the Tendo Family would make a scene. And Akane….He could live with the tantrums and brutal punches, but her pain was a lot harder to take as of late. The previous meaningless dates he had with Shampoo hurt her deeply. If she trusted him a little more, they wouldn't have. Maybe he could ditch Shampoo. She wasn't so emotional and rejection didn't affect her as badly as it did Akane.

When he made it home, the table was already served and everyone was having dinner. Ranma sat down and thanked Soun and Kasumi for the food, as always. Akane seemed fine. She usually did, right before lashing out with hellish fury. That _pig_ was resting on her lap. Ryoga snorted angrily at him. He scowled back. If he weren't so afraid of cats he...

"Hey, Ranma-kun." He cringed at the sound of Nabiki's voice. "I've heard you and Shampoo are going on a date again."

Bitch!

"Huh!?" Mr Tendo snapped. "What's the meaning of this?"

The giant Panda sitting at the table popped a sign with something written on it. Ranma didn't bother to read it.

"I ain't dating Shampoo."

Akane turned to look at him.

"You promised her you would!"

"It ain't a fight 'r anything like that!"

"So? You made a promise!"

Akane blushed when all eyes fixed on her. Even P-chan looked startled at her reaction.

"I'd have thought Ranma not taking Shampoo to a third date would make you happy, Akane." Kasumi gave the finishing blow. "He has never taken you on a date."

"BUT I AIN'T TAKING SHAMPOO NOWHERE!"

Akane stood and left the room without a word. Her retreat silenced the family.

* * *

><p>She was leaning over the window, gazing at the stars. She always did after an argument. It was endearing. Ranma landed neatly next to her, securing his position over the blue tiles with deft fingers. She didn't even look at him.<p>

"Why're you mad?"

"A Martial Artist shouldn't break his word like that."

She turned and tried to close the window on his face. Ranma slipped inside before she could.

"Fine. Then I date her. You gonna be okay?"

"As if I care!"

"All we do's stuff alone. There's no reason to get sad."

"Oh! Just doing stuff alone? What a relief! And who says I even care!"

"I know you care." He grumbled. "What'd you wanme do?"

His willingness to work things out seemed to appease her. They were quiet for a moment. Then Akane seemed to reach a decision. Instead of lashing out at him or bursting into tears, she smiled mischievously.

"I'll take care of it."

"What…'re ya gonna do?"

"Just trust me."

* * *

><p>Shampoo was humming a merry song as she swept the sidewalk. Even to complete such a mundane task, the Amazon was dressed in silk. Her blouse and pants were the color of the sky, a shade of light blue that made a wonderful contrast with her hair. She was beautiful and a familiar twinge of jealousy twisted Akane's heart.<p>

"Hi, Shampoo..."

"Ni Hao, Akane. What want?"

"I wanted to talk to you about that date Ranma owes you."

"Three date with Shampoo." Shampoo purred. "No date with all of you."

Akane's left eyebrow twitched at that. It'd have been sweet to point out Ranma and her would be married if it wasn't for the intervention of certain hussy and all the other cooks in town. But it would be unfair to drop two bombs at the same time. Smiling sweetly, Akane delivered her message.

"We'll go together to the Zoo on Saturday. Won't that be fun?"

"Two is couple, Akane. Three is couple and one person what should be other place."

"We'll pick you up at 10."

Shampoo protested immediately, but between one word and the other, Akane apologized and walked away. The Amazon paled at the insult. The broom snapped in half under her fingers. She felt an almost overwhelming urge to stab the girl in the back with the pieces but it was quickly controlled. Akane had saved her life and the Law was bonding. Or it had become when Great-grandmother found out about the stupid incident. She could do nothing but honor the request.

With a resigned sigh, Shampoo dropped the broom's pieces on the garbage can and entered the restaurant in search of a replacement.

* * *

><p>Ukyo's hands glided over the grill, turning the okonomiyakis and bathing the fried sides with warm sauce. Ranma's stomach roared in anticipation, the delicious smell floating in the air enough to stir his appetite. Akane was a bit more controlled but her mouth watered just as much. The wait was finally over and the Chef flipped the preparations into their plates.<p>

"There you go! Two shrimp okonomiyaki with special sauce!"

"Ukyo, are you free Saturday?"Akane asked

"Have to work, why?"

"Ranma, Shampoo and I're going to the Zoo. I was hoping you'd come."

Ranma scowled and leaned over to whisper.

"Akane, you didn't ask Kodachi, did ya?"

"No…" She had tried but it was better not to tell. "It's a pity you can't come."

Ukyo didn't share the sentiment. She looked rather angry.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing. I think it'll be nice."

"Right...Listen, Akane, I like you and that's why I'll tell you this." Ukyo stopped working over the grill and pointed a small spatula at Akane. "Shampoo's a backstabber. Don´t hang out with her."

"Backstabber?" Ranma mumbled between mouthfuls of okonomiyaki. "Once's gotta be stupid notta see it comin'."

"She doesn't know any better!" Akane said. "You saw her sisters, Ranma. She's what she was raised to be."

"Yeah, well, so am I." Ukyo threw a plate, saddled with an okonomiyaki, to a far table. The customer, used to the service, caught it deftly in the air and sat down to eat. "You don't see me complainin'."

"It's different. They think killing people is okay! How's she going to realize its wrong if we don't show her?"

Ranma and Ukyo looked at her as if she'd grown a second head. Akane blushed.

"What?"

"She isn't a child, Akane." Ukyo told her.

"You're one 'f the idiots that won't see it comin'" Ranma grumbled. Akane clubbed him in the head.

"Who're you callin' an idiot?! And I don't think she's a child! What do you know, anyway?!"

She rose from her stool and stormed out of the restaurant. Ranma was about to follow but the sweet scent of a just-made okomiyaki, now resting on his plate, forced a delay. Akane needed to cool off anyway and it's been a while since he could hang out with Ukyo alone.

"This's great." He told her-

She winked at him,

"Of course it is."

* * *

><p>It was a wonderful day. There were no clouds in the sky and a gentle breeze kept the heat of a burning sun at bay. There were lots of people on the street and the sound of laughter filled the air. Ranma had the sensitive idea of staying in female form during this 'date'. Shampoo didn't molest him with as much enthusiasm when he had boobs and was a little shorter than her. So the walk to the Zoo was peaceful and uneventful. As they waited in line to get their tickets, Shampoo produced a kettle out of nowhere and tried, for the fifth time, to pour its hot contents on Ranma's head. He was faster, however, and managed to avoid it.<p>

"That last." She lamented, dropping the now empty kettle on the ground. "Why you want stay girl, Ranma?"

"Feel like it. Why the Zoo, anyway? Can't we go somewhere else?"

"Three tiger cubs born last week." Akane informed them with a smile. "I want to see them."

"Tiger sacred animal. No should lock up. Zoo owner go very bad place when die."

Akane was about to comment on that when a familiar voice called their name in the distance. Ukyo was approaching and she was wearing her usual outfit. Akane frowned at the sight of the battle spatula strapped to her back. This was supposed to be a friendly meeting

"Ucchan." Ranma greeted her. "Thought you hadta work?"

"Yeah, well, work aint everythin' and..."

Shampoo jumped between them.

"This date! Go away!"

"It's a what?!"

"I invited her, Shampoo." Akane hurried to stand between them, hoping to prevent the usual skirmish. "You said she was your friend too."

"Friend in battle!" The Amazon stamped her foot in frustration. "In fight for Ranma!"

"That's ally, you dumbass!" Ukyo shoved her back and stood by Ranma's side. Both girls locked angry gazes and growled at each other.

"Told ya this was a bad idea..."

The wonderfulness of the day had lasted two hours. Shampoo, who had been mostly repelled by Ranma's female form, started hanging all over her. Ukyo, angered by the open displays of affection, tried her hardest to imitate them. They kept pulling Ranma back and forth . All heads turned their way wherever they went. Men's noses bleed, women whispered in outrage and children laughed. Akane was cursing: herself for the 'brilliant' idea; Shampoo and Ukyo for bickering; and Ranma for not putting a stop to it.

They visited the cougars and elephants, the kangaroos and koalas. The presence of such exotic animals soon swayed Shampoo's attention from Ranma. Without the need to reassert her place, Ukyo was able to relax and dropped, with a sigh of relief, the unsettling physical harassment. Once the girls calmed down, both Ranma and Akane could lower their guard. After a bird-show, where zoo-keepers demonstrated the hunting abilities of hawks and eagles and just how smart and funny parrots of all kinds could be- the four companions felt happy and relaxed.

By noon, they decided to stop for lunch. There was a brief argument about who would eat whose food. Ranma had another 'stroke of inspiration' and stated she would eat it all. She was starving, anyway. Ukyo offered an okonomiyaki to Shampoo and the Amazon offered a pork-bun in turn. Akane smiled. It was turning out to be a great idea after all.

Lunch was over and they sat in the sun for a while, nursing cups of steaming tea. They started talking, first of how wonderful the weather was, then of some school work left to do for next week. Inevitably, they reached more personal matters.

"My great-grandfather received the recipes from his own great-grandfather, discipline of the first okonomiyaki Chef" Ukyo told them, setting dirty plates in a bag. "And my grandfather passed it to my father and he passed it on to me."

"First female." Shampoo noted.

"First, but not last." Ukyo had hidden her femaleness most of her life in shame but she started to accept it proudly after certain boy called her 'cute'. Blushing at the memory, she placed her hand over Ranma's and smiled."I'll pass the legacy of my family to our daughter, Ranchan!"

Ranma, used to having women latch into her, ignored the loving gesture and continued drinking the tea...until Shampoo grabbed his other arm roughly. The hot liquid spilled all over her breasts.

"Ugh! Shampoo!"

"My dad never seemed to mind we were all girls, either." Akane said. "He just needed someone to inherit the Dojo and carry on the school, didn't matter who."

"That's because he knew_ I_ was coming"

"Pity boy marry better woman and move China with her."

"Sorry, sugar, I don't like China..."

The girls bickering and the laughter of the people around them faded in the background. It had never occurred to her that the reason behind her father equanimity was Ranma's coming. He knew that, at the end, a man would be in charge. She struggled to deny it but it made too much sense. She glared at the boy that was meant to be her husband. Ranma met her glare with a small apologetic smile. The small gesture reminded her he hadn't been allowed to choose either. Their fathers made the dreadful arrangement before they were even born. Besides, things hadn't turned out so bad. She loved him and he had declared thunderously his love for her to the skies.

She smiled back and everything was good again.

"Father no matter to Shampoo." Shampoo said, digging a hand wrapped in a dishcloth between Ranma's breasts to wipe the spilled tea. The boy turned girl squealed and snatched the offending hand out. "Only Elders of Village tell what do."

"What about your mother?" Akane asked.

Shampoo seemed to consider the question. A smile signaled the reaching of a decision. She placed her tea-cup down and took both of her hands to the nape of her neck. Ranma leaned closer. It was a mystery how she could keep things there. The one time he had asked, she giggled and told him to mind his own business. When he had asked Mousse, the bastard tried to kill him. And Cologne, apparently amused, advised him to watch Akane carefully. Annoyed, Ranma didn't ask again but kept a close eye on the people who could just pop things out of nowhere. Shampoo removed the mysterious...

"Holy fuck! What the hell're ya doin' with that?"

"Is mothers!" Shampoo said, gazing lovingly at the hideous worn out skull in her hands. "You kiss, Ranma? It blessing of marriage!"

"NO WAY! Shampoo! No! Down! Sit! NOO!"

Ranma bolted and Shampoo gave chase, laughing with childlike mirth. Ukyo and Akane stared at each other for a moment, pale and shaken. After a particularly loud declaration of undying love from the Amazon, heard by everyone at the Zoo, both girls jumped to their feet and ran after the rampaging pair. The people around the park scattered like startled doves from their way. Some not fast enough.

"Shampoo!" Ukyo snarled, loosing Ranma and her rival in the crowd. "You better keep your hands off _my_ fiancée!"

"I running faster, nya nya!" Shampoo laughed in the distance. "Is all Shampoo fiancée now!"

Ranma shrieked urgently and a huge crowd of people stumbled out of her way. She cringed at the sight of what laid behind: a dead-end. She backpedalled as fast as she could, but Shampoo was already blocking the way. The skull in her outstretched hands seemed to leer at her, staring avidly with dark holes voided of eyes, its long mane dancing ghostly in an unfelt breeze. Shuddering violently in revulsion, Ranma flatted against the cursed wall blocking the way.

"No more running, yes?" Shampoo said. "You kiss now. Blessing of marriage."

The moment Shampoo was close enough Ranma jumped and flipped over her, sticking her tongue out in triumph. Laughing after a perfect landing, the redhead prepared a new jump. She froze and shrieked in horror. Ukyo was in front of her in mid-swing of her giant spatula. She looked startled at seeing her suddenly in the way, but it was too late to halt the blow. Ranma dive desperately to avoid it.

The flat end of the weapon passed whistling inches away from Shampoo's nose. The girl bared her teeth in anger and threw the skull with all her might at Ukyo's face. The Chef moved the heavy spatula with inhuman ease and managed to swat the projectile away. The skull flew across the Zoo like some hideous comet. It bounced off a tree, a passerby's head, a wall and landed safely in a baby's pushchair. The group let out a collective sigh and Shampoo hurried to fetch it…when the parents stopped cuddling and spotted the horror in the hands of their laughing child. The husband yelped and hid behind his wife. She slapped the thing away.

The skull was airborne again. It landed in the soft tongue of a yawning crocodile. The animal snapped his jaws shut and jumped startled at the sound of crushing bones. He was even more startled when one of the staring entities around his home landed next to him and forced his jaws open again.

"Aiya..."

Shampoo moaned at the sight of the scattered pieces over the reptile's mouth. Bursting into tears, the Amazon lifted the crocodile by the hind legs and shook him violently, forcing the pieces out of his mouth. She threw the stunned reptile over her shoulder and knelt, trying to discern how much of the skull could be saved.

Three huge crocodiles crawled out of the water behind her, their red eyes gleaming with avid anticipation at the sight of this unexpected prey. Ranma landed on top of one of the animals, forcing her gaping snout shut. Without loosing a beat, she kicked the other in the jaw and slammed a fist into the third's skull. Whimpering and dazed, the three animals quickly returned to the water and swan away. The boy turned girl dusted off her hands after a job well done. The crowd leaning over the railings around the cage, acclaimed the wondrous feat. Ranma grinned and waved in salute.

Shampoo's body started to emanate a bright blue light. Her long hair stood on end and waved wildly in some unfelt breeze. A feral war cry crawled out of her throat and she leaped out of the crocodile's cage.

Ukyo was leaning over the railing and she jumped back, placing the spatula in front of herself by sheer reflex. The edge of a dao bit the handle deeply and the momentum of Shampoo's charge and the brutal impact of collision forced them both to the ground. The Amazon, ignoring Akane screams, slammed her knee on the pit of Ukyo's stomatch and lend all of her weight on it, pinning her opponent to the ground.

"Hey, you threw it at me!" Ukyo panted, straining to keep the sable away from her face "Calm down!"

"I tire of you!" The Amazon snarled. "You die now!"

"Shampoo!"

Ranma's voice floated in the air. Shampoo twisted her wrist and the sable snapped the spatula's handle in half. Ukyo moved her head sharply to the side. The iron bit her cheek, and dogged deeply in the soil. The painful pressure on the pit of her stomach lifted and Akane helped her back to her feet. Ukyo felt blood cascading down her face and neck. Ranma was screaming at Shampoo, urging her to calm down and she struggled to control her own need for retaliation.

"Is no calming down! Its all gone!"

"It was a freaking skull!"

"It _mother_ skull!"

Shampoo wailed and covered her face to cry. Ranma cringed and release his hold on her wrists. He was angry, enraged even, but there was nothing he could do in the face of such naked anguish.

"It was an accident, Shampoo." Akane said, pressing the sleeve of her own sweater against Ukyo's wound. "Maybe we can fix it. We'll just…get the pieces back together."

Ranma's face darkened at the prospect of spending the rest of the afternoon picking up hundreds of bone pieces and gluing them together. Shampoo sniffed and pushed him aside. She walked towards Ukyo. The chef flinched back, but the Amazon caught her face gently with cold, wet hands and leaned forward. Ranma pushed her back, laughing awkwardly.

"Come on, Shampoo!" She whirled on him and tried to punch him off. Ranma caught her hand. His face hardened. "Ucchan's my friend, Shampoo. You saw me fight people who try to hurt my friends."

They locked gazes and held still. Backing down meant giving in. It would allow the other to cross a line- a limit- no-one should dare to cross. They were deaf to the scandalized whispering of the crowd and blind to the close presence of the other two girls. They were alone in the world, sharing a strange moment of intimacy. Ukyo and the skull were forgotten. It was a new battle, a different struggle. And, in time, one would be forced to give in...

Shampoo's eyes filled with tears.

"This horrible date. Worst Shampoo ever has."

Ranma let her go and she walked away, crying softly. The crowd hurried to clear a path for her. Akane and Ranma led Ukyo to away, trying to stop the bleeding as best as they could.

* * *

><p>It had bled a lot but the cut didn't need stitches. After it was clean and bandaged by a nurse at the Zoo, the group visited Dr Tofu. One glance and the doctor gave Ukyo a special ointment. She would have to rub it over the cut twice a day or it would leave a mark. The tone of warning was clear. Ukyo thanked the Doctor and assured him she would do as instructed.<p>

Akane and Ranma walked her home. It felt wrong to leave. Shampoo may decide to finish what she started when Ranma was not around to interfere. It would be safer to stay a little longer, at least until everyone had time to cool off.

"What, you think I can't take her?" Ukyo snapped at them. "She caught me off guard! We'll see who needs a doctor next time!"

The door slamming on their faces was their cue to leave. Akane didn't speak in the way back home. She was sure now, after seeing Ukyo's bafflement, that Shampoo had never gone that far in one of their fights before.

She glanced at Ranma. He was back to normal, walking casually over the narrow fence. It seemed the incident had not affect him. And why would it? Blood was usually spill on all of his fights and how many people had tried to slide his head off with a sharp weapon...? Was it so common it had stopped affecting her too somehow?

The Tendo household was in silence. It usually was on Saturdays. Their parents would go to a near bar to 'socialize with other men'. Nabiki was out scamming people and Happosai looting the neighborhood. Kasumi visited friends. It left them hours to be with each other, in peace.

Ranma walked to the kitchen, whistling.

"Ranma, aren't you worried about what happened?"

"You heard Doctor Tofu. It ain't gonna leave a mark."

"What if next time someone gets really hurt?"

He turned to scowl at her as he opened the fridge.

"What'd you wanme do? Tell them to take a hike? You know how they're gonna react!"

"If we're ever going to be together in peace, you'll have to tell them."

Ranma stared intently at the food. He finally picked the left-overs of the previous night, closed the fridge and faced her.

"We hav'ta wait for the right time."

"When is that going to be, Ranma?"

"Don't know yet."

He left the kitchen with a tentacle hanging from his chewing mouth. Akane scowled darkly. When someone went too far, that's when. When he had no other choice but to fight. The best in combat would get his way. That's what Uncle Genma had taught him. She was taught differently.

* * *

><p>"I outsider, they say, so what know about Nujié Zú custom? I bad warrior, they say, so why worthy of student? I male, they say, how can guide female child?"<p>

"But you are her father."

Kasumi placed her cup down. Mr Pu poured more tea. He was such a dear man, despite the way life had treated him. A man dragged from the fields to carry a weapon in a mission of death and conquer. A trip that ended with a wounded woman, who he married by force months later. The woman was killed. He was left with a child he loved but was not allowed to raise.

"Here, that means something."

"It be too late now." He lamented. "They teach well. Shampoo no listen me. She no care what I say…"

"Oh, but that is normal! Akane doesn't listen to anyone either. I talk anyway. I'm sure she listens to at least some of the things I say."

He didn't look convinced, but nodded anyway. The door-bell rang. Mr Pu sighed and rose to his feet, shuffling out of the room to see who it was. A moment later, the man returned, tailed by Akane. Kasumi smiled.

"Oh, hello, Akane! How was the visit to the Zoo?"

"Kasumi? What're you doing here?"

"Oh, Mr Pu and I always drink tea together Saturday afternoons." She glanced at the window. "Oh, my. It is a little late, though, isn't it?"

Mr Pu grabbed Akane roughly by the arm and pointed an angry finger at her.

"It late, yes. Go home. Take sister!"

Akane snatched her arm back. The insipid frown on her brow seemed enough to intimidate Mr Pu into standard polite behavior with guests. Murmuring moodily under his breath, he led her down a short corridor and to a small door. There, he knocked.

"Líkāi!"

"...Hěn nǚhái fán zhèlǐ, Xian Pu."

The door opened after a while and Shampoo, already on pajamas, stood before them.

"Akane." She growled. "This stalking, no?"

"I wanted to make sure you were alright."

"She alright, see?" Mr Pu said. "You go now!"

"Líkāi!"

He jumped so violently that the small hat on his head fell. Shampoo didn't have to repeat the command. Mr Pu was out of their sight by the time the hat reached the floor. Akane swallowed and shifted uncomfortably. It never occurred to her Shampoo would already be in bed. It wasn't that late. She excused herself and turned to leave, but the Amazon stepped aside and gestured for her to enter.

Like the restaurant and the other parts of the house Akane had seen, Shampoo's room didn't have much in terms of decoration. There was a small wardrobe against a wall and a Chinese screen, with all kinds of mythological creatures dancing over its surface, stood in a corner. Two beds sat right in the center of the room and took up most of the space. A TV had been conventionally placed in a small table at the foot of one of them. It displayed the frozen image of a violent fight scene between digitalized ninjas. The word 'paused' flickered in and out of view. A single joystick lay abandoned on the mattress.

"Very sneaky, Tendo Akane." The door slammed shut and Akane whirled around. Shampoo was leaning over it, eyeing her coldly. "No see coming from you. You save my life, now I in debt. Now Shampoo at you mercy."

"WHAT?" Akane went livid with rage. "I didn't know about those stupid Laws when I saved you!"

"Was good idea, but it make you no good..."

Akane blinked and Shampoo was suddenly in front of her, grabbing her by the throat. The vice-like grip denied her lungs of precious air and the young Tendo gagged and clawed at the strangling hand helplessly. Shampoo's cruel face remained impassive.

"You better no make stupid stunt like today again because maybe then getting punish worth it if you is dead."

Akane moaned. And to think she would sport a hideous scar on her arm for the rest of her life because of this ungrateful bitch! Her erratic clawing stopped. Her hands clamped on Shampoo's wrist and elbow and sank her fingers in bones and tendons. The Amazon winced and glanced at the painful grip. Akane took advantage of the distraction. Her leg came knifing upwards and landed a brutal kick on Shampoo's chin. They fell back away from each other.

Ignoring the building soreness of her bruised throat, Akane rolled back to her feet and gazed at the fallen Amazon. Shampoo's eyes were slightly unfocused and she had to shake her head a few times to get them back in the proper orbit. Akane had to fight back the urge to gloat.

"You're free to try." She stated coldly instead. "And say you do. You kill me. What's that going to get you?"

Shampoo crawled back to her feet. The look on her face reeked of impending violence. Akane shifted her stance. She had improved a lot since the last time they fought. Ranma have been training her and so had Ryoga. Shampoo's speed was still superior, but that blow had dazed her and Akane had not hit nearly as hard as she could. The prospect of a fight was not frightening anymore, but surprinslgly...thrilling.

Shampoo sighed and looked down. She shuffled back to the bed and sat down to sulk.

"Nothing good."

"And if you're planning on attacking Ukyo, remember what Ranma said." Akane said tartly. "She's his friend. Hurting her won't get you anything good either."

"I know..."

The time to exchange blows was seemly over. Akane rubbed her sore throat. Perhaps it was a good time to extend a new token of friendship. She slugged her pink backpack over one shoulder and reached inside. She removed a small box and offered it to the Amazon.

Shampoo blinked and grabbed the box. She examined it carefully. It was of medium-size and plain-looking, with no crafting or ornaments on the surface. It smelt of pine. Kuromatsult, she identified, a tree natural of the Northern parts of China and East of Japan. The top was secured shut with a simple shred of silk. She loosened the knot and opened the box.

Her eyes widened. There, in the velvety interior of the wooden box, rested the pieces of her mother's skull. Even the ten or so hairs it still had, were neatly coiled and tucked inside.

"I'm really sorry how things turned out." Akane confessed mildly "It wasn't supposed to be the worst…date you ever had,"

Shampoo looked up from the box and stared intently at her. She suddenly lunged. Akane backpedaled, trying to gain some distance between them. But Shampoo was faster. She trapped her in a powerful hug and squeezed the air out of her. Akane's mind raced, trying to find the correct strategy to free herself or avoid further punishment. The urgency to escape subsided in the absence of pain. The arms relaxed and Akane could breath again. Shampoo's head came to rest on her shoulder.

Her sisters and friends would hug her from time to time. But this felt different. Shampoo's small body was very warm and the cold silk of her dressing felt cold where it touched her skin. Her hair smelt of wild flowers and for a moment, Akane thought the girl was...purring.

Shuddering violently at the storm of highly improper sensations Shampoo was causing, Akane pushed her back a bit too roughly. The Amazon didn't seem to mind but the radiant expression on her face wavered and was replaced by a confused, almost uncertain, look. She stared at the box and then at the person who had brought it to her.

"Why you do this for Shampoo?"

"Because I could..."Akane hesitated. The look of vulnerability on Shampoo's face was disarming She wondered too why she had done it. There were other ways of wining Shampoo over, less dangerous and tedious ways. The answer to her questions were kinda obvious, however. "My mother left us too. I know how it must've hurt to..well...a...piece of...Shampoo, does Cologne know you have this?"

"Yes." She looked at the box. Her delicate fingers caressed it briefly. She gave it back to Akane. "But it broken now. No good no more."

"But its your...mother...I don't really understand it but if you..."

"It was hers, Akane, but it is not her. It talisman, but now it broken. It no good no more."

The dead of Akane's mother had devastated the family. To survive the anguish, her father and sisters had sealed their mouths and buried their shared memories. It was a forbidden topic but not by any strict rule. It was merely understood. Not talking about it did little to ease the pain of her absence Her tearful eyes lowered to the box now in her hands. She shoved put it back inside her backpack, unable to look at it anymore. Shehurried to the door, babbling excuses to leave.

"Our mothers are bone and hair, Akane. But who they were, the love they give, always be part of who we are."

That damn bitch! Akane covered her face with a trembling hand and felt, mortified, how tears were already escaping her eyes. She couldn't cry. Not in front of Shampoo, or of Mr Pu...and if Kasumi saw her now she would talk to her and it would be worse. Shampoo allowed her time to control herself. Akane was to shove all of her anguish back where it belonged. She took several deep breaths before talking again.

"I should go. It's late and I-I just wanted to make sure you were alright..."

"Stay, Akane. Play Freakin' Tiny Ninja with me?"

Akane looked at Shampoo. The smile on her face, the way her eyes gleamed, were disarming. She realized she didn't want to leave. She sat o the bed and accepted a joystick.


	5. First friendly exchanges

Leaves whispered, stirred by the wind. The monotonous song of a cicada was accompanied every few second by the splashing sound of a koi jumping in the water. The calm was soon broken by a fierce battle cry.

Akane kicked at her opponent, resting on her leg enough strength to break several bricks. But the blow did not connect. Shampoo jumped and flipped over her. The youngest Tendo, well aware of the dangers of having the Amazon at her back, quickly dropped to the ground and whirled around, barreling the floor with an outstretched leg, intending on kicking Shampoo off her feet as soon as she landed.

Akane grunted when a sudden weight forced her head down. She realized that Shampoo had landed on her head…again. She straightened, snarling in anger and the weight lifted. She saw the Amazon landing neatly a few feet away from her, laughing.

"You is so slow!"

"Who. Is. Slow!?"

Every outraged word was accentuated with a punch and a kick, but it didn't matter how hard or fast she hit, Shampoo evaded effortlessly each blow. After several minutes, Akane was forced to stop the attack, panting for breath. Shampoo jabbed a finger at her.

"Is you!"

Akane gritted her teeth, her nostrils flaring. Sparring with Shampoo was proving to be quite similar to the practices she held with Ranma. It didn't matter what she did, they were always a step ahead of her.

"Shampoo give advice." Shampoo said with a malicious glint on her eyes. "You learn to defend and then attack, yes? It base of Japan Martial Art."

Akane didn't answer. The Anything Goes School had, as its name implied, no heavy influence of any particular style. It was a mixture of hundreds. But to mix moves efficiently, one had to be a very experienced fighter. Happosai and Ranma had mastered the style, but she didn't know enough yet. So she always fell back on styles she felt more comfortable with. Most of them relied on a defensive move, before performing a concluding attack.

Shampoo shifted her stance, snapping her attention back to the fight. Her raised leg met the ground and stretched to the side. The other buckled slightly. The Amazon was crouching now and she drew a circle in the air with her arms. They froze at her sides, adopting a posture strangely reminiscent of Ranma's when he sank into the Neko-Ken.

"Nujiezu in other hand…" Shampoo purred, almost seductively. "We train to attack."

Akane lifted her arms to shield her face. A sharp pain spread through her right forearm like fire. She had to grit her teeth to avoid screaming. Shampoo hissed in annoyance and the grimace on Akane's face slowly turned into a triumph expression. She readjusted her stance and prepared to attack after the successful block. Shampoo barreled forward, throwing her violently to the ground. She struggled to recover but a foot knifed through her inadequate defenses and connected with her jaw. The pain was intense and it overrode anything else. In her daze, the fight lost meaning. The song of the cicada grew fainter and then, it simply stopped. Darkness swallowed the world and the urge to rise was forgotten…

And then, Akane heard voices...

"…Listen to me! Hit her again like that and I'm gonna be mad."

"But we sparring..."

"Shampoo, honey, I know Akane is violent and hits pretty hard, but I'm afraid she's not used to be in the receiving end. Please, do be more careful next time?"

The comments were embarrassing and Akane struggled to open her eyes. When that failed, a pathetic moan slipped her lips. As if reminded of its wound by the sound, a searing pain shot through her jaw and stabbed her brain. She took a crisped hand to the sore bone and massaged it. Darkness retreated. The voices grew louder and her eyes finally opened. She could see her family-plus Ranma and Uncle Genma- hovering worriedly over her. And the roof above them. They had carried her inside after the brutal knock out. She searched Shampoo with her eyes.

"Akane!" Soun's shrill wail made them cringe.

"Geez, stop screaming, dad. Sis, you okay?"

"Yes…" Akane mumbled, struggling to sit. The world whirled unsteadily around her. "Ow…what happened?"

"Shampoo-chan hammered you to the ground."

Everyone scowled to the side and Akane turned to find Shampoo sitting a little there. The tension in the room could be cut with a knife and the girl was looking at Ranma with the most tender puppy-eyed look she had ever seen. He was making efforts not to look at it. Akane sit down, ignoring the blazing pain. A strained smile was carefully put in place.

"Kasumi's right. I'm not used to be on the receiving end. I need the practice."

"Ye went down like a sack." Ranma said, pulling her back to her feet. "Why would you sprawl like that?"

"Leave self all open." Shampoo added, shuffling a little closer to Ranma. "Kick in jaw knock out like light!"

Akane's hands clenched tightly but she nodded, trying to be graceful about the whole ordeal. Acceptance of positive criticism could only lead to self-improvement. So she was knocked down with one punch and it seemed everyone had witnessed the pathetic outcome of the sparring match. It wasn't such a big deal.

"If you're pushed like that, you lift your legs and kick." Ranma continued.

Shampoo clapped her hands enthusiastically and hopped a little closer to the boy.

"Yes! Or roll to side and back to feet!"

"I'll try. I gonna go lie down a little…"

Akane walked unsteadily down the corridor, grateful that they simply stepped aside to let her pass. With one foot on the staircase, she heard Ranma grunt in the dinning room. Shampoo chirped happily. A lot of giggling and stammering followed. It was easy to guess what was happening. But it was the comment that followed that set her blood boiling.

"Shampoo better woman, yes? Better wife to Ranma!"

"Yeah, nice kick by the way…!"

Ranma tried to snatch his arm free of Shampoo's grasp, but the girl simply tightened the hold. He had learnt in the last weeks that the Amazon was not so hard to control. He just needed to be angry and glare until she backed off. Any attempt at even pretending hostility, however, was thwarted by the naked love Ranma could constantly see on Shampoo's big eyes and the sight of her thin little mouth smiling sweetly.

Ranma's frown disappeared. Shampoo beamed and released his arm just so she could grab his neck and hug tighter. His reactions to her affections were always contradictory. He kept trying to push her back, but Shampoo could feel his heart racing and the skin growing warm. Well aware of the hostile eyes fixed on them, Shampoo leaned a little on Ranma so she could reach his ear.

"Wo Ai Ni…"

Ranma stiffened suddenly…and not in a good way. Shampoo stopped nuzzling and slowly turned around. Akane was standing next to them, her whole body glowing dangerously. The look on her face was positively murderous. Ranma's eyes bulged at the sight of the bucket dangling from her hands. Akane was deaf to his stammering explanations and washed them both with the cold contents of the bucket.

Ranma wailed in desperation at the sight of a cat so near her face. She ran for dear life, growing more desperate as the beast nailed its claws on her flesh. Dimly aware of the animal's real identity, she screamed Shampoo's name. But the cat would yowl in response, causing her body to jerk and jump more violently.

Back in the house, Akane watched her husband-to-be fleeing to the horizon with the Amazon. The family scattered silently. She dropped the bucket and marched to her room.

* * *

><p>The next afternoon, Akane and Ranma were walking back from school. He was a little cranky because the math teacher was being an ass. The old bastard accused him of cheating on the previous assignment, but having no real proof to justify any punishment, the man settled for harassment. He would watch everything he did over his shoulder like a hunting hawk.<p>

"Crazy old fart…" Ranma grumbled darkly.

"Ranma…" Akane said, worried. "Didn't Ukyo act a little weird today?"

Ranma blinked. The math teacher was forgotten. He looked down at Akane, walking calmly on the sidewalk. In an impulse, the boy jumped down from the fence so he could walk by her side.

"What you mean?"

"She's being sitting alone all day." Akane told him. "How come you didn't notice?"

"Maybe she's sick 'r somethin'."

"I think she's still upset about what happened at the Zoo."

Ranma stopped and looked pensive for a moment. His stomach growled loudly.

"Maybe I should go talk to her…"

Akane glared at him, but before she could say anything, the jingling of a bell floated ghostly in the wind. A mili-second later, the front-wheel of a bike landed on Ranma's head. He grunted but bared the weight of the bike and its rider without falling.

"Shampoo…." He hissed with barely-contained rage.

"Ni Hao, Ranma!"

Shampoo chirped happily and dived for the twitching boy, tackling him to the ground. There, she rubbed herself against him like a cat in heat. Akane was a bit disgusted. She grabbed the Amazon by the back of her shirt and snatched her off the boy. Then, Akane set her down on her feet next to her. Shampoo blinked, a little stunned.

"Hello, Shampoo!" Akane said, smiling sweetly. "How's it going?"

"Is good, thank you." Shampoo said and slapped her hand away with certain flair. "I no has time for you now. I date Ranma today."

Akane scowled darkly and was promptly ignored. Shampoo looked down at Ranma but the boy, sprawled at their feet a second ago, was gone. The canal was to their right, which left…a hundred different routes of escape. Shampoo sighed mournfully. She could track him down but Great-grandmother said it was important to respect the boy's independence. It's not that he didn't want her around. Indifference didn't necessarily imply a lack of interest. He was just a free-spirit, wild and untamed. Shampoo sighed lustfully and picked her bike. They would date another day. She turned around and almost head-butt Akane.

"We can hang out together, if you want." The girl offered with a smile.

"No. Last time family go crazy. Go learn be real fighter, then we spar again."

"That's not fair! You're not even supposed to hit so hard in a sparring match! That's why it's called 'sparring'?!"

"If I hit hard, I break head."

Akane was about to retort, but stopped herself. Ranma and Ryoga did attack each other rabidly during their sparring matches and the few times Shampoo and Ukyo had clashed in friendly duels-or whatever they understood as 'friendly'- viciousness was never off the table. Perhaps Shampoo was not the problem…

"I'm just not used to it." Akane confessed mildly. "Everyone has always pulled back on me."

The look on Shampoo's face silenced Akane and forced her eyes to the ground. The contempt she could see on those hard eyes were like daggers slicing over an already wounded pride. Akane had always thought to be good. She was of the average. It had been her first real sparring match with one of the "power-houses" and she was put down in the blink of an eye.

Shampoo grabbed her hand and started running. Alarmed, Akane looked back at their unknown pursuer. Behind them only stood Shampoo's bike. The Amazon jumped and Akane yelped as she was carried along in the air. She managed a feeble protest as they ran along the slippery tiles of a rooftop

"Why're we running? What's going on?!"

"Nothing happening! Is because!"

Shampo chirped back and jumped to another roof. In mid leap, she released Akane's hand. The youngest Tendo screamed, flailing her arms wildly. The Amazon landed neatly but the momentum of the jump made Akane stumble. She slid down the tiles towards the edge of the roof. At the last instant, her fingers managed to dig into the hard material and broke her fall. Her feet dangled precariously over the edge. Shampoo laughted.

"Is no just blows, Akane! You is total klutz!"

Akane gritted her teeth and climb back up. She charged towards the Amazon.

"You jerk!"

"Aiya! Catch if catch can!"

Akane did not fall again as they ran over the rooftops of Nerima, leaping from one house to the other, sometimes changing directions and using trees as temporarily perches At one point, there were no more houses and they ran as fast as they could in wet grass. Sore limbs and burning lungs were ignored as they crossed the broad park of Nerima and then back to the seemly endless field of tiles and concrete walls. It was mid-afternoon when Shampoo, trembling and panting, finally stopped running and approached a building. Akane dimly realized that it was the Neko Hanten. She stumbled, wheezing for breath, and grabbed the other girl's arm.

"Got...cha."

"…Huh?"

"I-I caught you…"

The Amazon shoved her roughly. Akane, unprepared for the blow, fell on her butt.

"What you catch?"

"It was the game, you jerk! I was supposed to catch you!?"

"Aiya, is true!" The Amazon laughed briefly and unlocked the door of the restaurant. "But I bore hours ago. We just running then."

"Yeah, well, I didn't know that so I win." Akane sniffed and crawled back to trembling legs. She realized how dark it was. "I should get going. They must be worried at home."

"You call inside and stay for dinner."

She couldn't answer before Shampoo grabbed her wrist and dragged her inside. They crossed the empty restaurant and went straight to a back door hiding a flight of stairs. It led to the residential part of the restaurant. Once inside the apartment, Shampoo screamed.

"Is home! Akane eat here!"

A muffled answer was heard from the kitchen, but they didn't stop. Shampoo led her to a small corridor to their left.

"You eat real china food today. Father best cook in all village."

At the end of the small corridor there was another door leading to yet another flight of stairs. This time they climb down. As they left the door behind, it grew dark. Akane asked nervously if they could turn a light on but the Amazon commented calmly that there were none. It seemed the trip in the darkness would never end. Akane grew nervous. What if this was another crazy plan to eliminate competition? What if that competition was her?! She stopped dead on her tracks. She realized, terrified, that Shampoo made no noise as she walked. Her hand flailed about, trying to find her by contact. There was nothing but air around her.

"Sh-Shampoo?!"

"What?"

"Where're we going?"

"To huge bath. Why you still up?"

"How do you know...?"

"You voice, Akane. Wait."

A sudden light burst in the darkness and Akane flinched back. She squinted. A square of blinding light had materialized at the foot of the stairs. It was close to her. Shampoo stood in front of it, holding a door open. The distinctive sound of rushing water could be heard from inside. Akane climbed the rest of the way and stared in awe. She had been there before, but without the pressure of saving Ranma, she could actually appraise the huge bathroom. It was crowded with at least two gigantic pools, sporting intimidating fountains of stone representing mythological beasts. The steaming of so much hot water had formed a miasma, making it hard to distinguish details in the distance. From where Akane stood, the ostentatious bathroom seemed to extend limitless in the horizon.

Shampoo flipped free of her cloths in one fluid motion and ran in all her naked glory towards the huge tub nearest the entrance. She jumped into the water and reappeared a moment later among the mist, waving at Akane.

"Get in water, Akane! Is too too good!"

Akane removed her cloths and approached the pool. She wondered nervously how deep it was. She couldn't swim and it would embarrass her to death if the Amazon found out. It was hard to get any respect as it was already. She set one foot into the water until it met something solid. Then she stepped with the other and sighed in relief. The pool was deep, but at the edge some merciful soul had installed a platform to sit and enjoy the warm water in peace. Akane sat with her back against the tiled wall of the pool. She stretched her arms and laid them loosely at the sides, hooking her hands down the border so she wouldn't accidentally slip away from the platform. She sighed and tried to relax.

Something latched into her ankle. Her eyes snapped open. It pulled sharply and she screamed, clinging desperately to the sides of the pool. Shampoo burst out of the water and tugged again at Akane's leg.

"Come on, Akane! Come swim with Shampoo!"

"No! I-uh...We should relax for a minute!"

Shampoo stopped pulling and sneered at her.

"Pamper little girl."

"IT'S NOT THAT! I…ah… Meditation's also an important part of training. We should try and meditate for a while…while we take…a bath."

Shampoo released her and Akane carefully sat back against the wall. She realized then that the tiles had cracked under her hands. If they broke, she would've been dragged into the depths of the pool to drown. The water waved slightly around her and she turned to find Shampoo sitting down next to her. When it seemed it was safe, Akane released the tiles. The Amazon closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. It seemed the meditation idea suited her fine. At least one of them would relax, Akane thought darkly, keeping a close eye on her companion.

An hour later, the girls decided they were hungry and it was time to eat. Shampoo led the way back upstairs and let her use the phone. As Akane walked by the kitchen, she caught a scent that made her mouth watered. A moment later, once Kasumi had been informed of her staying at the Amazons for dinner, she walked into the dinner room. The sight upon the table seemed a picture of some specialized culinary magazine. Small quantities of any number of colorful dishes rested before her and both Mr Pu and Shampoo stood waiting for her to sit.

Akane noticed she was drooling and that they were waiting for her. She clumsily knelt next to Shampoo. The Amazon touched her arm and pointed at a cushion next to Mr Pu, on the other side of the table. Without question, the youngest Tendo rose back to her feet and sat in the indicated spot. Shampoo and Mr Pu exchanged vows and grabbed their bowls. They ate in silence and Akane had to wonder if it was considered rude to talk.

"Hum, so, Mr Pu…" She tried. "How come we never see you around?"

"Working restaurant." He answered curtly.

"Shampoo works too and she finds time to pester us."

Shampoo glared at her. Akane smirked impudently.

"No warrior." He said. "Stay home."

Shampoo turned on the TV. It immediately displayed a strange animation of a blue cat and three rats running from some lava avalanche and a pack of dinosaurs. A male song sang in Mandarin as the animated animals fled for their lives. Mr Pu sighed mournfully.

* * *

><p>Kasumi smiled and vowed politely at the man in front of her. He was such a kind person, always saving for her the most beautiful vegetables and fruits. His was the last shop they needed to visit.<p>

Even though the bag was not heavy, Mr Pu insisted on carrying it himself, together with the previous purchases. Kasumi thanked him with a smile. She loved how such a small gesture of gratitude made him smile so warmly. It was a simplicity reminiscent of children. And very endearing. He walked with her, as every monday, back home. That day, however, instead of allowing him to shuffle away mournfully, the oldest Tendo sister issued an invitation.

"Would you like to come inside?" Mr Pu flinched at that. She smiled warmly. "You must feel very lonely, always working at the restaurant. Please, come in."

Mr Pu was a little stunned and a little uncertain. He didn't know what the etiquette was regarding unmarried women and man in Japan. Kasumi was already entering. She knew what she was doing, he supposed, so he followed her inside. They crossed the garden and stopped at the foyer, where two grumpy looking men sat before a shogi board. They looked up at them and Mr Pu swallowed, intimidated.

"Father, Mr Saotome, this is Mr Pu. He's Shampoo's father."

They glanced at each other before jumping to tower on both sides of Mr Pu. The tanned man with the beard was much taller than him and the bald one was built like a brick. By the hard eyes and stout hands, the whimpering Amazon could guess they were fighter. Considering the strained relationship between their two Clans, things could go pretty bad. He stared pleadingly at Kasumi but the girl kept smiling warmly.

"I hope you can join us at dinner tonight." She said and turned away. "I should start in the kitchen."

"Good sir." The tallest of the bullies said. "We'd like to have a few words with you."

* * *

><p>"Train with weapon help learning adapt different situation." Shampoo told Akane, holding a pole with a wicked blade attached at one end and a nasty hook at the other. "Help you get proper balance of own body and understand own reach and of opponent and of all around you. This kwan dao. This what you do."<p>

Shampoo kicked the end of the pole resting next to her and swung it upwards in a fluid motion. It made a strange whistling sound. The blade sliced across their practice dummy. The Amazon twirled the kwan dao around and set it to rest next to her once again. The upper half of the dummy suddenly slid off and hit the ground. Akane swallowed. The post that was the spine of the straw confection was as thick as her thigh.

"Now you try!"

Akane grabbed the kwan dao gingerly and examined it. It wasn't a nice weapon. The blade looked like a giant butcher knife and the nine rings attached to the flat side rattled horribly every time it was moved. The hook at the other end was the size of her hand and its morbid purposes were evident. The dull black color of the shaft did little to soften its wicked appearance.

"Can't we use something that's not lethal?"

"Blade need less strength to be good."

"I don't think we should use it."

Shampoo stared a moment at her and then nodded in sudden understanding. She turned and rummaged through the pile of weapons she had brought. Akane set the kwan dao aside and approached. Shampoo received her with a 37 inch sable.

"This Da Dao Dui. Smaller, see? More easy use!"

"It's another sword, Shampoo!" She pushed it back to her. "Can we _practice_ with something that isn't lethal? Like poles, or something?"

Shampoo considered that and fished out her chuis from the pile. She handed them to Akane and stepped back.

Ranma shifted on his branch. He liked to keep an eye on the girls when they met to spar. Every time Shampoo picked a sword, his entire body tensed and his heart raced. But the Amazon was behaving and never made the aggressive move he was waiting for to interfere.

Akane swung a chui wildly. The momentum of the swing just added to the heavy weight of the mace and she was pulled off her feet. The weapon went flying and landed into the pond. Akane sprawled in the grass. After a stunned silence, Shampoo started laughing hysterically. Akane crawled back to her feet and laughed too. Ranma smiled in the safe concealment of his perch. Akane had always been too susceptible. Any criticism was an insult and laughing at her was taken as a personal betrayal. The last month of fooling around with Shampoo had made wonders. Not only did Akane take his playful jabs with a smile, sometimes she would even laugh. It was a nice change.

The girls were running in circles in the garden now, laughing like children. Akane refused to fish the mace out of the pond and the Amazon was trying to make her. She finally caught her and bodily threw her in the cold water. Akane screamed and flailed her arms wildly for a few seconds. When she realize her butt was resting safely on the sand, she calmed down. She fished the chui out and threatened the Amazon with it. Ranma wasn't sure if she was joking anymore. Shampoo's response to the threat was to laugh louder. She snatched by the tail a startled koi and threw it at Akane's face. It hit her flat in the nose with a sharp meaty sound.

"Ow! That wasn't funny, baka! It hit my eye!"

"Was so! Was so! Aiya!"

Shampoo dodged a flying chui and scurried away from the charging Akane.

Ranma sighed and leaned back against the trunk of the tree. Shampoo was a lot to take. But it seemed Akane wasn't as incapable at handling her as he had thought. It wasn't so surprising, he conceded. There was something about Akane that mollified people. Even though her shit of a temper would soon ruin any act of kindness, those encounters with her soft side marked people. Her offering of friendship two years ago was a relinquished memory.

"Airen spar too!"

Ranma arched violently forward. A swirling sword passed whistling behind him, cutting a few hairs off his pigtail. The branch he had been lounging on was not so lucky. The sword cut it cleanly from the trunk. He screamed. A rain of leaves followed his descend into the cold water of the pond.

"Ranma!" Akane gasped. "Are you okay?"

"ARE YA OUTTA YER MIND!" Ranma howled, now with a female body, upon emerging from the water.

Shampoo wasn't impressed. She romped to the edge of the pond and leaped at him. Ranma went into hysterics.

"NO! SHAMPOO! **DON'T!**"

Shampoo tackled her and forced them both into the water. Ranma gurgled her horror when the smiling human face inches away from her nose shifted and turned into the horrifying visage of a cat. She ejected herself from the water, running wildly in an attempt to dislodge the animal. She ran towards the nearest wall, hoping the slam against it would knock her into beautiful obliviousness. The boy, now turned girl, embedded herself into a concrete wall. It cracked slightly on impact and the limp body of Ranma Saotome fell flat on the grass. Akane approached them and picked the dazed cat under the redhead's skull.

"It's your fault, you know." She stated calmly. "You shouldn't spy on people."

The three of them blinked when a sudden light flashed before them. Nabiki had walked to meet them and had a camera on her hands. She smiled down at Ranma.

"Kuno's going to pay a fortune for this."

Ranma realized that one of her boobs was hanging out and the other could be clearly seen through the white wet shirt. Enraged, she rose to her feet and attempted to snatch the camera away from the she-devil of Nerima. Nabiki snatched Shampoo from Akane's arms and hold her directly in front of Ranma. The cursed boy howled and jumped back. Nabiki made as if she would throw the cat at her. The poor redhead fled back into the house. With a smirk, the middle Tendo sister placed the stunned cat back on Akane's arms and walked away. After the surprise ran out of her system, Shampoo hissed in anger.

"It's a little late for that…"

Akane commented and walked back into the house.

The bathroom at the Tendo's was small and plain-looking compared to what Akane had seen at the Amazon's residence. But it was big enough. It was normal, she corrected herself. Shampoo and her would just have to take turns on the furo. She opened the door and set Shampoo down. The cat ran directly to the bathtub and meowed loudly. Without a word, Akane opened the hot water.

The transformation was fast but always a stunning sight. The small white kitten grew. Her fur was replaced by creamy gleaming skin. The pointed ears lowered in the round skull as long silky locks of hair cascaded down. Paws would turned to hands, claws softening to human nails. And a waving tail fused and disappeared.

"Does it hurt?" Akane asked.

"No." Shampoo sighed and stretched languidly under the water. "It fast."

"I'll get us some clean cloths. There's the soap and shampoo, if you want to wash your hair…"

Ranma was grumbling under her breath. Every afternoon she ended soaked to the bone and with a headache. Why?! Other people didn't get splash with water every hour. Maybe Ryoga and Mousse. Shampoo also seemed to turn from human to cat way too often. Perhaps it was part of the curse, inciting others to drench them...

Ranma passed by Akane's room and was almost ran over by her fiance. She glanced back over her shoulder.

"Shampoo and I're using the bathroom! Don't you dare coming in!"

"My, they're sure spending lots of time together…" Ranma yelped and turned sharply around to find Nabiki standing calmly at the end of the corridor. "Doesn't it bother you?"

"Why'd it bother me?"

"No reason…"

She gave him a weird look and walked away. Ranma scowled and pondered on that for a moment.

Shampoo was lounging in the filled tub, her undone hair spread in the water. A please little smile was dancing on her face. Akane sat in a small plastic stool in front of the mirror. She soaped her sore muscles carefully, mindful of the bruises and cuts marking her body after the last week of hard training. She winced, grazing the puffed wound at her shoulder. Her eyes fixed at its reflection on the mirror surface. And to think that disgusting bug-like protuberance would remain there for the rest of her life...

Akane heard splashing water. Shampoo had left the tub. Her body still dripping, the girl knelt next to her and inspected the wound closely. Akane fidgeted nervously. She flinched back as the Amazon brushed it with a finger.

"Great-grandmother know chi healing technique." Shampoo stated. "She back in month, take scar away. Arm all good again."

"R-really?"

"It special Joketsuzoku technique of 3,000 thousand year old!"

In an impulse, Akane hugged the Amazon tightly. They stiffened when their breasts squashed uncomfortably against each other's and quickly broke the embrace. Akane wiped a tear from the corner of her eye.

"That's some good news!"

Shampoo stared uncertainly at the wound as Akane finished soaping herself. It was not wide but she knew it was deep. In the shoulder the throwing dagger could make little damage. If the edge had embedded into the girl's neck, however, one of Ranma's annoying suitors would definitely be off the competition. The small weapon would have cut an important tendon right off, perforated the trachea or the spinal cord. All lethal blows. Shampoo frowned.

"You say you no know about Law before rescue Shampoo…?"

"I didn't. Nabiki gave me the book after what happened at the park."

"No one ever take blow for me before…"

The Amazon murmured darkly, straining to understand. Akane had taken a huge risk. Too huge just for some frivolous recognition of courage. Ranma saved people for the thrill of a good challenge. Mousse had saved her out of lust. Shampoo had fought risky battles and taken ugly blows for a little of both. Why would Akane...?

A soft hand rested gently on her shoulder, swaying her from her thoughts Shampoo looked up. Akane was gazing tenderly at her. There was a sudden flash of light and Shampoo closed her eyes in pain. When she opened them again, she found Nabiki Tendo standing by the glass doors, brushing her teeth.

"Sorry. Am I interrupting something?"

"N-no?"

Akane stammered. She realized just how close she and Shampoo were to each other and how their hands were actually resting on the other's skin. She pulled her hands back. Much to her embarrassment, Shampoo didn't. She rose quickly to her feet.

"If you're done with the furo, I'll use it now."

"Okay."

Mr Pu gagged and delicately spit to the side. Soun and Genma had no trouble swallowing a fourth cup of sake. It was a little weird to be in the presence of other men after so much time of isolation. He was enjoying their company, despite the uncomfortable subjects they insisted on touching.

"It Joketsuzoku law." He said. "No can do nothing."

"This is not Joketsuzoku." Genma whispered confidentially on his ear. "Here, the Law says you're the bra…the girl's father."

Soun nodded soberly, though his eyes were slightly glazed.

"Here, it is the men who have the final word. And who sets the rules in the house."

"But Xian Pu great warrior." Mr Pu moaned. "Try say what do, she punch in face!"

Soun and Genma sighed deeply. Their eyes met.

"A child's duty is to abide the wishes of their parents." Genma stated gravely.

"And it is a father's duty to raise their children lovingly but firmly." Soun finished. "It is your obligation, Mr Pu, to clear things out to your daughter."

"We'll back you up." Genma promised, placing his heavy stout hand on his shoulder.

Soun nodded with a grunt.

Mr Pu swallowed, not quite sure about the wisdom of this people. It was worth a try…

After they were done in the bathroom, Shampoo had jumped out of the top-floor window to fetch the dao dao dui and romped back into the house with the wicked dagger. Akane had trotted along. In her room, Shampoo had showed her the correct way of holding and using it. Akane had trained in the art of swordsmanship for almost two years but it never seemed to have a practical use. As she watched Shampoo move with the sable, attacking and defending herself against some imaginary opponent, Akane realized just how beautiful it was. The Amazon seemed to be dancing, the dao no longer a deadly weapon, but a gentle dancing partner. And it was hers. Shampoo had given her the sword and was teaching her how to dance with it. She smiled and jumped out of the bed, waiting impatiently to try herself.

There was a knock on the door.

"Yo, dinner's ready…"

"Aiya!"

Shampoo threw the sword aside and rushed for the door. Ranma screamed when it slung opened and she leaped out to grapple him. His protests were ignored and smothered slightly by the Amazon's giggling. Akane could only stare at the sword, now embedded to its hilt in the wooden floor.

"Aiya!" Shampoo gasped upon entering the dining room. "What you do here?"

Between Soun and Genma sat a small hunched man, wearing dark heavy cloths, his eyes hidden behind dark sunglasses, Mr Pu crawled to his feet and vowed politely to his daughter.

"Kasumi ask stay. I eat here."

Shampoo smiled broadly.

"Shampoo father best cook in whole village! You eat too too good tonight!"

"Uh…I no cook…"

"I'm afraid I did!" Kasumi beamed, coming from the kitchen with a tray filled with different dishes. Nabiki trailed behind with another one. "I hope it's just as good!"

Shampoo gave Mr Pu a half lidded stare, but dropped the matter. She knelt next to Ranma and patted for Akane to sit next to her. The young Tendo hesitated, but finally accepted the invitation with a smile. It was a huge mistake. The Amazon simply turned her back on her and tried to hand-feed Ranma. He was a patient person and could take a lot before finally losing his cool. Shampoo had a talent to piss him off quite quickly. Seeing Akane wasn't about to interfere on his behalf, Ranma snatched the bowl and chopsticks from the Amazon and snapped at her to back off.

Mr Pu's chopsticks snapped in half and he grumbled darkly under his breath. Soun and Genma cleared their throat.

"No be shy…"

"I ain't! Lemme alone!"

"Shampoo!" Mr Pu blurted out sharply, making the three youth jump slightly. All set of eyes fixed on him. The man paled, trembled and grabbed his bowl of rice. "Please, pass soy sauce?"

"Okay."

The girl disentangled herself from Ranma and passed the soy sauce. Genma stood up.

"That is not the way." He said and lunged for Ranma. The boy choked on his food as he was hauled off his pillow. "Ranma! Take a bath!"

Everyone stared as Ranma was ejected towards the pond at the far side of the garden. He wailed and cursed all the short flight, before hitting the water's surface and sinking like a rock. He emerged a second later…as a red-head girl.

"What was that for?! YOU…ROTTEN SON OF A…!"

"Impertinent!" Genma sputtered between mouthfuls of food…Ranma's food. "I always do what's in your best interests!"

"Yeah, right…"

Ranma leaped, snarling, out of the water and chased after the laughing man, uncaring of the way her unsupported breasts danced chaotically with each step. The Tendo family and the two Amazons stared vapidly at the pair as they beat each other up in the garden. Mr Pu glanced uncertainly at Soun before reaching for a glass filled with water. The Tendo Patriarch quickly caught his wrist and shook his head.

Ten minutes later, Ranma returned, wild-eyed and all mated hair. A Panda was embedded into a wall on the other side of the house. Shampoo handed him her own bowl of noodles, smiling sweetly. He grabbed it without even thinking and ate in angry gulps. Mr Pu twitched on his seat again.

"Xian Pu, one word please…?"

Shampoo blinked.

"Any word?"

"I think he means he wants to talk to you." Akane whispered, staring with a scowl at her father. He refused to make eye contact.

"Oh. Okay…"

The two Amazon rose from the table and walked outside, hiding behind one of the panels of the foyer. They heard them whispering to each other for a moment. A dead heavy silent followed. Then a sharp smack and a grunt. Mr Pu reappeared in their camp of sight as he collapsed out cold on his back. Shampooo stepped on his stomach to re-enter the house and scowled darkly at Soun.

"Japan mens very bad influence!" She spat. "Father no ever come drink again!"

"What are you…Dad, what did you do?!"

Soun looked regally at them before bolting for the door. He knew Ranma was, in essence, a boy, but seeing women staring at him from all angles, some of them already scowling, was a most frightening audience to voice his views about the homage Japanese social pyramid.

The room was big but it had too many things on it. Shampoo had been there before, but only now did she have the opportunity to really take a look at it. There were shelves saddled with some books and a desk, a bed with silky mattresses and lots of cushions and a few stuffed animals. She grabbed a small kitten.

"How you like this so much? It like dead animal."

Akane finally turned, switching her attention from the futon she was rolling on the floor. Shampoo took advantage of the opening and threw the stuffed kitten at her face. The young Tendo caught it deftly before it hit her.

"No, it's not! It's cute!"

"Glossy stare, stiff fur. It exactly like dead animal."

Akane glared at her a moment as she walked back to the shelf. Shampoo wandered to the futon where she would sleep. She knew Akane had insisted she stay so their parents could drink sake and play soyu for a few hours. The girl was too trusting. One should not sleep with the enemy…

"Shampoo?"

"What?"

"I think you shouldn't hit your father like that. He's not like us."

"Akane, no-warrior still people."

Akane rolled her eyes and set the stuffed kitten back on its place, next to some school books. She stared at it a moment, noticing for the first time how its eyes of plastic gleamed at the light of the lone lamp on her nightstand. She had never seen a dead cat before but the idea sickened her now. With an angry sigh, she turned the stuffed animal around and walked to the bed.

"It's wrong to hit someone that can't defend themselves."

"Not always…"

Shampoo turned off the lights and Akane heard a dry thud. Scowling, the young Tendo climb on the bed and turned the lights back on. The Amazon lay on her side, facing away from her. It seemed Akane would have this conversation with her back.

"It's _always_ wrong. Does your great-grandmother hurt you when you don't do what she asks?"

"Yes."

"…Does Ranma?"

"…No."

"Don't you like that better?" Shampoo did not answer but Akane smiled. It was a winning argument. She slipped into bed and threw the covers over herself "You should treat your father like Ranma treats you."

There was no answer and so she turned off the lights. It was hard for the ego to be corrected sometimes. She didn't like it when others confronted her about her faults either. The Amazon could sleep on it. Akane leaned into a pillow and wondered briefly where P-chan could be. She missed the warm round little thing when it was time to sleep.

"No hit back who no can defend self...It matter of honor, yes? "

Akane blinked at the sudden question. A familiar warm feeling spread in her chest. People could say whatever they wanted but she knew Shampoo wasn't evil. She was just misguided. With the correct guidance, the Amazon would prove to be a very good friend. Akane was sure. She turned on her side to face the girl's back again.

"It is a matter of honor."

"Why you hit Ranma all time then?"

"I don't hit him all the time!" Came the automatic answer and even when it was dark, Akane knew her face was blushing furiously. "He's a loud mouthed jerk sometimes…"

"But he no hit back because we no can defend selfs." Shampoo pointed out. "He honor bound, yes? And because he no can hit back, then he no can defend self. So you honor bound no hit either."

Now it was Akane's turn to sulk in silence. The moral codes stated a man should not hit a woman. There were no clarifications or explanations attached. But…perhaps Shampoo had a point. Akane knew it was _always_ wrong to hurt helpless people. But Ranma could take it…and even though he never hit with his fists, his mouth could be far more harmful.

Did two wrongs made a right?

"I swear I'll never hit Ranma again." Akane stated softly, making the promise to Shampoo as much as to herself. "But you've got to promise you won't hit your father either."

"Okay. If you no hit Airen, I no hit father."

"It's a deal then."

"I still no understand why you care."

"I just do…"

It was the last thing they said to each other. It wasn't long before Akane heard the soft deep breathing that signaled sleep. Such easiness to catch sleep made her jealous. It was hard for Akane to get the necessary peace of mind to drift off quickly. And that night, it would prove to be more difficult than usual.


	6. Hentai

The pressure at the back of her eyeballs was intense and it took all of her will-power not to jump on the offending bitch and beat her brains out. Akane had waked up a few minutes ago to find the futon next to her bed empty. She had searched all over the house for Shampoo to find her in Ranma's room…cuddling with him in the futon.

Ranma slept like a log. Akane closed her eyes, taking in deep breaths to calm down. He didn't know what Shampoo was doing. It was not his fault. It was Shampoo's. Akane knelt next to them and poked her sharply on the ribs. Shampoo started awake and flinched back slightly by the sight of a glowing Akane kneeling right next to her.

"What The Hell're you doing?!"

"Cuddling with husband."

Shampoo smiled impudently, hugging Ranma closer. He stirred and smiled, hugging the Amazon closer and letting out a thundering snore. She moaned approvingly and rubbed her face all over his chest. Akane saw red. A ghostly voice whispered in her brain, urging her to remember the promise of the previous night. She stormed out of the room but before Shampoo could wake Ranma with a kiss- as she intended- the youngest Tendo sister was back, armed with a bucket. She threw the cold water on them.

Ranma bolt upwards, sputtering and screeching. She whirled on Akane and demanded an explanation. None was given. The small kitten cuddling between her legs was a hint, whatsoever, of what had occurred. It was the last rational thought crossing Ranma's mind. Akane murmured crossly under her breath as her groom-to-be raced down the corridor, howling at the top of her lungs with a yowling kitten grabbing for dear life to her skull.

Ukyo shuffled towards school. She hoped all the gossiping about the events at the Zoo had quieted down over the weekend. It had been stupid to hope the news was never spread in the first place. Of course there would be a girl from their same class at the Zoo to witness the attack. And of course that the girl would ran and tell everything to all the other girls she knew and all the other girls would tell others... The cut grazing her face did little to help the matter.

She stopped before reaching Furinkan's gates. She took in a deep breath and set her face with the fiercest scowl she could master. The Chef stomped forward the rest of the way, her fists clenched tightly. She made sure her battle spatula caught the sun where she stood. Its sharp end gleamed dangerously. Eyes turned to stare but were quickly averted. No one wanted to mess with one-pissed-off of the Terrible Eight. Satisfied with the lack of comments and mocking faces, Ukyo relaxed slightly and strode forward. Her victory was short lived, however. Every set of eyes fixed on her once again as the tell-tale ring of a bell was heard in the distance.

Shampoo halted her bike brusquely in front of Furinkan High, the wheels screeching loudly in protest. Akane jumped down, suppressing the urge to kiss the ground. She had made the mistake of complaining she would be late again. The Amazon's approach to the problem was simple: speeding in a hellish ride through the city with that bike. It was amazing the thing didn't break with the insane jumps she did.

"So sad Ranma no come too."

Akane winced. She felt guilty. The fact Ranma usually hurt himself in his cat-induced frenzies never crossed her mind when she dozed Shampoo with cold water.

"Stop getting into his bed without his permission." She told the Amazon tartly. "It annoys him, you know."

Shampoo did not answer and Akane turned to her. She had that strange expression on her face, one that usually precluded episodes of violence and pain. It was not directed to her. Akane turned quickly and found the whole student population of Furinkan High staring at them. She frowned and spotted Nabiki hurrying away from a pack of drooling boys…

Kuno Tatewaki had a hard head. It allowed him to take several blows to the cranium without suffering the repercussions. Or perhaps it didn't and there was brain damage already. That would explain his inability to process simple commands and directives such as: do not touch a girl that does not want you to.

"Xian Pu of China!" He said, hugging a stunned Akane tightly against his chest and pointing his wooden sword at Shampoo. "I understand the depths of your passion, but heed my warning! This fair woman is mine!"

Shampoo blinked. Akane was less subtle and slammed his knee into his guts. Kuno bent slightly over, a pained moan slipping from his slips. He did not let go, however and straightened. His voice was choked as he spoke again.

"If you insist upon your query, I shall fight you. And though I, the great Tatewaki Kuno, despise to raise a hand against one of the weakest sex, I'm obliged by duty and the sheer power of my passion!"

Shampoo scowled at him.

"You call me weak?"

A ghostly cackled floated in the wind and silenced Furinkan. Kuno blinked as a red ribbon coiled around him and tightened. Its handler, Kodachi The Black Rose, landed behind him and pointed an ominous finger at him.

"Brother dear! You will not interfere!"

She yanked the ribbon hard, sending Kuno rocketing to the stratosphere. Another hideous cackle left her throat and many of the witnessing students covered their ears, horrified by that sound.

"Have my blessings!" She cackled dancing around Shampoo and Akane, throwing petals of black roses everywhere. "My blessings! Ohohoohohohoohohoo! Ranma-darling! Here I am now! Your true love!"

"Is all crazy people…"

Shampoo murmured, climbing to her bike and speeding away. Akane nodded absently and entered school grounds, struggling to ignore the staring eyes.

Ranma slammed the door open. The professor glared at him.

"Mr Saotome, you're late! Again! Stop jumping over the gates!"

"Yes, Mr Assy."

Ranma mumbled and crawled to his desk. Ukyo-who sat next to him- noticed the thin cuts gracing his neck. She looked over at Akane, sitting on the other side. Their eyes met briefly.

"Hey, Ran-chan? You okay?"

"She's there when I wake up…she's there when I sleep…" Ranma mumbled, his left eye twitching slightly. "…she'll be here when I leave…"

"Akane?"

"The cat-girl…its she…the cat-girl…" Ranma turned and smiled at her, a tight neurotic smile. "Akane brings her into the house, you see? They are friends now…_Friends_….."

Ukyo looked over at Akane again. The girl was busy explaining something to the sickly bastard that was Gosunguki. Ranma was talking about Shampoo. Their friendship was putting strain on her relationship with Ranma and the idiot didn't seem to realize it. Ukyo smiled widely, then felt bad for Ranma…and smiled broadly again.

"Poor Ranma. I was shocked myself!"

Ukyo blinked and turned to Sayuri, sitting behind her.

"What do you mean?"

Sayuri glanced around to make sure everyone in the near vicinity was listening to her. Then she leaned forward and delivered the shocking information:

"Shampoo and Akane are lovers."

"WHAT!?"

"MSS KUONJI!"

Ukyo flinched and sat straight. The Professor glared at her a moment before continuing his explanation behind the economic crisis of the 30'. Ranma scratched absently at the cuts on his necks and shuddered. Gosunguki asked something else to Akane. She slowly turned back to Sayuri.

"What're you talking about?"

Yuro, sitting next to her, handed her a picture.

"Holy shit…!" Ukyo hissed.

"I was shocked too."

"I was kinda horny."

"Dude! Me too!"

Suddenly, the entire class was talking about it. Eventually, the Professor dropped the chalk and walked out and it dawned on Akane that the conversation was about her. A picture fell on her hands. Her eyes bulged out of their sockets and she jumped to her feet, howling:

"NABIKI!"

She stomped out of the classroom. The clamor of gossiping voices intensified.

"Ran-chan!" Ukyo beamed. "You understand what this means?"

Ranma did not answer, gaping openly at the picture on his hands. It showed Shampoo- drops of water gliding down her glorious naked body-leaning over a blushing soapy Akane. Their lips hovered so very close to each other's, as if about to land a gentle kiss…


	7. Fun time's over

Dummy Perception: I can't harass you privately, so I answer here: Because she's a bitch! :D I think her only limit comes when a mother's involved. :D

Akane wandered the halls of Furinkan High, trying to ignore the eyes following her every move and the whispered-and not so whispered- jokes and nasty comments about her and Shampoo.

It had being a slow painful day, fruitful in teachings about the treacherous nature of people. In the face of weirdness, her so called friends had abandoned her at the mercy of the gossiping crowd. Some of them had joined it, actively sharing rumors, comments and theories. But the horrors of girl's treachery paled in comparison to that of the transformation the male population went through in the face of the cursed pictures. From polite funny fellows, they had all turned into lustful drooling big-mouthed pervs.

Ranma looked unaffected. He had gone about the daily school routine as always, hanging with friends, dancing his way to the front line of the cafeteria and not doing his homework. Akane was afraid to approach him, even in her loneliness. He acted cool but said the most hurtful things when he was upset.

The day had come to an end and she searched for him. It was time to go home and the time to save face was over. Whatever he said, she could deal with in peace for the rest of the weekend.

"It's bullshit." Ranma asserted crossly, ignoring the pictures Daisuke insisted on showing him.

"Shampoo's all over you, granted. But this'd explain why Akane hates your guts."

"Na, she hates him 'cause he's a jerk." Hiroshi disagreed, his nose still bleeding for the sight the only picture he had being able to afford blessed him with. "Shampoo sure looks like the expert, though."

Ranma snorted. People were so retarded sometimes. Shampoo was in love with him. After that stupid jewel incident there should be no doubt left about that. Akane loved him too and he didn't care what they had to say about that. He smiled faintly. He missed her.

"Danger, danger! Our man's getting horny!" Daisuke screamed.

"Can blame him?"

"Ranma, dude, if you ain't careful, they'll move to China and marry before you know it."

"Gimme a break…"

The loud-mouthed dumbass was about to say something else when he noticed Akane approaching. Daisuke regarded her suspiciously. Hiroshi blew his bleeding nose in a napkin and wiped the drool leaking from his mouth.

"Ranma? Are you ready? To go home?"

"Sure!"

They walked in silence for a while. When Daisuke and Hiroshi were at a safe distance, Akane whispered to him.

"Do you want to ask something…?"

"Look, Akane, I don't give a crap about the pictures, okay? I know it was Nabiki."

It felt like a sudden overwhelming weight simply lifted off her shoulders. Overwhelming relief was followed by a warm feeling spreading all over her chest. It was love, something she had feared but now accepted. Ranma was loyal and noble…in his own weird way.

"I was kinda freaked at first…" He continued, ignoring the crowd of students around them prompting him with frantic waves to shut up. "You're a tomboy and all, it got me thinking…But Shampoo's so feminine and all. She'd kind of be the girl'f the couple, uh?"

He laughed until Akane snarled and kicked him so hard, he rocketed full speed backwards and slammed against the front-wall of the school. It cracked on impact.

Ranma peeled off the wall and dropped to the floor. A pained moan slipped his lips. He raised his head off the dirt and watched Akane storming out of the School's grounds. The bitch couldn't take a freacking joke. He jumped to his feet and was rammed back to the floor by a powerful blow.

"Ranma Saotome!" Kuno howled, his rabid eyes filled with tears. He raised his wooden sword from Ranma's skull and prepared to slam it back on his head. "You are to blame for this disastrous event!"

Ranma snarled and jumped back to his feet, sending the idiot on his back reeling backwards.

"Ranma! Prepare to die!"

A weeping Ryoga was charging towards him. Kuno attacked. Ranma smiled ferally.

"Just what I needed..."

Akane hid in her room, trying to find comfort in solitude. She missed P-chan. Animals were simple creatures. They asked only affection and food for their loyalty and love. There were no lies, no ulterior-motives, no mean words…

There was a soft knock on the door.

"Akane?"

"Go away."

The door swung open and _everyone_ trooped in. Her father led the charge.

"Akane!" He roared. "What is this about you and Shampoo being together?!"

Akane fixed her tear-stricken eyes on Nabiki. The middle Tendo sister paled slightly and hid behind Kasumi.

"Ask her!" Akane snarled

Kasumi, Soun and the fat panda that was Uncle Genma turned their attention to Nabiki. She crossed her arms.

"The pictures are altered." They scowled darkly. She scowled back. "What? I made enough money to repair all the damage Akane's fiance and her little friend do to the house…and Akane's own contribution to the demolitions…"

All set of eyes fell back on Akane.

"You humiliated me in front of the whole school!"

"Well, that was a good scare! Isn't that right, Saotome-kun?" Soun laughed.

The panda gurgled, producing a wooden sign.

"_Indeed it was, Tendo-kun!"_

"Well, Mr Pu, I guess everything's fine then!"

Akane blinked and turned. She screeched and jumped off the bed, startled out of her guts by the sight of Mr Pu standing right next to the bed.

"Two female no produce heir." The Amazon said, following Soun and Genma out of the room. "Happy daughter no gay."

"I wish you would stop doing this kind of things, Nabiki. It's just not right."

"Everyone'll forget in a week." Nabiki said off-handedly.

The door closed softly and Akane was alone in her room once again. She slumped into her bed and closed her eyes, hoping to fall asleep soon.

Ranma had underestimated Kuno and Ryoga this time. It didn't matter how hard he hit them, the two bastards crawled back to their feet for more. It took hours to get rid of them. With a pig wandering the dark streets of Nerima and Kuno in the Hospital, Ranma could finally go home.

Kuno and Ryoga were mad with rage about the rumors of Akane and Shampoo being together. They blamed him for her abrupt change of heart. Ukyo, in an attempt to stop the fight, had tried to explain that people were just born gay. It came out in the open late because society imposed shames and fears that needed to be dealt with…

His mind replayed those words over and over again. His eyes lowered to the surviving picture clutched between bloody fingers. There was nothing fake in Akane's tender eyes or the gentle touch of Shampoo's delicate fingers on her shoulder…

"Bullshit..."

Ranma threw the picture over his shoulder and continued shuffling back to the Dojo.

_Akane was alone in a dark room. Something was out there, stalking her. She couldn't see it. She couldn't move. It was going to hurt her but she couldn't escape. _

_The cat stared at her with big golden eyes. It was a free creature, above good and evil. It was above death. It yowled and approached. Akane didn't want it to touch her. Its claws nailed painfully into her flesh. It crawled up her body, digging its claws on her flesh, reaching her face, ripping the flesh at her neck, opening widely its fanged mouth…_

Akane bolted upright in the bed, letting out a strangled cry. Her wide terrified eyes darted around the room. It was too dark to see. There was something out there. She grabbed the dao sword resting next to the bed and lashed out at the smothering shadows.

It hit something. Akane paled and tried to pull the weapon back. It was stuck. Her free hand flailed about in the darkness for the switch of the lamp. She never found it but light burst into the room. The sudden brightness hurt her eyes but she kept them open to locate the stalking intruder.

Eventually, Akane was able to see Shampoo's haughty face in the white light. Her eyes darted to the end of her sable and found it tangled in a three-sectional staff.

"Spatula Girl congratulate Shampoo for getting out of closet." Shampoo's eyes glinted dangerously as she released both the lamp-switch and Akane's dao. "I not understand so she explain. What is you doing?"

"Excuse me?!"

Akane snapped, setting the sword back on its hiding place behind the bed. A vengeful impulse prompted her to rat Nabiki out but common sense soon overrode it. A more controlled and civilized individual should have the task of giving her sister a lesson.

"It wasn't me." She said with a sigh and slumped back on the bed. She had enough sense no to turn off the light. "If you want to fight, we'll do it tomorrow. I'm tired now."

Shampoo jumped on the bed and straddled her.

"Is you telling people we lover so Airen hate me?"

"No!" Akane said in a strangled voice "Get off me!"

Shampoo's lips twisted into a vulpine smile. She leaned forward. Akane's eyes bulged.

"Wha-what are you doing?!"

Shampoo did not answer. Their noses touched and then her lips. Akane bolted from the bed, throwing the Amazon off. She flattened against the wall and stared, horrified, at her uninvited guest. Shampoo looked at her with huge tearful eyes.

"What happen? I thought…? Ukyo said…"

"No!" Akane howled "No, no, no!"

The heart-broken look on Shampoo's face was like a blow to the stomach. The blood drained from Akane's face. Her hammering heart skipped a beat. Her frantic mind questioned if she had peed on her pants and then wondered what the hell she was going to do? How did this happen? How would she fix it?!

Shampoo smiled and fell back on the bed, laughing hysterically.

"Aiya! Baka!"

"Nani?"

Ranma reached Akane's room. He had eaten, made some exercise, fought his father and took a bath. He felt ready to confront her. It was a bit late but it was now or never…

"SHAMPOO, NO BAKA!"

The door exploded outwards and flattened Ranma to the floor. Shampoo ran down the corridor, laughing hysterically. Akane speeded after her with a wooden katana tightly clasped between her fingers.

"You stupid, insensitive jerk!"

Ranma crawled from under the door, blinking in confusion.

"I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!"

He joined Kasumi, Nabiki, Soun and Genma downstairs. Akane was trying to beat the crap out of Shampoo, insulting and accusing her of many things. Ranma felt an uncomfortable- and strange- pang of jealousy.

"But Akane!" Shampoo laughed. "Wo ai ni!"

They paled. Nabiki climb back upstairs.

"This's being blown way out of proportion."

"I wasn't aware Shampoo was gay." Kasumi whispered to Ranma. "She seemed so fond of you. Oh, but then you do turn into a girl…"

Ranma was about to retort when something slam into the back of his head. An angry panda towered over him with a sign that read in furious red letters:

"_What are you waiting for, boy? Go and get her before it's too late!"_

"AGREE!"

Soun and Genma grabbed Ranma and threw him over to the girls just as Akane was swinging her staff towards Shampoo's head. The Amazon ducked. Ranma blinked once before the weapon connected right into his forehead, sending him back against Genma and Soun. They grunted on impact and fell in their butts.

"Aiya! Airen!"

Shampoo's mirth ended abruptly and she caught Akane's staff in the next swing. She pulled but the Amazon's hold did not budge.

"You break promise, Akane!"

"Let. Go."

Shampoo smirked.

"Make me…"

The wooden staff groaned under the strain as both girls stared into each other's eyes. Akane finally lashed out, kicking as hard as she could. Shampoo jumped perched on the staff like a bird and stuck her tongue out at her. The Tendo girl smirked and pulled at the staff but the Amazon didn't lose her footing. She simply jumped to a new perch: Akane's head.

"Slow as cow!" She taunted.

The staff dropped to the floor and Akane slumped slightly. Shampoo cocked her head to the side curiously and jumped down.

"Am I only a joke to you?" Akane asked in a choked tone, her eyes hidden by shadows.

"What you mean?"

"Just get out of my house. And stop getting into my room!"

"Stop getting into her room!" Soun howled into the Amazon's ear, the sheer power of the scream blowing her hair to the side. "Akane will marry Ranma, share their lives! Then they will inherit the Anything-Goes Martial Arts Dojo!"

"Stop making decisions for me!"

Soun gasped and slumped against Genma's broad belly by the sheer violence of the outburst. He stared at Akane like a kicked puppy. When Akane's eyes fell on him, the panda quickly produced a sign.

"_New times, new rules!"_

"That is enough, Akane." Kasumi said as sternly as she could manage. "We should all go back to bed. It is rather late. We can talk about this tomorrow."

"Right…"

Akane stomped her way back into her room. The sight of the broken door filled her with frustration and rage. Her rabid eyes searched for something to replace it with. The bed looked about the right size. She grabbed it and prepared to ram it into the door's frame when Shampoo walked in. It took all of her will power not to throw it at her.

"Everything get very hard if you love Shampoo, see…" She said, glancing at the broken door. "I wanted make sure you no really pervert."

Akane slammed the bed down on its proper place and whirled on the Amazon.

"You should have asked! You mock me all the time; you are just like…Just go away!"

Shampoo picked the door and managed to set it carefully back into the frame, bending the hinges to secure it. It was not going to open again, but she didn't seem to care.

"People no make fun of Shamoo. Not here not in Nujie Zu. No one tells what do. Only Elders, but that is law. You no make self be respected. So everyone makes fun right to you face."

Akane was suddenly reminded of all the horrible things she went through at school. How Yuko had avoided her all day and Sayuri mocked her with other girls. The boys acted like drooling brutes, but that wasn't new. Ranma and Shampoo had more mockery to share and her family did not respect her at all. Perhaps Shampoo was right and being loyal and caring with the people she loved was not enough to win their respect. Feeling exhausted, Akane slumped into the bed and closed her eyes.

Shampoo sat next to her.

"Make people be afraid of you, Akane and they no ever make fun of you to face."

She wanted to say that that was wrong but lacked the necessary conviction. She shook her head. It was wrong. This had been a weird day. In a week, everyone would forget. Maybe sooner if some weirdo popped by to challenge her or Ranma. They liked the spectacle and they had always been there to help her when she hurt herself. She had always been there also to watch their backs. Why did they have to stab her in the back? Why did Ranma have to be such a jerk to her? Why did her family never care how she felt or what she thought?

A pained moan slipped her lips and she covered her face. She couldn't help it. She started crying. It had been just too much for one single day.

Shampoo smirked. She had made an art of the deadly Weeping Girl Attack. If Akane really thought she would fell for it, she was in for a nasty surprise. It was good that she listened, though. Trying to get back at her was a good first step to become a better warrior and a respected individual.

"Is goo try, Akane. But no start with me. Start with silly people at School, okay?"

The bitter sobbing and whimpering continued. Shampoo hesitated. It was too good of an act for someone like Akane. She studied the girl carefully. She poked her on the head. Akane continued crying. Slowly, very carefully, Shampoo hopped closer. Nothing changed. She placed a hand on her shoulder. Nothing…

"Is you really crying?"

"Yes, you dumbass!"

The funny moment became awkward and Shampoo clutched her hands tightly at her lap. Her eyes darted to the window. It would be wise to leave. There wasn't much she could-or should-do. She discarded those thoughts. Akane had been with her when her mother's skull broke. It was only fair she was there to help mend a broken heart.

"It waste of time and energy to cry when other hurt you, Akane. You have to go and hurt them back so they no dare hurt you again."

"You hurt me, should I hurt you back!?"

"No, because I hurt you worse then. I superior, so you take what I give. But all the others you do what you want because is you who hurt them more!"

Akane stared at her for a long time. Her expression was not very reassuring.

"Are you insane?! You don't bully people! You don't hurt them back! You just don't hurt people who care about you!"

"But you hurt Ranma and…"

"And it's wrong! And how he hurts me is wrong too!"

"Then why you keep doing it?"

"I don't know."

They sat in silence for a while. Shampoo was content at least the weeping storm had stopped but Akane still looked miserable. It was a strange tendency among outsiders, to complicate the simple matters of life. The strongest and most intelligent people got their way. Tigers did not mourn over the suffering of the deer…

"I'm tired, Shampoo…" Akane mumbled sullenly. "Please, go home. We can talk tomorrow…"

Shampoo hit her sharply on the back of the head, knocking her out cold. She slugged the unconscious girl over her should and jumped out the window.


	8. Are you freaking gay!

**Dummy Perception: **Yey! Its important to keep her adorable, or else she's just a scary sociopath. :D Shampoo is like Squishy!

**VlightPhase; **Oh, don't worry.My stalker abilities allowed me to seek your profile and send you a PMI=D Muahahaha!

Thank you for all the reviews! Yey!

* * *

><p>The air was filled with the joyful chorus of a hundred birds. The warmth air and a gentle breeze brought the wondrous scent of wild flowers. The sun was a blanket and the wet grass the comfiest of beds. Akane opened her eyes with a smile. Her eyes bulged out of their sockets and she sat. It was a mistake. A sharp pain stirred on the back of her head. After the initial jolt, Akane ignored it and stared in shock at her surroundings.<p>

A broad lake gleamed at her feet under the glorious sun above. Wild ducks swan in the distance and white herons strutted by the shore in search of food. Hundreds of insects and small birds danced above the surface. The broad meadow where she sat and the lake were shielded by walls of trees and bushes, some with flowers. The sheer beauty of unspoiled nature stole briefly her trepidation.

"Good morning!"

Akane yowled and staggered to her feet and found Shampoo standing calmly behind her. Anger, confusion and trepidation returned with a vengeance.

"What's going on? Where are we?"

"Somewhere…" Shampoo answered coyly with a small smile grazing her lips.

Akane wondered if she was dreaming but the stinging pain at the back of her head was silent proof that what was happening was real. She grabbed Shampoo by the collar of her shirt.

"Why are we here and where is here?!"

"You stupid city person no understand how world work. I teach you here."

"No, it's you who don't understand anything!" Akane raged. "You are taking me back home, _now_!"

"No."

Akane shuddered with rage. She wanted to pummel the arrogant bitch to the ground and drop what was left on the lake. Shampoo stared calmly at her, her eyes and face completely void of guilt or fear. With a sigh, Akane released her and stormed to the edge of the clearing.

"I'm going home!"

"Lesson 1, Akane." Shampoo's hateful voice followed her. "You is helpless here. Get in woods, you get lost. You starve to death. If you lucky, snake or spider bite you or bear rip you apart."

Akane stopped dead on her tracks. She looked into the forest and what had been beautiful from distance, looked dark and threatening up close. She could suddenly hear the hissing snakes and the haunting wails and howls of wild beasts. The sun and trees drew ominous shadows in every corner, all of which seemed to move, waiting impatiently for her to venture into their mist.

"You stay with me and is safe." Akane flinched back. Shampoo was standing calmly next to her. "I leave note for family and this nice place. You trust me, okay?"

Akane looked back at the forest, then at the lake and back at Shampoo. It didn't seem like she had much of a choice. It was a wonderful place and it seemed proper to scare her family with her absence after what they did to her the previous day. It would serve them right.

"You let them know I'm okay?"

"Yes! I left note for Kasumi to find!"

Akane nodded and smiled despite herself. The note would be enough to put Kasumi at ease and she was the only one Akane didn't want to upset. Shampoo hugged her.

"Yey! This going be so fun! We take bath and eat!"

Shampoo missed the horrified look on Akane's face as she removed her cloths. She stood shamelessly nude in the middle of the clearing, drinking in the warmth sunlight and the gentle breeze. Akane glanced fearfully at the lake.

"How deep is it?"

"I don't know. I think deep enough. Is clean."

"Maybe later…What are we going to eat?"

"Fish!"

Shampoo grabbed her hand and started dragging her towards the lake. Akane tried to snatch her hand back. It seemed nothing short of a blow would set her free. They were at the shore and Akane blurted out the shameful confession.

"I can't swim!"

"What?"

"I-I can't swim."

"Why not?"

"I don't know…"

Akane looked at the gleaming surface of the lake. She had grown to despise lakes and pools and the sea. They represented an insuperable obstacle, an unbeatable opponent and the greatest shame obscuring her life.

"No be shy, come on!"

Shampoo grabbed her hand and jumped. Akane screamed as they flew straight to the center of the lake. The cold water took her breath away. She grabbed onto Shampoo desperately as they sank to the bottom. The Amazon banished under her fingers in a surge of bubbles. Akane was alone in the depths of the lake, staring at the startled fish and waving alga. She kicked and flailed desperately, winning the surface. Birds and wild beasts froze at the alien frightening sounds that were her screams for help.

Water rushed down Akane's mouth and nose. The lake swallowed her down again. Her arms no longer had the strength to keep her in the surface. Her kicking grew erratic. It seemed Ranma would not jump out of nowhere to save her this time. He had warmed her about Shampoo. Everyone had and she had ignored them all. Her eyes glazed over and the struggle stopped. It was futile. She was just sinking deeper and deeper…

As her body hit the sandy bottom, her eyes caught a white blurry form floating before her. It took her a moment to process what it was. The white cat directed distorted mews at her. Its paws kicked the water rhythmically. It was just so cute!

The cat bit her sharply on the nose. The jolt of pain startled Akane. She suddenly remembered where she was. She was drowning. She was going to die…

Shampoo yowled and rolled around in front of her. She kicked the water rhythmically with her paws. Akane twisted around so that her stomach was facing the sandy depths. The kitten moved in front of her, kicking the water with her four lavender paws. Akane mimicked the motions, hesitantly at first but more vividly when she realized it was working. The gleaming surface was right above her. She kicked harder and broke free of the choking liquid. Air, wonderful air, was her rightful reward.

Shampoo mewed and yowled, swimming in circles around her. Akane ignored her and swan clumsily towards the shore. She crawled out of the water, letting out a thunderous belch as she slumped in the mud. Her lungs ached horribly and the air burnt as it passed through her nostrils. Her water-filled ears caught faintly the constant meows at her side. It was a sound that accompanied her into the depths of unconsciousness…

Shampoo sat in the grass. Akane said she couldn't swim because she didn't know how. It was insane. To Nujiezu swimming was essential to survival. They born in the water and the babies swam for hours each day. It strengthened their muscles and prepared their lungs to endure the rigors of hard-pressed exercise when they were older. Her ears flattened slightly and she wagged her tail, startling a dragonfly perched nearby. Babies who lacked the skill or endurance drowned. Elders said it was a necessary filter.

Shampoo liked her fur, brushing it with her raspy tongue and swallowing the water dripping from it. She was hungry and it didn't seem like Akane would wake up anytime soon. Her ears moved to catch better the chirping of the birds.

Akane stirred. Her chest hurt and it was cold. She took a hand to her dripping nose and rubbed it, daubing mud all over her mouth. Moaning in disgust, Akane opened her eyes and looked numbly around for a napkin. There was only grass and more mud. There were also feathers and a white cat licking its lavender paws…

"**Shampoo**!" Akane grabbed the unexpected cat, half strangling her. "You are taking me home, **now**!"

Akane's eyes were burning and for the first time in years, Shampoo felt fear. It was taking time to adjust to the idea that, in her cat form, she was vulnerable. Instead of giving her the beating of a lifetime, however, Akane simply rammed her into the mud and crawled away to discharge the rest of her rage on the only backpack brought for the trip.

"You didn't bring any of my clothes!?" Akane snarled after throwing out everything on the backpack.

Shampoo extracted herself from the mud. Her tail held high, the small muddy cat jumped back into the water and walked back out with an immaculate white fur. Her eyes widened and she hissed angrily at Akane.

"Shut up!" Akane snarled back and bottomed close one of Shampoo's silky blouses. "Mine are drenched because of you and you just brought things for you!"

The cat hissed and yowled.

"I _don't_ understand you, you-you stupid cat-girl!" Akane raged but removed the golden kettle Shampoo kept pointing at. "Tell me you at least brought matches or something…"

Shampoo stretched, a pleased moan slipping her lips. It was not unpleasant to be a cat. She could hear, smell and see things completely undetected by human senses. Hunting was especially rewarding. Still, it was always exhilarating to recover her true form. She could feel once again the warm breeze caressing her naked skin. The only thing ruining the moment of primal pleasure was Akane's bellowing.

"…a sleep-bag or a tent?! And what are we supposed to eat?!"

"Stop whining, Akane." She answered tartly. "We sleep on the ground under the stars."

"No! We go back. It's getting cold. What if it rains? And what about the food?! "

"We stay. It not going to rain. Food is in water and in trees. You just need catch it."

"Fine. Stay. I'm going home."

Akane marched to the edge of the clearing and regarded the dark woods. Her angry expression slowly shifted to one of trepidation. She could hear again the haunting hisses and howls in the distance. She stepped into the looming shadows of the first row of trees. She was inside. Now it was moving forward or back down in defeat. Before she could take another step, however, Shampoo spoke.

"Many year ago fierce Emperor of China found a horse swimming in the sea. It was most beautiful horse any human ever see. It was gentle but very fierce and it took great effort to tame. He rode that mount in all his great conquests across the Byankalas.

One day, he took army back near sea. The smell of water and the sound of roaring waves maddened the horse. The Emperor hit it with whip and yanked the reins cruelly but the horse no stop its charge. It jumped over the tall cliffs to dive in the waters.

People find the Emperor body in sand of shore days later. The horse drowned with him."

Akane turned slowly to regard Shampoo.

"Sea-horse never forget what it was but it forgot how to be what it was. The day you get use to sad life, Akane, is the day you die."

Goose-bumps rose over her arms and neck. The blood drained from her face. Akane knew she wasn't like other girls. Everything she was supposed to do well, she did wrong. What everyone expected of her, she did not want-or could- give. And for the first time in her life, someone planted a small seed of doubt in her heart. Was failure _her_ fault?

Akane walked back towards the clearing. Shampoo smiled and they walked back together to the shore of the lake.

Kasumi liked to rise first. When everyone slept, the house was in silence and in peace. It was a little cold, though. She entered the kitchen and set water to boil. As she reached for the pantry, she found a note fixed to it. It read in stylish letters.

"_Matriarch of the Tendo Clan of Japan:_

_Akane and I going camping. Please, no worries and mind own business._

_Regards,_

_Xian Pu._

_PD: If father abuse hospitality, please feel free to punch in face and send back to Nekohanten."_

"Oh, my…What a terrible grammar…"

"Gone? What do you mean she's gone!?"

The panda sat suddenly, black ears twitching. Next to him, Ranma groaned and stirred. He rubbed the mark of Akane's weapon still beating on his forehead.

"Akaneeee..." There was an angry stomping outside, followed by eerie wails of anguish. "Akane? Akaneeee!"

"Graurgh?"

"Stupid uncute flat chested tomboy…." Ranma grumbled crossly, siting up. "Head hurts…"

Soun Tendo walked through the thin fabric-walls. He collapsed before Ranma, grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and shook him violently. .

"Akane's gone!"

"I'm so glad Shampoo and Akane are becoming such good friends!"

Kasumi sipped sedately from her tea-cup. Nabiki's eyes narrowed. She wondered just what kind of tea her older sister drank.

"Mr Pu, I am offended, worried and enraged." Soun grabbed Shampoo's father by the collar of his robe and shook him violently. "Where did your crazy daughter took my little girl!"

"No know!" The Amazon moaned. "She no say I no ask!"

Soun's demon head rose from the shadows, towering over the whimpering Mr Pu.

"WHY DIDNT YOU ASK!?"

"Maybe Akane went willingly." Nabiki said.

Everyone stared at her for a long time. Then Soun shook Mr Pu more violently. Ranma ran out the door. After a stunned silence, everyone ran after him. Alone once again, Kasumi gathered the dirty dishes and walked to the kitchen, humming softly to herself.

Ryoga Hibiki shuffled across the deserted streets of Nerima. He needed to find the Tendo Dojo or Furinkan High School. He needed to speak with Tendo Akane, the love of his life. He glanced at the picture in his hand and his eyes filled with tears. He was expecting Ranma to steal Akane forever from him…not Shampoo. Not another girl, not someone he could not fight.

Ryoga fell to his knees and wailed his anguish to the skies.

"Oh, why, Akane-san!? Why?!"

Ranma flew passed him like a bullet and went through the doors of the building Ryoga was standing next to. Glass shattered and wood splintered.

"Shampoo!"

Ryoga blinked and leaned over the hole to peer inside. Ranma's angry bellows grew fainter as he stormed his way deeper into the Nekohanten. A panda shoved him roughly to enter. A disheveled Soun Tendo in his pajamas entered next.

"Shampoo!"

Ryoga ran after them. He could understand blinding rage but Shampoo was a girl. Ranma couldn't win Akane back with a fight this time. It was wrong. Besides, it wasn't the girl's fault. She was just another victim of Ranma's mistreatments.

"Ranma!" Ryoga snarled and prepared to attack as his nemesis ran back towards him. "Be a man for once and take responsibility for what you've done!"

He threw a punch at Ranma's face. The next thing he knew, his face was pressed against the floor and every move stirred fresh waves of pain across his arm and back.

"Shampoo's kidnapped Akane, pork face." Ranma growled right on his ear, pressing him harder against the floor. "Either help or get outta my way!"

The painful hold on his twisted arm was released and the smothering weight on his back lifted. Ryoga jumped to his feet so that Genma could throw him face-first to the floor again in his hurry to keep up with Ranma. The half-naked Soun stepped on his neck. Growling darkly, Ryoga climb back up and ran after them.

Most of her incomes were gained during the busy Saturdays but Ukyo didn't care. Life was too precious to be wasted working over the grill. Or it was when the love of her life was finally free. The competition had removed itself from her way and she would spend the day with Ranma. The Chef squealed girlishly for the first time in her entire life. She just felt like being silly that day. She couldn't believe her luck. Ranma was all hers and there were no victims on the battlefield.

"Ucchan!"

Ukyo beamed. She had been planning for hours how to approach him and came out with nothing good yet. Ranma saved her the trouble. He had come to eat her delicious food. It was a friendly regular encounter that could be gently swayed to a more personal-more romantic- situation.

"Ranchan!" She opened the door and her wide smile banished. "What happened?"

"Akane's gone." Ranma looked around, as if expecting to find her there. It hurt a little. "Shampoo kidnapped her."

"What?"

"There's no time to talk. We gotta keep looking…"

"Ranma wait!" She grabbed his arm before he could walk away. "Are you Shampoo kidnapped her?"

Ukyo spent all her Saturday searching for Akane. At least Ranma had been there with her and she had been able to play the advisor and loyal friend. He would be vulnerable for some time and she would be the only one there to comfort him. Ukyo smiled, serving Genma another okonomiyaki. The others, sitting on the counter, stared sullenly at their plates.

The group looked tired and worried. Akane was nowhere to be found and her friends had no idea where she could be but everyone asked the same question: was it really a kidnapping?

"Damn it, this's all your fault, Ranma!" Ryoga exploded, slamming his fists on the counter.

"How's it my fault, pork face? I was unconscious!"

"You were such an insensitive jerk to her that she lost her faith on all men!" The eternal Lost Boy's eyes watered and his fist trembled. He suddenly jumped to his feet. "But not all of us are like him, Akanw. I'll show you what's like to have a brave, honest man that really loves you at your side!"

He ran out the door. Ranma slowly turned back to his plate.

"Shampoo's gonna kill that jackass…" Ukyo said.

"Do you-do you really think Akane went….willingly?"

"Yes!"

Ukyo regretted the outburst immediately. Ranma looked sad and pensive. Perhaps there was one victim in the battlefield after all. She found herself giving support instead of asserting the truth she wanted to believe.

"Why do you ask?"

Ranma's face hardened. He stood and left without a word.

Gleaming eyes appeared and quickly disappeared as they jumped from branch to branch, dashing through the wood. The sound of leaves flogged mercilessly by the strong wind was smothered by the pounding of her heart in her ears and her ragged breathing. Her leg muscles were twitching, her lungs and skin burnt but a smile danced on her lips. Never in her entire life had Akane Tendo felt so free.

It was a matter of keeping up or be left behind. It was a matter of landing within the barely visible outlines of each perch or fall to the impenetrable darkness below with all its hiding dangers. Any other worries or concerns had leaked out of her like dirt. There was no space in her mind for mundane thoughts anymore.

The nimble shadow that was her guide averted the course sharply, jumping towards a tree trunk and bouncing off to an unseen perch to her right. Akane hesitated merely a moment before quickly following.

She sprang her legs away from the trunk and panicked when she realized there was no visible place to land. Instead, the solid base of another branch met her in the form of a powerful halting blow to the chest. Her breath escaped her lungs explosively for the sudden impact and she gasped, clawing at the evil thing to keep herself from falling. Safely up, she frowned slightly at the sight of the path ahead. There, the moon's gentle light did not fall and complete darkness reigned...

Something cold and soft brushed her arm. Her startled yelp was quieted by a strong hand. Shampoo released her face a second later. Akane could barely see and hear her as she crouched next to her like a tiger on the hunt, the sound of her silky clothing whipped by the wind deafening compared to the soft whispering of the Amazon's hair waving gently by the breeze. It suddenly made sense to be naked. She longed to take off her own cloths and become one with the wilderness.

Akane heard something near and turned. Two golden eyes glimmered right in front of her. Claws scratched the wood and the shadows released a low growl. The glittering eyes disappeared. The perch where they sat shook slightly. A rush of air passed by her and Akane breathed again. She flinched violently when Shampoo grabbed her hand again.

Something cold was accommodated between her fingers. It was a bow and an arrow. The Amazon maneuvered her hands, setting the arrow and straining the string. She pushed her hands so it was pointing under them. Akane's eyes widened. There was something moving there. As Shampoo released her hand Akane pulled the bow sharply up. The arrow flew whistling and stuck in a tree. There was a frantic rush of leaves under them, accompanied by startled bellows. The deer had escaped.

Shampoo slapped Akane sharply on the back of the head.

"Is you stupid?"

"You didn't say we were going to kill something!" Akane hissed angrily back.

"You asking all time what we eat!"

"Why didn't you bring something from the restaurant?!"

"Akane, forest is like fair, okay? There food everywhere."

"They are not food. They are animals!"

"Is you crazy vegan person?"

"Well, no….but I won't kill anything! There are trees everywhere. Can't we eat fruits or something?"

"You no fun, Akane..."

Shampoo leapt to another perch. Akane sighed and hurried to follow.

They found mushrooms, loquats and kaki. Shampoo had also managed to kill a rabbit when Akane wasn't looking and ate it without sharing. She didn't mind, though. The fruits and mushrooms had been delicious and fulfilling. They lay together at the lake shore, watching the darkening sky.

It was always amazing how many stars could be seen in the wilderness, away from the blinding lights of the city. The singing frogs replaced the chirping song of the birds and the sky was claimed by bats. Insects gave no relent and continued zooming above the water.

No one had come looking for them. Shampoo would not tell her where they were, but Akane could tell it was very far away. There were no signs of other people in the vicinity. Her family may never find her. She wondered if they were looking for her. Perhaps they believed whatever Shampoo had written on her infamous note. Maybe they thought they had ran away together to live the lesbian dream. Maybe they trusted she would find her way back alone…eventually.

Ranma always found her. No matter where she was taken and how hopeless it all seemed, he would always find her…he had warmed her about Shampoo. He had told her the girl was unpredictable and dangerous and Akane had not listened. This mess was her fault. He would have to crawl his way through the wood because she did not listen. The warm satisfactions coined during the day fled her in the face of those dark thoughts.

Shampoo's face popped into her camp of sight, blocking the stars.

"Why sad now?"

"I'm not sad…" Akane managed to smile a little and sat down. "Just tired. Are you sure it's safe to sleep here?"

"Yes."

She sighed and turned her back on the Amazon. She threw over herself a blanket and placed the backpack under her head. She closed her eyes. Shampoo crawled under the blanket and huddled close.

"Shampoo…what are you doing?"

"Is cold."

"You should have brought another blanket."

"But I did not."

"You are not…you don't like me like _that_, right?

"No. Do you like me like that?"

"No."

"Good night."

"Good night…"


	9. Ranma gets it

I know its short, but I'll make it up on next chapt!

**Dummy Perceptio: **A what?! A piece of shit?! A master pieces?! A rewritte? X-)

**Guest: ** I think that too :D I think that the fiance-race is pretty much over. He loves Akane. With the others, he's just feeding his ego. I do like that he doesn't interfere when the girls show interest on another guy, though.

* * *

><p>The cicada's love song filled the air. Birds chirped merrily in the roof and a koi jumped in the pond. Ranma stuffed his backpack with everything he would need. There was still no sign of the girls but Shampoo said they were going camping. He would search every park and mountain peak of Japan and China if he had to. He would find and rescue Akane.<p>

_"You stupid, insensitive jerk. I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!"_

_"But Akane, wo ai ni!" _

He cringed at the memory. They all said Akane left willingly. They said the girls loved each other and had ran off together, even Mr Tendo and Pu. Ranma knew they were wrong. Akane loved him.

"50, 000"

He turned and found Nabiki leaning on the door.

"What?"

"50, 000 yen and I get their location for you."

Ranma gritted his teeth and walked towards Nabiki. She didn't lose her cool or that infuriating smirk. Either she was more heartless than he thought or she just _knew_ Akane was safe. Maybe she also thought the girls had run off to merry somewhere. He searched his pockets and removed a total of 50 yens. He presented the coins to Nabiki. The middle Tendo sister stared at them with a raised eyebrow, as if offended somehow.

"It's all I've got."

"You'll own me."

He turned and nodded curtly. Nabiki missed the maniac grin on his face. He would never recognize the debt. He was done playing fair with this bitch. He would let her know of his decision as soon as Akane's location was known.

* * *

><p>Akane removed the iron pot from the fire and placed it on the ground in front of her companion with slow measured moves. Tea was served as beverage and a pair of chopsticks provided. Everything was set. Akane folded her arms in her lap and waited.<p>

Shampoo eyed the concoction. It looked suspicious and smelt of burnt rice and vinegar. Intense training had hardened her bones. Her fists and feet could crush stone and vent bars of iron with single solid blows. But her tummy was spoiled, treated with a careful diet of the freshest fruits and vegetables and the tenderest meat. If the test failed, Akane would learn of the great power she possessed against her. She wondered, for the tenth time, why in the world she was subjecting herself to this.

"You follow all instruction, yes?"

"All of it!" Akane stated breathlessly with a wide smile, picking up the scroll Shampoo had giving her that morning with her stained hands. "It was a bit hard, since it's in Chinesse but I managed."

"You managed…Akane, it need be perfect or it no come out right."

"It is perfect. I paid close attention. Please, taste it!"

Shampoo sighed, eyeing the concoction warily. She wondered, for the eleventh time, why in the world she was subjecting herself to this. Closing her eyes, Shampoo took the small pot to her lips and slurped down some of the broth. Her eyes widened in surprise.

"Aiya, It work, Akane! This taste good!"

"Really?"

Akane watched Shampoo ate steadily from the bowl. There were none of the usual signs of disgust and nausea. She picked her own bowl and joined her, each bite filling her stomach as much as her heart.

After their late breakfast- that also happened to be their lunch- the girls rested at the shores of the lake. Akane was dozing under the warm sunlight. She had not slept well during the night. When the fire died around midnight, Akane became all too aware of Shampoo's warm body pressed tightly against hers under the blanket. And the bitch slept soundly, like a log, completely unaware of the glistering eyes in the darkness and strange sounds filling the air.

"I can't believe that scroll saved your people from slavery…" She said drowsily, struggling to stay awake.

Shampoo stopped searching the heavens for clouds that resembled earthling things-such as animals, plants or people. Akane's comment reminded her of Mousse and his usual petulance. He had raised a similar point when Great-grandmother gathered the village's children to teach them more subtle technics of the Art of War, ten years ago:

"_We are warriors!" _He had said_. "What business do we have in the kitchen?"_

When Great grandmother had redirected her gnarled staff from Mousse's skull to wave it in her direction, Shampoo gave a step forward and obediently recited the reasons behind that particular stage of their training to the rest of the children.

"200 year ago people from outside come wanting take land of Juketsuzoku for selves. They put siege for many year. They block roads and burnt fields. Animal all died after year. Only left to eat was bug and dust. Was time of great misery." She stopped a moment to admire a cloud resembling the Ghost Cat- "But then Soh Hap, great cook of Xiangatzu Clan, create Ultimate Cooking Technic. No matter what put in pot, it always come healthy good tasting food. Invaders go hungry but village have dust and bug to eat forever. They got tired and went home. He save whole valley."

"You said your father's a great cook too."

"Yes, he make menu at Nekohanten. He teach how make all plates."

"You still think he's inferior."

"He is inferior."

"He seems to care about you a lot."

Shampoo smiled. Akane was intelligent. What she had taken for stupidity was simple naivety. It was endearing.

"People only care about selves, Akane. If it seem they care about you, it because they want something."

Akane sat up.

"You don't really believe that."

"If I no believe it, why would I say it?"

"I don't want anything from you."

Shampoo smirked.

"Okay."

"I don't!"

"Right."

"Shampoo!" The Amazon laughed merrily. Akane couldn't help a smile. "I can't believe how cynic you are."

"I did bring something that is yours." Shampoo knelt and produced-out of nowhere-a dao neatly sheathed in a blue scabbard. She gave it to Akane. "Get use to always have on self, Akane. Maybe if you have sword Shampoo no almost drown you on lake before."

"I could have punched you in the face."

"Oh, but then you no know how to swing now."

"And using the dao I would have?"

"What dao have to do with it?"

"You just said…Mo, never mind."

* * *

><p>"I'll get you a date with Ranma if you do it."<p>

Ukyo refused without looking up from the grill. She flipped several okonomiyakis with a satisfied smile. Without Akane or Shampoo in the way, getting Ranma on a date was no longer an issue. Her days of haggling were over.

"He's taking off." Nabiki said and Ukyo looked up from the grill. "He won't stop until he finds them."

Perhaps she could go with him and offer a shoulder to cry on when Akane broke his heart. But what if it was all a huge misunderstanding and Akane and Shampoo were not lovers? Maybe they were in the woods, hatching a master plan to get rid of her and Kodachi. Ukyo scowled darkly. In that case, she should go too. But the restaurant could not be left unattended for so long.

With a resigned sigh, the Chef nodded. Nabiki snatched a cell phone from the front pocket of her shirt, dialed a number and handed it to Ukyo. She turned and gave Ranma the okay. The boy rose quickly from the table and approached the counter. After two tones, the phone was answered. Ukyo's eyes widened.

"Oh! Yeah, hey…Shampoo…"

Ranma's eyes bulged and he snatched the phone from Ukyo. Before he could speak, Nabiki slapped her hand over his mouth. She hissed angrily at him.

"Do you want to find out where they are or mess this up?!"

He shuddered in anger but released the phone. Nabiki handed it back to Ukyo with a piece of paper. Ukyo's eyes bulged by what it said. She refused to read it and the Tendo sister pointed at Ranma. The Chef sighed again…and her eyes bulged.

"Well, I'm wasting MY time too, you know!?" She gasped. "She hanged up on me! How rude, that little jackass…!"

She was about to jab a finger into the redial bottom when the menu snatched the phone out of her grasp and beat her to it. Tsubasa waited for Shampoo to pick up again.

"Shampoo-samma! Hi! No, you don't really know me but I think you are so brave for doing this!...Is Akane there? Can I talk to her?...Hello, Akane-samma! I think this's so romantic, so…!"

Ukyo snatched the phone back and slammed Tsubasa into the ground with her battle spatula.

"Jackass!" Nabiki tapped one finger impatiently on the counter. Ukyo looked at the piece of paper. "Akane, put Shampoo on…Shampoo, I wanted to tell you that you are a coward for leaving like that. I thought we were going to have a battle of…epic proportions...for Ranma's heart and all you did was turn tails and run like a puss…a coward. Yeah, that's what you are: a coward…"

Ukyo cringed and snatched the phone away from her ear. Shampoo's howling voice thundered from the speaker.

"_Oh, yes!? Why no you come here and say that to face?! We's in Takeno Mo…"_

"_Shampoo, don't…!"_

Ranma paled. Nabiki snatched the phone from Ukyo's hand.

"Akane. No, we're fine. You left willingly?...Are you serious? Why, Akane, why?"

Ranma snatched the phone from Nabiki.

"Are you fucking serious, Akane?! Ya're always calling me an insensitive selfish asshole and you run away the first chance you get?! And with Shampoo! I guess I ain't the pervert, uh!?"

He stopped, shocked and a bit ashamed by the outburst. He glanced at Nabiki, Ukyo and Tsubasa and walked away. He put the phone closer to his mouth and whispered.

"…Akane…everyone's saying it's my fault….If it really is, whatever I did, I didn't mean to… " He paused a moment, gathering courage. "…I won't let you go like this….I'll find you….If you tell me you wanme to go, then I'm gonna. But, before you choose, remember what we've gone through together…what I- what I said….I-I love you. I don't care about anyone else. I love _you_, Akane…"

"…"

Ranma scowled darkly and snarled into the phone.

"Are ya even listening to me!?"

"Why? Why her and not me?"

The blood drained from his face.

"Sh-Shampoo…uh…hey! Uh….yeah, hum…" He turned to Nabiki and Ukyo for assistance. There was nothing either of them could say. The line went dead."Sha-Shampoo? Shampoo!"


	10. Oh, damn it

**Dummy Perception: **Well,most of it is already written :D And if I don't post it, I keep editing and I can't get to work on other chapts, lol X-D Ukyo's gonna come by again in the last chapt :D

**Guest: **X_X

Thanks for R&R! :D

* * *

><p>Akane moaned and stirred. Her hand flailed mindlessly to the side, searching for the alarm clock beeping so annoyingly. Her hand touched only grass. She opened her eyes to a sky filled with the colors of sunset. She looked around and found the lake and the forest and the sheathed dao. The beeping sound ended abruptly.<p>

"Nihao?" She turned to look at Shampoo and found her with a cellphone to her ear. The girl scowled. "How you get this number? You making me waste my time."

Shampoo snapped the flip phone close. Akane snapped close her gaping mouth and reached for it but the thing started vibrating and beeping again. The Amazon opened it with a smart snap of her wrist.

"Nihao!...Who you?...Aiya, thank you!...Yes, she here. Okay…Is want talking to you."

Akane took the phone, one of her eyebrows raised.

"Hello?...Tsubasa!...Ro…IT'S NOT ROMANTIC!" There was a sudden commotion on the other end of the line. Then a new familiar voice spoke into the phone."Ukyo?...Not until you tell me…"

"You no talk to her!" Shampoo snarled and snatched the phone back. "What you want, stupid Spatula Girl? Stop wasting Shampoo time!..."

Akane was about to snatch it back when the Amazon's face went deadly pale. Her eyes widened and she gaped like a fish out of the water. An expression of sudden rage twisted her pretty features. The phone cracked slightly under her fingers.

"Oh, yes?!" She howled explosively. "Why you no come here and say that to face?! We's in Takeno Mo…"

"Shampoo, don't!"

The phone was snatched away. Shampoo let out a vicious curse and lunged to get it back. They struggled until Akane managed to get into a good position and shoved the Amazon back.

"Don't you see what she's doing, baka?!" Akane snapped at her and put the phone to her ear. "Ukyo…Nabiki? Who else's in there? Is-is everyone okay?...No, but I don't need rescuing…Because I'm mad at you!"

Shampoo jumped back to her feet. Nobody insulted her like that and nobody pushed her like that. She grabbed Akane's wrist and twisted it sharply. The girl yowled in pain and dropped the phone. Shampoo picked it up and gave her a warning glare. She placed the phone back to her ear, ready to finish delivering her challenge to Ukyo but it was not the chef on the other end of the line anymore.

"_...I-I love you. I don't care about anyone else. I love __you__, Akane…"_

Akane rubbed her wrist sullenly. Thoughts of rightful vengeance fled her as Shampoo's haughty expression changed to one of overwhelming grief.

"What's she saying? Did something happen? Is everyone okay?"

The silence stretched in what seemed like forever. When she finally spoke, it was in a heart-breaking moan.

"Why? Why her and not me?"

"What happened?" Akane gasped, placing her hand on the Amazon's shoulders. "Please tell me everyone's all right!"

Shampoo looked at her and there was but a second between the realization of sudden danger and the pain exploding in her face. Akane cried out as she hit the ground. She took a trembling hand to her face, brushing off pieces of plastic and metal from her mouth and nose. Shampoo dropped the remaining pieces of the phone and cracked her knuckles.

"That hurt, you jerk!"

"We need talk what is going to happen with you, me and Ranma, Akane."

She tried to stand. Shampoo kicked her sharply in the face and slammed a foot on her throat, pinning her to the ground. There was not enough pressure to cut off her breathing but it was enough to discourage movement. Akane gripped the Amazon's foot.

"What are you doing!?"

"You is obstacle now. Obstacles be for killing. Give up Ranma and you no longer obstacle. You no have to die. Say you give him up!"

"Get off me!"

Shampoo leaned more weight on the foot over her throat, snarling at her to obey. It was too much for her feeble control. Her fingers squeezed Shampoo's foot and ankle and with a feral snarl, Akane lunched forward, throwing the Amazon off of her and rolling back to her feet.

"I'm not giving him up! He's mine and I love him!"

Shampoo stood back up, baring her teeth in a low menacing growl. Akane didn't understand what had set this off but she didn't care. She was done being bullied. She dropped into a fight stance and the Amazon attacked, letting out a savage war-cry. Akane moved without thinking and blocked. A sharp pain spread through her shielding arm and Shampoo barreled forward, throwing her off her feet. The second her back hit the ground, Akane rolled back. The avoided kick ripped off the grass.

Akane screamed and threw a punch of her own, resting all of her strength behind it. Shampoo danced to the side and landed a sharp blow to her face. Akane ignored the horrible pain and kicked. Her leg was caught and shoved higher than it could go. She lost her footing and fell to the ground. The overwhelming urge to get back up was forgotten as a brutal kick impacted on her jaw.

Akane moaned pitifully, sprawled in the mud at the shores of the lake. Her mouth and nose were bleeding and her bleary eyes struggled to find their focus. Shampoo felt disgusted. She was a warrior, not a butcher. Joketsuzoku were supposed to hit and kill but her blows lacked strength. She had held back on Ranma and paid the price of her idiocy with a curse and constant rejection.

Shampoo whirled around and gathered her belongings. She stuffed everything in the backpack, keeping in her hand only a lantern. She switched it on and turned to Akane. The girl had managed to sit back up.

"Get up. We going back."

Akane struggled back to her feet, wincing and swaying slightly. Shampoo walked into the forest, the light disappearing with her into the darkness. She grabbed the dao and staggered after her.

* * *

><p>"This's an emergency, don't you understand?!"<p>

"I-I'm sorry, sir! There's nothing I can do!" The manager of Nerima's train station stuttered. "Last train to Takeno Mori's left. Next one leaves tomorrow morning."

Soun's tight grip on the poor man's collar did not loosen. Nabiki sighed and finally intervened. Uncle Genma seemed to guess her intention and dosed an unsuspecting Ranma with cold water. Nabiki whispered something on the manager's ear, pointing at the sputtering red-head. His eyes glazed over and his nostrils flared.

"I have just the thing for you!"

Ranma scowled darkly but didn't protest. Speed was essential and it was worth to see what this old fart could offer. He just hoped Shampoo didn't do something retarded. If something bad happened to Akane, it would be his fault. Why did he always have to blurt shit out?

The Manager guided them to a rusty iron door under a flickering white light at the end of the station. He grabbed the handle and gave them a huge toothy smile.

"Behold, strangers, the pride of my soul!"

The door was swung opened. They gasped in anticipation of the promised wonder and faceplanted.

"What's that piece of shit?" Ranma shriek explosively.

"Ditto." Nabiki stated.

"Ignorant fools!"

The Manager screamed and hugged the pathetically small and trashy motorcycle sitting in the center of the otherwise empty room. He kissed it and turned the keys. The engines roared to life. A huge cloud of dark smoke farted right into the man's face. The wide grin was still in place when it cleared.

"This little wonder will take you right where you need to at top speed!"

Ranma regarded the bike carefully before climbing on it. After the initial explosion, the motor settled and purred softly. She rolled the handlers and the engines roared. Her lips twisted in feral grin. The fat-ass panda that was her father jumped on the passenger's seat, followed by Soun and the train Manager.

A nut flew off. A screw fell noisily to the floor. The motorcycle trembled and fell apart under them. Ranma was crushed on top by all her unwanted passengers. Nabiki stared at them with half-lidded eyes.

"Grups."

"Akane!" Soun wailed. "My little girl, please be okay!"

"I-I was curious," The Manager confessed when all eyes turned to him. He blushed. "Sorry…"

Nabiki sighed. She just hoped Akane was okay. All the money she was making would not pay off if her little sister got hurt.

"Wh-why did you attack me? And why are we going back _now_?"

"Hush. I no can hear around."

* * *

><p>Their first expedition through the forest had been the most wonderful experience Akane could remember. This second journey was frightening. The ghostly light made the shadows dance. Glittering eyes came attached to dark formless bodies that hurried away in every direction. Shrieks and wails interrupted the cricket's songs. Akane huddled closer to Shampoo, stepping on her foot heels. Annoyed, the Amazon shoved her back.<p>

Akane's frightened eyes fixed on her surroundings as they continued. The white light of the lantern washed over disfigured trees. Their trunks had been mauled, the wood ripped by strong claws. A cold breeze blew, bringing the stench of male cat urine.

"Do you smell that?" Akane whimpered, stepping on Shampoo again. "Do you see the trees? What could do that?!"

"A tiger, Akane."

"A tig- There are no wild tigers in Japan."

"Then what is that?"

Akane stiffened as low growls came from behind her. She whirled around to find the face of a huge fat tiger. His powerful jaw opened in a vicious snarl.

The light went out.

"Shampoo!"

The tiger roared and attacked. Even as Akane screamed in terror, her body moved with a precision gained after a lifetime of steady training. She rolled with the momentum of the beast's shove and placed her feet into his stomach. The moment her back touched the ground, her legs sprang and sent the animal flying in the air.

She jumped back to her feet and strained to see and hear. The full moon was no longer grazing the skies to aid the eye. Her ears caught the low whispering of stirred vegetation at her left and a soft impatient growl at her right. The tiger rammed into her and thrashed violently to land a killing blow. Akane let out a blood-curling scream and lashed out with all she had, kicking and punching. The tiger yowled and retreated, taken aback by the viciousness of such a small prey.

Akane whimpered as she crawled to her knees. Her arms and legs were burning. She could no longer hear the beast move over the frantic pounding on her ears and the wheezing breaths slipping her mouth. A feral snarl filled the air. In the seconds that passed, Akane remembered the weapon still clasped firmly in her hand. She lashed at the air frantically with the sheathed dao. It never met something solid but the tiger yowled in pain.

Shampoo spoke in the darkness.

"You no attack me, stupid, attack her!"

The tiger growled and hissed. Akane narrowed her eyes. She could see the shadows moving and her nose caught the bitter scent of the tiger's fur and rancid breath. He roared. Akane unsheathed the dao and lunged with a scream. The blade embedded neatly in the thrashing darkness. Shampoo whimpered. The blood drained from Akane's face.

The tiger roared and attacked.

"Not now!"

Akane snarled and caught the tiger's massive head, halting his charge. She hauled the startled beast and body slammed him against a tree. A storm of kicks and punches followed. Eventually, she had to stop to catch her breath and the poor animal crawled away, merging with the dense vegetation and hoping to never meet such strange and vicious animals again.

Akane dropped to her knees, panting heavenly. She felt like crying and laughing at the same time. She had just beaten up a tiger! And she was hurt, lost in the middle of nowhere with a sociopath as a field guide. A sociopath she had just stabbed.

"Shampoo? Where are you, are you okay?"

Pained moans answered her. Akane searched the lantern. Her hands brushed plants, branches and something scaly that hissed at her and darted away. After a seizure of shudders and moans, the search continued more frantically. She finally touched metal.

Akane switched the lantern on and gasped. Shampoo lay sprawled in the dirt, the hilt of the dao protruding from the left side of her stomach. She screamed as the Amazon grabbed it with bloody fingers and pulled sharply to the side. The hilt and part of the blade dropped, severed, to the ground.

"Hang on!" Akane scrambled for their backpack and rummaged furiously through it for the first-aid kit. "You know how to treat this! Tell me what to do!"

"Gre-Greatgrandmother-going k-kill you."

"Is that what you're worried about right now?! I-there's-It's still sticking out of your back, what do I do?!"

"Break what outside…leave inside…"

Akane wiped tears from her eyes and grabbed their blanket to shield her hands from the weapon's blade. With a quick and sharp twist, the protruding piece snapped loose. She threw it to the side and bandaged clumsily the stab wound. When it was done, she tended to the cuts the tiger had left on her arms and legs but ran out of bandages half way through.

Shampoo didn't look so good and the darkness surrounding them seemed ready to swallow them whole if they ventured inside. Akane concentrated, trying to remember all she had been taught about camping with Ranma, Uncle Genma and the stupid Amazon.

"A fire!" She said. "We need fire…"

It didn't matter how much time a lightened match rested among the leaves, the stupid pyre she had built would not caught fire. It smocked profoundly instead. Afraid they would get intoxicated or attract another mighty predator, Akane quickly abandoned her attempts. They at least had the lantern.

The white light flickered once and disappeared.

"Mo…"

Akane lay down next to Shampoo and threw the blanket over them both. It felt wrong to hug an unconscious person but it was the only way to keep each other warm in the cold night. She lay in her back for long hours, staring at the glittering eyes of unknown creatures looking down at her from unseen branches.

Eventually, darkness retreated and the sky cleared. The singing crickets and screeching owls were replaced by diurnal birds and monkeys. Butterflies danced from one blooming flower to the other. Nature's indifference to the horrifying events suffered throughout the night was contagious and Akane stood up and faced the new day with energetic defiance.

She gathered dried branches and lightened the last match. She was about to set it down when a squirrel emerged from the pit-fire to be and leaped at her face. She howled and staggered back, tripping over the broken lantern. The match fell on her head and almost set her hair on fire. Enraged, Akane threw the backpack at the freaking squirrel and the lantern against the pyre. It exploded, sending her reeling back…and initiating a warm nice fire. Akane smiled, feeling at peace with the world once again.

Food was the next essential thing to take care of. The wild cherries Akane found burnt her throat when swallowed and the fruits were simply _filled_ with seeds. Desperate, she climbed a tree to steal some eggs. The parents turned out to be very small but very vicious woodpeckers. Their small hammering beaks sent the Tiger Tamer running for cover.

"Okay, so there's no food." Akane announced proudly to Shampoo. "But I made us some tea. Will you be able to walk?"

"Leave." Shampoo mumbled. "I lie. Great-grandmother no care."

"I don't care if she cares. We need a hospital."

"I can no walk."

"Fine, then I carry you."

The birds continued singing; a humming bird scared a butterfly away from some flowers. A snake found cover in a bush. A fruit fell from a branch. Akane threw water over the fire. It hissed and died out. Only the essential was stuffed back into the pink backpack: the first aid-kit, the blanket and the two bottles with water. She hung it on her front and maneuvered the dozing Shampoo on her back. She didn't know where the end of the accursed wood was, but if she walked in a straight line, she would find the edge at some point. After all, what was an environmental crisis if not small woods?

"Oh, fuck it!"

Akane snarled as she reached the edge of the forest, forgetting all about good manners in the face of the broad soy fields extending before her. She had walked for hours and her legs and feet hurt. The dead weight of the backpack and Shampoo seemed to grow heavier each step. And huge flock of mosquitoes fed freely of them both. She cursed her unconscious companion with a passion.

"Akane-san!"

Akane froze. Was her mind playing tricks on her? The eerie call repeated, closer this time. It was Ryoga calling her name! She strained to see through the tall soy stems.

"Ryoga!"

"Akane-san! Where are you?!"

"At the edge of the wood! We're hurt!"

"I'm coming!"

His voice grew fainter. Akane moaned in desperation. The idiot was probably running on the opposite direction.

"Ryoga!"

"I'm coming, Akane-san!"

Akane ran into the soy field, calling him. She followed the sound of his voice. After a few turns, she could finally hear his erratic race across the soy stems. Then he was running in front of her.

"Ryoga!" She panted.

"I'm coming, Akane-san!"

"I'm behind you! Ryoga! Turn around!"

He stopped and turned around. He smiled broadly and ran to meet her. Akane fell to her knees and Ryoga knelt with her to hold her hands. His strong warm hands almost pushed her over the edge and Akane sobbed with relief.

"Don't worry, Akane-san. I'm here!"

Ryoga felt guilty for feeling so good in the face of Akane's anguish but it was his chance to prove he was better for her. Without a word, he grabbed her backpack and accommodated it over his own. He hauled Akane and Shampoo under his arms and barreled forward.

"Ryoga, wait! She's…!"

"The city's near!" He screamed.

Ryoga ran straight towards the wood. Akane screeched and thrashed so violently that he actually stopped. She pointed angrily on the opposite direction and he veered his course. Every time the Eternal Lost Boy turned in one way, Akane made him take the opposite direction. The technic worked and after two hours of painful journey, they reached Makeno Mori, one of the most populated neighbors of Tokyo. From there, it was easy to get help.

Akane and Shampoo travelled in the same ambulance. Ryoga could not get in with them but he promised to meet her at the hospital. She would probably see him again in a week. She regretted not thanking him.

Akane drifted in and out of consciousness as they arrived at the hospital. She was walked into a room where the cuts in her arms and legs were treated. Some required stiches. Shampoo had also broken her nose and her left eye was slowly swelling shut.

"That may teach you and your friend, little lady, to mess around in the woods at night!" A nurse scolded her. "It isn't safe with all the bears and that tiger that just escaped from the Zoo!"

Akane chose not to comment and asked for a phone instead. The nurse led her to the lobby. Kasumi promised to pick her up in the afternoon. Hopefully, she would find the others on the way. They had been out searching for her since her disappearance. Akane felt a rush of guilty over all the fun she had had before Shampoo turned on her. She reminded Kasumi how much she loved her and hung the phone. There was just one pending thing to do.

Shampoo was having a hard time understanding the incessant chattering of the doctor standing next to her bed. Japanese was a language that demanded longer pauses between words than Mandarin did. This woman omitted that simple rule and spoke too quickly for her dazed brain to understand. Words simply blurred into each other and explanations aimed to comfort and inform came out as a long irritating high-pitched babble.

Shampoo did not complain. There was nothing this woman could say that concerned her. She knew the stab-wound was not lethal and she would leave as soon as she was able to walk. Her father could come later to deal with any pending paperwork. Her lack of responsiveness finally sent the doctor away. She snatched off the wicked needles they had stock on her arm.

The door opened and Akane stepped inside. She was dressed in the same hideous pajamas the hospital staff had imposed on her. They left in plain view the bandages covering her arms, legs and shoulders. Shampoo sighed.

"Why did you attack me like that?"

"You is obstacle. Obstacle..."

"Yeah, 'obstacles be for killing' or whatever. But why then?"

"Ranma say he love you. On phone, when Ukyo call. He say he no care about anyone else. He just love you. "

"And so you just try to kill me? You know, everyone told me this was a bad idea. They called you a bully and a backstabber and a barbarian and I always defended you!"

Shampoo said nothing. Akane looked into her eyes, trying to discern what was going through her head. She could only see the reflection of her own grief-stricken face. It felt like something simply broke in her chest. She slumped in the chair next to the bed.

"I just thought that if I was patient enough, I'd get to understand you."

"No. You wanted to be my friend so we can fix Ranma deal without fight."

Akane wanted to deny it but it was true. The growing violence of the 'fiance war' had pushed her to pursue Shampoo. Her intentions had never been to hurt or trick but the unexpected call down made her feel guilty.

"But I wanted to be your friend." She said after a moment of self-reflection. "I do like you when you're not trying to kill people."

"I like you too, Akane." The vacant eyes shimmered with suppressed tears. Shampoo finally looked away. "I sorry thing finish this way but I no can say no to Ranma. We must be together. It is Law."

"Not here, it's not! You don't have to do this. If you don't love him…"

"Joketsuzoku no only place. It is us. We take Law where we go."

"Maybe if you explain to Cologne how you feel?"

"I go back to Joketsuzoku when Ranma say he girl. Great-grandmother no say nothing. She take me Jusenkyo, say I need learn. We train up in poles then she just knock me on pool. On Maoniichuan…"

Akane's hands closed into tight fists. Ranma had never told her the details of Shampoo's journey to Jusenkyo. She had never asked. She had never cared until then. She looked down, afraid the sight of Shampoo's bitter face and tearful eyes would break her. Her hands brushed the bandages hiding the wounds the tiger had left on her thighs and arms. Anger could shield her.

"She maimed me, Akane." Shampoo continued in a broken voice. "I no whole warrior anymore. It punishment for giving up, for going for help when I no should. She going hurt me again if I no marry Ranma."

Love wasn't a crime but she was feeling like a monster. Life was supposed to be simple at her age but it always seemed to grow more complicated. And it seemed fairness was always at a lost. Akane looked up at Shampoo, and the words simply poured out of her moth.

"Then I won't marry Ranma."


	11. Licking wounds

Uff, well this is the penultimate chapter. :D This is the second story I ever managed to finish, lol-

**Guest: **Yes!

The doctors assured them Shampoo was okay but she had to stay for a 48hs observation period. It felt wrong to leave and Akane only agreed after Kasumi promised a few times that Mr Pu would be informed of the Amazon's situation.

Fulfilling the standard weirdness in their lives, an euphoric Ranma, Soun and Uncle Genma in panda form- with P-chan on his head- met them outside the Hospital. They were dirty and exhausted after spending the entire night searching the forest. Akane was moved by their efforts and apologized profoundly for worrying them.

It took a bus and a train to return to Nerima. It gave the family enough time to interrogate Akane for every detail of what had happened in the forest. She had no option but to share, skipping certain details such as the murder attempt and the accidental stabbing in the darkness.

"How odd." Kasumi said. "There are no wild tigers in Japan."

"There's one. It escaped from the zoo."

"Akane. I forbid you to keep pursuing this friendship!" Soun thundered, tears cascading down his face. "I'm putting my foot down!"

He stomped his foot softly on the train floor. The giant panda that was Genma Saotome patted him on the shoulder.

"Stop wailing like that, Daddy, people are staring. It wasn't her fault."

Nabiki narrowed her eyes and leaned closer to look intently at her face. The rest of the family, the giant panda and the pig on her lap did as well. Akane pulled back nervously.

"You have a shoe mark in your face."

"What?!"

Akane demanded for a mirror and Genma quickly provided. Over the bridge of her broken nose was clearly imprinted a shoe-mark. A soft blue hue surrounded her body for a second and the mirror's handle bent under her fingers.

"There was no tiger!" Nabiki stated, pointing an ominous finger at her. "Shampoo went ballistic after Ranm's declaration and tried to kill you, first bare handed and then with a sword."

"There was a tiger! It escaped from the Zoo and I beat it up! And yes, we had a fight, so what? We're martial artists, we do that."

Akane looked at Ranma as she said those words. He didn't even turn to look at her. His indifference and silence was frightening. It was as if he already knew what she had done.

The topic eventually changed and Nabiki had to explain how the damage to the Tendo's reputation would be fixed. Akane had no interest on knowing the details. She realized she no longer cared what her so called friends at Nerima thought of her. The one person she cared about wouldn't even look at her.

They reached Nerima three hours later. Kasumi insisted she visited Dr Tofu before going home to get a second opinion and so she did. Ranma walked her in silence. She didn't want to talk, afraid she may blurt out something too soon. He didn't have enough compassion to start a frivolous conversation.

Dr Tofu confirmed the cuts in her body would heal if care for properly and sent her home with a special ointment. It should be rubbed on the wounds to soften the marks. Scars could not be prevented. Akane almost wept. Ranma's abrupt departure from the clinic forced the building anguish to an abrupt halt. She staggered after him and caught him outside the clinic.

"Ranma?"

"She did that to you. There was no tiger, was it?"

"Yes, there was and I beat it up!" Akane snarled. It was the one thing she was really proud of and no one believed her. "Shampoo just…"

He whirled on her and Akane gave an involuntary step back.

"You never listen, Akane, not till bullshit happens to you."

"And you had to tell Shampoo all that over a phone? And when I was with her, alone, in the middle of nowhere?!"

He blushed. He hadn't really meant to say anything. Words simply poured out of his mouth when it seemed Akane would leave. It was ironic everyone had heard except the one person it was meant for. Ukyo had been heart-broken and angry and the irate reaction of Shampoo was imprinted all over Akane's body. A warning was given, not so long ago, that things would get out of hand if he didn't get serious. He had ignored it and she had paid the price.

"At least now it's over and you two can get married!" Soun jumped out of nowhere and patted the youth solidly on their backs.

"With one girl mad and the other at the Hospital, there won't be a better time!" Genma laughed, throwing rice over them both..

"We won't get married."

Silence followed the stunning declaration. Ranma paled but his right to retort was overstepped by a stuttering Soun.

"W-why not!?"

"Because...I'll just not marry Ranma. Not now."

"But why not?!"

"You know what, it doesn't matter!" Ranma snapped. "I'm tired of your shit."

"My shit?!"

"Yeah!"

Soun and Genma decided not to comment on the use of gruesome words. Their heirs glared at each other for a whole minute. Akane's lips were trembling and her eyes dwelling with tears. At the last moment, she whirled around and ran down the street. Ranma grumbled darkly under his breath and walked behind her.

Shampoo closed the door. The house was dark and silent. Her father was probably asleep. It was rather late. The doctors at the Hospital wouldn't let her go and it took some work to slip from the place. When she managed, the last train to Nerima had parted and she had been force to wander the road asking for a ride. It had been a fitting end to a hellish weekend.

The light of the corridor flared to life, startling her and hurting her eyes.

"Xian Pu? Are you okay?"

The question and the voice which spoke it stirred a rush of hatred. Shampoo did not turn to regard the hunched figure standing at the end of the corridor. His sad pitiful face sickened her. She hated him as much as she hated Mu Tze and as much as she was growing to hate Ranma. She walked into the bathroom and slammed the door shut.

Shampoo blinked. In her anger, she had not realized the bathroom was occupied. Cologne sat in front of the mirror, brushing her long wet mane. They smiled at each other.

"Hello, Xian Pu. How've you been?"

"Hello, Great-grandmother. Welcome home."

"I come from home, Xian Pu. Take a bath and meet me downstairs. You smell as bad as you look."

"Yes, Great-grandmother."

The warm water cascading down her body took away dried blood, dirt and sweat. Tense muscles relaxed and the incipient headache tormenting her all day quietly slipped away. A set of new bandages on the puffy wound and clean cloths added a final touch. Shampoo left the bathroom in a better mood.

The scent of steamed vegetables and rice filled the air. She reached the dining room and found a banquet already served. Cologne watched TV as she waited. Shampoo smiled. It was nice to have Great-grandmother back. It had been lonely while she was gone. She sat in her place and the TV was switched off. They bowed politely to each other. Shampoo picked the soup first and drank the hot broth…

"What's this about you and Akane being lovers?"

…to choke on it. Cologne cackled madly, holding a copy of the cursed picture in her wrinkled hand.

"Great-grandmother!"

"Sorry, it was too tempting. Explain now, child. It is some rather upsetting news."

Shampoo met her wary stare with a mischievous grin. It was contagious.

"I realized Akane is like a dog, Great-grandmother. If you're nice to her, she'll do anything for you. This month I treated her like a sister and just last night, I got her to drop her engagement with Ranma."

"Very good, Xian Pu! A very subtle approach. Was the Groom already informed?"

"I don't know. I just came back."

"From the Hospital."

"Y-yes."

"Just like Akane."

Shampoo clamped her lips shut. Someone had rat her out and now Cologne knew more than it was convenient. Trying to hide information now would prove to be painful, particularly for her skull. Her silence seemed aggravating enough and the old woman rattled her brain with a sharp blow of that cursed staff.

"Aiya…"

"Start taking into consideration the reactions of the people you deal with, Xian Pu, or you will not live long. Ranma favors Akane, how do you think he would react if you kill her?"

"I'm sorry."

Shampoo stared unappetizingly at her food. It hurt Great-grandmother thought so little of her intelligence. Akane's death would be passed off as an accident, obviously. Ranma would still suffer but the pathway to win him over would be clear once Akane was removed. She would be gone. Forever. Like her mother. Shampoo paled and put down her chopsticks.

"Great-grandmother? What if I don't want Ranma anymore?"

She looked up quickly to seize the old woman's reaction. Cologne didn't seem angered by the question. Her huge eyes were narrowed in thought but her answer was not different from what she had expected.

"It's not about what you want, child. It's about what the Law says. He defeated you in combat. He must father your children. This is what happens when you don't consider the people you deal with, Shampoo. Plans backfire. I hope you learn from all of this."

Shampoo nodded and wiped some rogue tears with the back of her hand. They finished dinner in silence.

Akane sat in her bed, wondering about P-chan. The pig seemed to understand her pain. He squeaked and rubbed his hooves tenderly on her hands. She could swear his huge eyes were sad. Pigs were definitely smart animals.

A soft know on the door. She demanded to be left alone but it opened anyway. Kasumi walked in. Akane did not have the heart to lash out at her and accepted the intromission in silence. Her older sister sat in the bed and caressed her hair with a cold soft hand.

"What happened, Akane?"

"Shampoo got the cat curse for not killing Ranma that one time, Onee-chan." Akane whispered after a long silence. "If she doesn't marry him, they will hurt her again. They are horrible, Onee-chan, and I can't let her get hurt when I'm happy here with Ranma. I just can't."

Kasumi sighed and hugged Akane as she cried. Ryoga was kind enough to crawl out of her lap to give them some privacy. She wished Ranma would do the same and go back to the Dojo instead of sitting on the roof next to Akane's window. It was rude to eavesdrop. Then again, her little sister was really mulish when it came to her feelings. Sometimes, a shove in the right direction help saved a lot of painful moments.

"Do you want to marry him?"

"I love him."

"Have you told him?"

"No. He only knows to fight, Onee-chan. If I tell him, he'll go and do something stupid."

"Akane, honey, our lives have been filled with stupid situations since he came but everything always turns out fine at the end."

Akane babbled it was different this time. Kasumi caressed her head. It was not a good time to inform Ranma had heard everything and was jumping from roof to roof into the distance. He was going to do the proverbial stupid thing. She smiled. Live was never dull since Ranma showed up.

Even in the still hours before midnight and after a month of inactivity, the Neko-hanten lights were on and the doors open. Ranma never stopped to consider the weirdness of it and stormed inside, snarling for the one person he wanted to beat up the most.

"Ghoul!"

Cologne hopped into the kitchen counter, smiling broadly.

"Son-in-Law! As insolent and energetic as ever! The wonders of youth!"

"Cut the crap, Old Ghoul." Ranma snarled, storming towards her. "I've taken all I can from you. I ain't ever gonna marry Shampoo and I won't let you hurt her for that!"

"You sound like a man with a plan."

"I challenge you! If I win, you're gonna leave me and Shampoo alone."

"What if you lose?"

"Then I marry her."

Cologne stared at him for a while, as if assessing the seriousness of the request. She hopped back inside the kitchen.

"You cannot defeat me, Son-in-Law."

"I beat a God!" He snarled, slamming both hands on the counter.

"That doesn't mean you can beat an old woman."

"We gonna find-wait. Wouldn't you want me to lose?"

Ranma looked around and noticed Shampoo was also there, standing shyly next to the fridge. Her presence plus the lack of grappling was strangely upsetting…like a stain on his futon or a lone sock.

"Shampoo doesn't want you anymore, so no."

"You don't want me anymore!?"

"Focus, Son-in-Law." Cologne said dryly. "You want this over and so do we. Here's what will happen."

"What?!" Akane screamed. "Ranma, you can't be serious!"

Ranma shrugged. As it turned out, the only way for Shampoo to avoid punishment was to demonstrate he was no longer a suitable husband. Since there was nothing wrong with his genitals- as he had howled to Cologne when the topic came up- the only option left was to fight again and for Shampoo to win.

"You could prepare to throw off the fight." Nabiki pointed out. "Just break a few bones."

"Or eat a lot and get fat!" Kasumi added.

"How about The Moxibution of Evil?"

Ranma sighed. Shampoo had to beat him or he would never get to settle with Akane. He had to be beaten and by a girl. The rumors would run like fire in a dry corn field. Things were getting nasty. He glanced at Akane and the heavy bandages covering her arms. Maybe he should break a few bones before the fight…

The next day, as predicted, Nabiki started selling tickets and taking bets for the battle between Shampoo and Ranma taking place in two months. She didn't exactly encourage rumors about it being a 'passionate fight for Akane's heart', but didn't correct people either. The need for information prompted Yuko and Sayuri to approach her again. Akane told them to take a hike. It was rude but felt wonderful. Solitude was better than hanging out with rotten company. She left School grounds as soon as the bell rang.

The Neko-hanten was still close and a new sign hanged from the door. It promised a possible reopening in two months. She knocked on the back alley door. It opened to reveal Mr Pu. He glared at her.

"You go away! You cause big problem! Go away!"

She placed her foot against the door frame and scowled at him. Normally that was enough to cow him into good manners. The hunched bitter man bared his teeth at her in anger.

"Daughter go train hard to fight battle against monster god-slayer and all because you!"

"This is not my fault!" She snapped back. "If you would be half a man, nothing of this would be necessary!"

He paled at that and stormed back into the house, leaving the door open. Akane sighed and walked in. The door to Shampoo's room was open. There was a pink suitcase with cloths on the bed. The Amazon approached it and set a toothbrush and a comb inside. She glanced at Akane and shut it close.

"Ni Hao."

"Ni Hao. Ranma told me what happened."

"Okay."

"It's a big challenge."

"Is only way."

"What if you lose?"

"Then I bow to faith and try get Ranma."

Akane's lower lip trembled and she hugged the Amazon. Shampoo glanced around to make sure no one was around this time and hugged her back.

"I train real hard, Akane. Great-grandmother teach many things. I no lose again."

"Thank you for doing this."

"I no doing it for you."

"Okay"

"Is not."

"Right."

"Akane!"

"If you children are done, we have a flight to catch."

They let go off each other and Shampoo picked up her suitcase. They walked together outside. A cab was waiting. Cologne looked at Akane before getting inside. She gave her a box.

"Put that in the water every time you get in the furo. The cuts will heal faster and they won't leave a mark."

Akane smiled at her.

"Thank you."

The old woman nodded and hopped in the car next to Shampoo. The girl climb out the window on the other side and waved crazily at Akane till the cab-driver snapped at her to get in or they would get pulled over. Akane smiled and headed back home.


	12. Shampoo Vs Ranma!

Oh, well, here's last chapter! I'm very fond of this story cause is the second I ever managed to finish and the one I put the most work on :D

Thank you all for R&R and being patient with all the changes and repostings! (yeah, you specially VlightPhase)

* * *

><p>The two months had passed and it seemed all Nerima was holding its breath in anticipation of the upcoming fight. A crowd had gathered around the arranged arena: the vacant lot right around the block from the Tendo Dojo. Nabiki roamed the boisterous crowd she had gathered, taking bets. Ukyo was smiling for the huge amount of okonomiyaki she had sold already. Soun and Genma played shougi on the sidelines while Kasumi served tea.<p>

Ranma was dozing in the center of the arena. She sneezed herself awake and sniffed back a huge dangling booger. Akane scowled darkly at the red-head.

"Haven't you overdone it a bit?"

"Feh! To lose this time's to win so I'm gonna make sure Shampoo gets her way." Ranma said, attempting to straighten up. "I didn't slept or eat in the last three days. I fought Ryoga and Kuno all morning and I told Kodachi I want her out of my life an hour ago!" She sneezed again and shuddered. "And I spent all night in the pond. Shampoo can't lose now…"

She laughed in anticipation of the upcoming defeat, before collapsing stiffly to the ground. Akane sighed and picked her up. Ranma had done everything on his power to even the odds. The rest was up to Shampoo.

It was five minutes passed the scheduled hour when a column of students solemnly parted. Shampoo and Cologne approached the arena. It was quite an accomplishment for someone with such a babyish face and small sizes to look like a badass but Shampoo managed. The black tight pants, sleeveless shirt, red-blood leather breastplate and metal arm-bands aided some, but it was the hardened gaze and the bandages covering her arms and face what imposed a stunned silence in the crowd and wiped the confident smirk off Ranma's face.

Akane quickly joined her family in the peripheries, her hands closed into tight fists. Shampoo just _had_ to win. She hoped Ranma remembered that if things got ugly.

"Okay, you two." Cologne said. "Surrender or knock out. Begin!"

Shampoo dropped to ground on hands and feet, letting out a low piercing yowl before she leaped at her opponent with a raised hand. Ranma's eyes widened, taken aback by her speed, and raised an arm to block. She hissed in pain as deep cuts slashed across her forearm. Shampoo's hands blurred and the red-head dodged and jumped to avoid their stinging bite. Her cloths were not so lucky and ripped pieces off fabric flew around them like confetti.

"Those moves!" Genma gasped, kicking the shogui board right before Soun made a winning move. "C-can it be?!"

"The Nekoken, yes it can." Cologne stated, pleased with herself. Kasumi handed her a cup of tea. "Thank you, dear."

"But for her to do that…" Akane gasped and glared at the old woman. "How could you that to her!?"

"Do what to her?"

"The Nekoken heightens the abilities of those who master it, but it demands as much as it gives!" Soun stated ominously. Nabiki handed him a microphone. "The user must develop a maddening phobia of felines to submerge into a state of the most primal fury!"

The crowd gasped, stunned and avalanched towards Nabiki, demanding to change their bets.

"The Nekoken improves speed, reflexes and strength but a mindless opponent is hardly difficult to defeat if one can keep up." Cologne stated, her huge eyes narrowed as she watched the fight. "The consequences of the traditional training methods make it a liability more than anything else. Only an idiot would not see that."

Everyone turned to glare at Genma and found a still dripping panda sitting on his place.

"Shampoo had an advantage that allowed her to learn the secrets of the Nekoken without giving up her sanity."

"She turns into a cat!" Akane said in sudden realization.

"She's being a cat since we reached China two months ago. She spent the first month surviving alone in the jungle and trained with me the next. I wasn't sure it would work but look at her go!"

Ranma winced when a slashing hand passed her throat, leaving faint marks. A kick connected to her ribs and sent her rolling to the floor. In a second, the red-head was back on her feet to slap aside a flying fist. Shampoo hissed and flipped over her to avoid a brutal kick. Ranma spun around with breath-taking speed and slammed a foot on the Amazon's side. The smirk on her face banished as Shampoo grabbed her leg.

The crowd grimaced in sympathy as Shampoo flung Ranma over her shoulder and slammed her on the floor. She swung her around like a rag doll and slammed her again on the other side. She would have done it again if the dazed red-head wouldn't have dug her fingers and teeth on the ground. As Shampoo tried to snatch her back, Ranma bent her leg and slammed her free foot on the girl's face. The Amazon lost the hold but immediately pounced on Ranma. The red-head rolled desperately out of the way and Shampoo's fist slammed into the ground. The earth cracked open.

"Fuck!"

Ranma staggered to her feet and desperately jumped and dodged to avoid Shampoo's furious blows. She regretted bitterly not being in top shape. The old woman had turned the Amazon, a competent but flawed opponent, into someone worth facing. A fist passed her cheekbone, cutting the skin, and Ranma sneezed. Shampoo cried out and shuddered in disgust as the spittle rained right on her face. The crowd clamored their own gross out with a mighty 'ewww'. Ranma did not lose a beat.

"Kachu Tenshin Amaguri Ken!"

"Ranma no baka! You're supposed to loose!"

Akane screamed in outrage as Ranma's hand blurred. The Amazon staggered back, taking several blows to the face. One of her hands flashed upwards and halted a blow, then another and another. Shampoo's arms blurred as she blocked Ranma's fists. The red-head twisted around and threw a slower but heavier punch to the face. Shampoo shielded and left her stomach open to receive a lashing foot. It impacted solidly against her ribs. Ranma yowled and slapped a hand away from the pit of her stomach. Shampoo's outstretched finger stabbed her a few inches above the hip instead. Ranma jumped back to get some distance between them, and fell flat on her butt as her left leg buckled under her. It had gone completely numb and would not move.

"Hey, what the hell?!"

The Amazon smiled sinisterly and advanced slowly towards Ranma as she stood precariously on one leg. The crowd held its breath, stunned by the strange twist the battle was taking.

"Not nice beat up in front of all you people, yes?"

"Hey! I'm tired, I'm hungry and I'm sick!"

"You whine like Mousse."

"I Do Not whine like Mousse."

Cologne groaned. Training children was lots of fun, but at times it was also really frustrating. She had warmed Shampoo, repeatedly, about slowing down the initial charge to gloat. Ranma, not any better than her stupid protégée, was quickly forgetting the stakes as the freezing aura building around her testified.

Shampoo pounced on Ranma, yowling, and threw a blow with an outstretched finger. It was dodged and so the next and the next. Hissing in anger, she shifted to amaguriken speed. The red-head winced, her right arm going numb as her shoulder took a hit to protect her chest. Shampoo heaved.

"You better no move no more. If I press wrong shiatsu you never walk again!"

"And you better pay more attention to what your opponent's doing!"

Shampoo's eyes widened. The air around them was freezing and whirling madly. Akane and Cologne were yelling. Ranma's hard eyes glinted.

"Aiya."

"Hiryū Shōten Ha!"

Ranma landed a brutal uppercut and Shampoo screamed as the world turned into a freezing, deafening hell. The crowd gasped in shock as a huge twister roared to life before them. It cleared soon to reveal only Ranma standing in the arena. She sneezed several times and fell on her but.

"Sorry, Shampoo." She drawled, rubbing her nose with the back of her hand. "I win again."

"YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO LOOSE, BAKA!"

Akane, Soun and Genma jumped on Ranma and started beating the crap out of her. Mr Pu approached hesitantly and sneaked a kick and a punch before scurrying away. The crowd whispered, discussing the events. Many male-and some female- voices proclaimed readiness to mend Shampoo's broken heart after losing Akane. Ukyo sighed and, due to the huge sellout, raised the price slightly.

"The fight is not yet over." Cologne stated ominously, staring up.

"Oh, that's a relief." Kasumi smiled.

The crowd silenced as Shampoo came plunging down from the sky. Ranma dragged from under Soun, Genma and Akane's feet but the flaring blue hue surrounding the falling Amazon was enough of a hint to stay away. Shampoo twisted in the air and landed neatly on hands and knees. She looked up at Ranma, blood dripping from her mouth and nose.

"That. Hurt!"

She slammed a fist against the floor, digging a finger in the hardened soil. The ground imploded. It was an impressive demonstration that had the crowd gasping but only raised a lot of dust...and broke a pipe. Water rushed out of the crack and engulfed the Amazon.

Ranma gasped and shuddered as an horrifying creature emerged seconds later from the rushing water. Its paws touched the floor but made no sound. Its gleaming demonic eyes fixed on him. Wicked jaws snapped open in a nightmarish wail. Drooling fangs would soon dig on his flesh and bones. The red-head hid behind Akane, moaning and stuttering.

"NO, THIS AIN'T FAR!"

"I say it is." Cologne stated with a pleased smile. "You can surrender."

"I do not surrender!"

Ranma snarled, facing the old woman and then jumped back from a glowing, glaring Akane. A piercing hideous screech precluded the sudden apparition of the horrifying monster right in front of her. The red-head howled and jumped back, hopping with stunning speed with her only functional leg around the field, the useless arm flailing disgustingly with each jump. The small spitting kitten that was Shampoo gave chase, her fur puffed out.

"Ranma-kun, this is more pathetic than actually surrendering!"

Nabiki informed loudly. The crowd nodded and murmured in agreement. It suddenly dawned on Ranma that she was going to lose. And to a girl! Enraged, she closed her eyes tightly, stopped abruptly and whirled around, swinging the numb leg like a club. She felt the cat jumping and threw a powerful punch. Everyone cringed and winced in sympathy as Shampoo yowled and flew backwards for the force of the blow. She hit a wall and fell limply on the ground.

A pale Akane rushed to the fallen animal. Her heart dropped to her feet. She was unconscious. Ranma, Cologne and Nabiki hurried to her side as she cradled the batter cat against her chest. Her sister glanced at her briefly and announced the result to the crowd. The few clueless and horny-heads that bet for Shampoo groaned and collapsed to their knees.

"Oh, well. It was fun."

Cologne sighed and turned to Ranma. She jabbed the pointy end of her staff on her shoulder and above the hip. The red-head winced as her numb arm and leg started prickling painfully. It took some seconds to recover full mobility. Despite the huge gap of skill, Shampoo always managed to get the adrenaline pumping. Ranma smiled fondly.

"I won't marry Ranma."

The smile banished and she whirled on Akane, the shock strong enough that it allowed her to overlook the hideous monster between her arms. The look she sent her, however, was no less terrifying. It made Ranma remembered all of the sudden what the challenge was all about. She cringed.

"Don't be hard on the boy, child. He's got pride, there's nothing wrong with that." Cologne said fondly, taking the cat carefully from Akane. "It's disappointing he's not fitting to marry my Shampoo."

"What da ya mean I ain't fitting!?" Ranma snarled.

"Would you stop?!" Akane snarled, smacking the red-head on the back of the head.

"You're afraid of cats." Cologne sated in mock shock. "I won't have my heir marry someone afraid of a litter of kittens. It would be embarrassing!"

"But you—since we met-you-no, you..." Ranma's eyes blazed, burning chi flamed around her trembling body. Cologne passed Shampoo quickly to Akane again. "I'M GONNA KILL YA!"

Half of Nerima was destroyed that day and enraged citizens demanded Ranma and Akane get married immediately to avoid further incidents. When the blushing stammering children refused, the angry mob marched to burn down the Dojo. Marriage licenses were promptly signed. And so, the fiancée war came to an end.

A week later, Kasumi threw out a celebration party to cover the traditional aspect of marriage and mend the wounded reputation of the Tendo family among dear neighbors. As she spent her days in the kitchen and preparing the decorations, the rest of the family worked furiously to nullify all threats and avoid a potential disaster.

Ranma cared for Ukyo and so she had to be officially invited. Unfortunately, s_omebody _filled Tokyo with ads of her restaurant promising great discounts for tourists right on the day of the wedding. The poor girl had to deal with a horde of mostly elderly people babbling in several languages -incidentally, none of which was Japanese- demanding discounts and 'two big mozzarellas and a peperoni'. The sight of so many dollars and stunning tips kept a smile on her sweaty twitching face.

Kodachi was a psychopath but she was capable of feeling affection and there wasn't one single creature in the world she loved most than her crocodile pet. She had raised the belligerent creature since it was an egg and so its disappearance two days before the wedding- and the threatening letter left on the creak regarding its future if any Kuno approached the Tendo Dojo on the weeding day- was enough to keep her away. Tatatewaki was probably down in a drug-induced coma.

The old leech was still conventionally absent; Mousse had 'mistakenly' taken a flight to Peru as he followed Cologne around at the airport of Benjiin two months ago. They knew nothing about him yet. Ryoga popped up in the middle of the ceremony, just when Ranma landed a soft quick kiss to Akane's lips. He remained comatose for the rest of the party. Since Nabiki- after a confusing exchange with Akane in a dark alley- did not invited anyone outside of the official guest list, only friends and family members arrived. Thus, the party was spent in peace.

After dancing with all guests and with Ranma beating the crap out of a panda in the far corner for unknown reasons, Akane decided the time 'to be cute' was over and the elaborate dress, hairdo and shoes had to go. She approached the banquet table where Shampoo and Cologne rested. The Amazon sat crouched on the chair, staring intently at her fist. Her fingers opened and a fly escaped. She caught it again using both hands and released it a moment later. The poor insect was easily recaptured. Shampoo took it slowly to her opened mouth.

"Don't!" Cologne snapped.

Shampoo flinched and released the bug. It flew away and directed her attention to the smiling Akane.

"I'm dying on this dress. Help me change?"

Akane loosened the tight strings of the ceremonial dress and removed it carefully. She set it on the closet with a soft smile. Her head and feet bumped once freed of their beautiful but vicious ornaments. She took a moment to look at herself in the mirror. She didn't look different- saved for her hair being slightly longer- but she felt changed for everything that had happened since Ranma had come crushing into her life. The world was no longer a safe place but she had learned to appreciate life differently and not to take death lightly. She had learned to accept love and cherish it in all its forms.

Shampoo sat crouched on the bed, licking her hand and then rubbing her face with it. Akane wrinkled her nose a little but she just couldn't stop smiling. She leaned into the closet in search of a more comfortable and casual dress.

"Why did Cologne make you fight if she had already made a decision?"

Shampoo growled softly.

"Great-grandmother too too sneaky. She say Japan spoil. Need get serious again so make do all this."

"You put up a good fight. Ranma was impressed." Akane emerged from behind the closet door. "How do I look?"

"That dress tacky and horrible." Shampoo pounced from the bed to crash Akane in a mighty glomp. "But you face glowing."

"Thank you." Akane hugged her warmly back. "Are you really happy how things turned out?"

"Men come and go but real friend strange catch."

"I love you Shampoo. Not like _that, _though."

"I love you too, Akane and I do find you sexually attractive."

Shampoo whispered in her ear and squeezed her ass. Akane pulled back sharply. The Amazon laughed.

"Funny joke!"

Akane slapped her sharply across the face.

"Aiya."

"Pervert."

**El Fin. **


End file.
